“It almost feels like I have two opposite voices inside me. One is full of hope and the other one is full of fear,” Darrell, a friend said.
This conversation reminded me of something called the Theory of Possible Selves by Hazel Markus and Paula Nurius.
Often, I write about how the Gods have placed divinity within us. Recently, I’ve been thinking about how that personal divinity is connected with hope and love.
The Theory of Possible Selves suggests that you have possible Hoped-for Selves and you have Feared Selves.
Here are three insights.
- Identify how your Feared Self operates during your daily life.
During my day, my Feared Self acts like a loud passenger that criticizes me down to the bone. The criticism rises from my fear related to my health and connected to fear of somehow becoming homeless. The real problem is the Feared Self acts like a shackle that prevents you from getting more and better into your life. What is your own Feared Self saying to you?
- Discover how you would like your Hoped-for Self to be more present in your life.
My Hoped-for Self is a quiet passenger. Much more subdued than the Feared Self. I need to coax it out from the background. I must feed it to give it strength. My Hoped-for Self needs space to grow. If you don’t make the appropriate space, the Feared Self will take over.
Imagine a garden. Your Hoped-for Self is like roses. And the Feared Self is like weeds. You need to tend the garden so the Hoped-for Self (roses) will thrive. If you don’t, the weeds will take over.
- Use a simple ritual to elevate and honor your Hoped-for Self.
Here is a simple ritual that you can do to honor your Hoped-for Self.
Timing: Waxing to full moon. During the sunrise in the morning.
What you will need:
- One orange chime candle
- Rose oil
- Candle holder
- Fireproof surface
- Silver ring
Cast Circle in the usual manner. Cleanse and consecrate all your items.
Dress the orange chime candle with rose oil. Use the boline to carve Hoped-for Self on the orange chime candle. Put the ring around the candle. Place the candle in the candle holder. (Be careful: If your ring has gems in it, watch out because they may be damaged if placed near flames.)
Now concentrate on your Hoped-for Self. Think of all the things you hope for in yourself and the world around you. Feel the happiness of all you hope for.
Once you have that feeling firm in your heart, light the chime candle and say:
Little bright dancing flame,
I instill this ring in your name,
Your energy runs down into this ring,
Instilling my Hoped-for Self in this thing.
Hoped-for Self is now instilled,
Full of energy and now fulfilled.
So Mote It Be.
Let the chime candle burn itself out on its own. Once that has happened, place your ring on your finger.
Every time your Feared Self rises, twist the ring on your finger clockwise (“deosil”.) Say, “Hoped-for Self is here to stay.”
May these insights help you on your path.
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