How to Heal by Separating Yourself Spiritually from a Bad Relationship

Magick Spellwork

Magick Spellwork

How to Heal by Separating Yourself Spiritually

from a Bad Relationship

We’ve all been in a bad relationship at some time in our lives. Whether it is a family problem or ex-lovers or a friendship that just plain went sour. So how do we spiritually separate ourselves from these poisonous people?

You can use many different ways to accomplish this. However, the first and foremost thing to do is to verbally end the relationship. You might say something like: “I don’t think this is healthy for us. So let’s just stop seeing each other.”

Second, physically stay away from the person. The idea is to stop spiritually ingesting the poison of interacting with them.

Many people hesitate to do the first two steps. For many, true change is quite difficult. I can relate to this. And, I’m providing the below ritual for when you’re truly ready to move on with your life.

Now, it’s time to use what I call the Separation Ritual. This ritual involves disconnecting the astral connections that you and the person made during the relationship.

Unless you take action, you stay connected to the person. How? Your astral bodies remain connected. Negative energy can still be transferred both ways. To protect yourself from these bad energies you must cut all ties from that person. This is where the Separation Ritual comes in.

Ideally, the person would participate in a Separation Ritual with you. That often does not happen. So you take an object that will stand in for the person. This object could be a picture or even a teddy bear, if the person likes teddy bears.

Use a length of yarn or piece of red string, which represents the connections you have between you and the toxic person. Red is for the life force but you can uses another color if you think that would be a better representation.

For this ritual you’ll need both your athame (to cast your circle) and a boline, which is a white handle knife used specifically for cutting physical objects during ritual.

Important: Athames are used to cut energy. Bolines are used to cut physical objects.

Here are the steps of True Separation:

  1. Verbally end the relationship
  2. Stay away from the person.
  3. Ground yourself.
  4. Cast circle.
  5. Do the Separation Ritual (see below).
  6. Do the Cakes and Wine ritual.
  7. Close the circle.
  8. Finally continue to have no contact with the toxic person.

You will need your usual ritual items to cast circle and your altar. As I mentioned you will also have a length of yarn or piece of red string. The yarn/string must be long enough to encircle your own waist and to encircle the object (that represents the toxic person).

The Separation Ritual

Take the object. First, your will asperge it. Asperge means to sprinkle the holy water with your fingers onto the object.

With the holy water, asperge and say:

I cleanse and consecrate you by water and earth.

Next you will cense the object. Cense means to waft incense smoke over the object.

With the incense smoke, cense and say:

I bless and charge you with air and fire.

Then take the string/yarn and cense and asperge it as well and say:

I cleanse and consecrate you by water and earth.

I bless and charge you with air and fire.

Take the red string/yarn in your hands saying:

Tiny bundle of String/yarn

You are now the same as the bonds between me and Name of person.

Tie one end of the string/yarn to the object and then encircle your waist with the other end of the string/yarn, while you say:

You are the bonds that connect us now.

From me to Name of person and from Name of person to me.

Our connection is by thee.


Sit and concentrate on the bond between you both and see it as the string/yarn that now connects you and the object. Once you have a firm connection with that thought, take the boline and cut the string/yarn, seeing in your mind’s eye the astral bonds being cut along with the string/yarn.

Once you complete the cut, say:

I am now free of the ties of Name of person as he/she is of me.

May my happiness expand, and may Name of person’s happiness expand.

Blessed be.

Finish up with the cakes and wine part of the ritual and then close the circle.

And you’re done.

Separating ourselves from toxic people is important for our happiness and well being. It even blesses the life of the other person. You are doing yourself and the other person a favor.

I trust that this ritual will help you be happier and healthier.



Cakes and Wine Ceremony



Cakes and Wine Ceremony

What is a cakes and wine ceremony? It is the process of using food and drink to replenish the energy spent doing the working or ritual. Food also helps you to ground. Why is grounding important? It helps you shed the extra energy that you may have accumulated during your working. We raise energy to do our workings and when we are finished we need to shed that energy. For that we use this ceremony, which also helps replenish your body of the energy it used to do the magick. So the ceremony has a dual purpose.

For this ceremony you first must bless the food and drink. You begin with the wine or juice.

1)      Take the cup from your altar and pour the wine or juice into it. Then take the athame and dip its tip into the wine or juice. Say:

As the athame is the male, so the cup is the female, and so joined bring union and harmony.

2)      Pour some of your blessed wine or juice into the offering bowl or plate on your altar. While doing this say:

To the Gods!

You can now partake in the beverage.

3)      Take your athame and point it over the cake. Say:

Blessed be these cakes that they bestow health, peace, joy, strength, and that fulfillment of love that is perpetual happiness.

4)      Take one of the cakes (or just a piece of the cake) and place it in the offering bowl or plate. Say:

To the Gods!

You can now partake of the blessed cakes.

Note that this ritual was written for someone practicing alone. If it is conducted in a group, pass around the cup and the cakes, each person taking a sip and one of or part of the cake. As each person passes the wine and cake, they should say to the next person:


As you hand the cup to another say: May you never thirst.

The person replys to this: Blessed Be.

As you offer a cake say: May you never hunger.

When the cake(s) is offered to you reply: Blessed Be.

The Wiccan Altar

An Example of a Wiccan Altar

An Example of a Wiccan Altar

When I first started to learn from my mentor, it took me forever to remember where everything went on my altar. I would feel self-conscious about making mistakes. My mentor smiled and simply moved the item I had misplaced to where it should reside on the altar. So don’t beat yourself up if you need to use this picture for a while.

There are about just as many ways to set up an altar as there are people. Each person or group may have a certain way of doing an altar setup. Here’s an example of a Wiccan altar. Let’s start with the right side of the Altar.

  • As you can see at the top right is the “Cakes/Bread” You can use bread, cupcakes, cookies or a power bar for that matter. It should contain carbohydrates to nourish the body to replenish the energy you used during ritual.
  • Below that you can see the “Censer & Incense“. This incense burner has cone incense inside it. However, you can burn any kind of incense in this burner. Remember that incense, when burned, represents air on your altar.
  • You can see the “Taper (a long wick),” which is used to help light the candles. You light everything from the working candle. You can use the Taper to transfer the flame to another candle to light it.
  • To the right is the “Lighter” which is used to light the working candle.
  • Below that is the “Bell/Chime” that you use for ringing, when appropriate.
  • Continuing around in a clockwise direction is the “Pentacle”. You use the pentacle to help you focus your attention on your goal.
  • To the left of the pentacle is the “Athame” used to cast circle and to direct power.
  • Above the athame is the “Water in Bowl.” Water is one of the four elements and is used with the salt to make your holy water.
  • Continuing around we have the “Salt in Dish“. Representing Earth, Salt is put into the water.
  • Above the salt is the “Wine Filled Cup”. The cup as you remember is a female symbol and holds the wine/juice to be blessed.
  • Above this are the “Offering Dishes.”
  • Next you see in the middle the “Goddess Candle” and the “God Candle,” which are used to represent the deities.
  • Between the God and Goddess candles, find the “Working Candle,” which you use to light everything else during ritual. The Working Candle represents fire on your altar.
  • And flowers are always a nice touch for nature and the goddess.

We will discuss more on how to use an altar later. Have a great week!

Blessed Be,

Moonwater SilverClaw

The Tools of Wicca: The Athame

Merry Meet. In my last post we discussed a little about what Wicca is. Now, lets discuss how it is practiced.

How do I practice Wicca?

We as Wiccans attune ourselves to the seasons and use the Sabbats as one of those tools to help us do so. I will be discussing the Sabbats later. I think you should know about the tools first, so let’s talk about the tools we use to help us practice the craft. We will start with the athame.


The Athame

The Athame

One of the most used tools in Wicca, the athame is a ritual dagger that we use to channel and direct energy. It is used to bless and consecrate other tools, such as the elements on our altar, which we will also discuss later.

The athame (as you can see above) usually has a black handle. It has a double edged blade. One of the most important things about the athame is that it is NOT used to cut physical objects. You never cut physical objects with it. That is what the boline is used for. We will discuss the boline later, too.

The athatme is used to channel the energy you raise to where you need it to go. This could be sending energy to bless something or in some cases even casting a circle. However some covens use the sword for that purpose. Yes, some Wiccans use a sword in their rites. The sword is just like a large athame.

The athame is generally held in your dominant hand, because, this is usually the hand most people use to “push” energy out of. So pushing the energy out and directing it with the athame is the natural next step. Each tool can either represent the masculine or the feminine. The athame is a masculine tool.

In the next post I will discuss the cup or chalice.

Blessed be

Moonwater Silverclaw