Terrified. That was the right word. I stood in front of the audience about to give my first speech at a Toastmasters meeting.
It did not matter that other people would speak after me. They would be nervous, too.
My own fear made me shake.
Speaking aloud in front of an audience had not gone well in my past. I remembered reading a paragraph aloud in a high school English class. My dyslexia made me sound like an idiot.
The teacher said, “Okay that’s enough.”
Fellow student, Joe Jerk-face said, “Yeah! That’s enough!”
And now at Toastmasters, I was about to give a speech. Crap!
I said, “I couldn’t breathe. My brother held me underwater. Why would he torture a little girl? When I coughed up the water, the swimming pool didn’t look like a place to play. How much more of this life could I survive?” A few minutes in, I saw two people nod. (Oh, thank you! Good humans!)
After I finished. Some applause.
All good.
Even better. I was proud of myself. I had walked toward my fear.
Later, I went on to be a guest speaker – over 12 times – at a Comparative Religion college course to introduce people to Wicca. That was new for them. It still was a tough stretch for me to talk to an audience but … again and again … I walked toward the fear.
Here are three insights.
1. Keep yourself safe.
Number one. Keep yourself safe. Can you get physically hurt if you take on a risk? David, someone in my circle, was a movie stuntman over 20 years ago. Would he risk his health or life today? No f***ing way!
Still, he took precautions during his stuntman time. He also refused to do certain stunts. And, he’s alive to tell the tale.
Are you thinking of taking a risk that could hurt you physically? Like walking in a dangerous area? Just after the bars close? Hold up! Stay safe.
2. Decide what you value most. Drop the distractions.
Other risks may mean temporary pain. So, high school kids laughed at my reading a paragraph. I still adapt to having dyslexia.
But, you know what? Who cares about high school kids’ laughter?!
I have to value your opinion in order to let it control me.
What do you value most? Is it growing as a person? Pushing beyond some artificial limits?
When do you feel most alive?
3. Ask Goddess for support.
When I have walked toward fear, I was answering the call of divinity that Goddess placed within me.
Here is a prayer you can use:
Goddess, help me answer the call, Help me know the true call from the false call. Show me how to walk into the unknown with Your strength. So Mote It Be.
My father is facing a surgical procedure. Something is wrong inside his bladder. I am also helping my elderly parents move to another living facility. Lots of pressure for us all.
What more can go wrong?
If you face these kinds of worries—often called “being afraid of the other shoe dropping” … I have one particular insight for you.
Use a chant to focus your mind and release you from worry.
Here is a chant you can use.
“Goddess knows. And Goddess protects me.”
Say this at least 3 times. As you likely know, 3 is a sacred number.
Goddess knows everything that there is to know, and She will surround you with protection.
Tuning into this reality can be a “breath of fresh air.”
Consider trying this.
Recently, I held hands with my husband, and we said this chant aloud together.
“People talk about new beginnings, but they don’t talk about the slog through mud to get there,” my friend, Alicia, said.
She was referring to the transitions that we endure.
I earned one degree at a community college. Then, I went to a “polytechnical” college. The other students had more money than I did. They bought the apps. They were ahead of me. I had to “live at the computer lab.” Worse. Some instructors did not teach. I was behind others. What a lousy transition.
Fortunately, I have a knack for video editing (for example), and I have edited some good work.
In this New Year, let’s talk about beginnings, endings, and transitions.
I have three insights for you.
1. Shift from inner resistance to change.
“Magic is natural. It is a harmonious movement of energies to create needed change.” – Scott Cunningham
Have you ever hesitated to do a ritual to create the change you need in your life? I’ve noticed that many of us do not want something enough to endure the change that would be required.
Authors Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy wrote about how you can transform your life. There is just one hiccup. To have a big positive new chapter in life, you might have to let go of 80% of your usual habits. That’s right. It’s dropping one’s comfort zone.
I suggest that we look at doing something that is at least in the helpful direction. For example, tonight, it was tremendously cold. My husband and I went for a 12-minute walk. That was better than nothing.
We got over our inner resistance by promising ourselves “It’s just 10 minutes…”
What resistance do you need to let go of?
2. Shift from “Need” to “Want.”
Author Dan Sullivan wrote down in a log what he really wanted every day for 25 years. At that point, he had manifested a loving relationship and created prosperity with work that truly served others.
What do you really want?
What if you could have it…even if it might take three years in real-time?
When you focus only on “what you need,” your canvas is too small. The universe is vast. The God and Goddess want you to have more prosperity and happiness.
How do you define happiness?
If you had all the money you wanted, would you be happy?
I have been talking with friends about “practicing being happy.” What does that require? Being grateful right now for what you got.
Nor do I demand aught of sacrifice, for behold, I am the Mother of all things and My love is poured out upon the earth.” – The Goddess in The Charge of the Goddess, as written by Doreen Valiente
The shift from “need” to “want” is NOT about sacrifice. It’s about a shift in energy and perspective. When you have enough energy, change is a flowing experience.
What rituals will you do to uplevel your energy?
Are you interested in using energy to make a transition from where you are to where you really want to be?
3. Ask the God and Goddess to elevate your energy.
You can use a prayer like this.
Light Goddess, Dark Goddess, Goddess make me whole. Jannis God of doorways, Jannis God of Beginnings, Endings, and Transitions, Usher me into my New Year safely. Help my spirit and body rise in the names of the Gods. So Mote It Be.
“I just felt like a weak failure,” I told a friend recently. “I have trouble crying because I don’t want to show weakness. I’m afraid of showing weakness.”
Have you heard someone tell you, “You have to have a thick skin”?
People say that one is too sensitive to criticism. So, supposedly, having a “thick skin” is like being courageous. You’re supposed to do more and do better.
But wait a damn minute. What about those “energy vampires” who consciously cut us down? It’s not about having a thick skin. It’s about someone draining our energy.
Without enough energy, you don’t have the capacity to stand strong. I’ve seen myself, because of depression symptoms, being stuck. Paralyzed to do something simple. Why? No energy.
Do you relate to this?
I have three insights for you.
1. Keep your shield strong so they can’t take your energy.
Here is a process so you can keep your shield strong.
The Tree of Life Meditation/Cosmic Egg Shield
Meditation Exercise – “The Tree of Life”
Slowly breathe in and out. Breathe in the energy of love and peace (envision this as white energy). Breathe out all stress and negativity (envision this as black smoke). Keep taking deep breaths in and out. Concentrate on the white energy being breathed in and filling up your body with loving energy. Then let go and breathe out the negative energy you see as black smoke. As you do this, release the stresses of the day. Repeat this breathing cycle at least three times until you are comfortable and relaxed.
As your body and mind begin to relax, continue deep breathing and focus on this image:
Envision roots made up of energy sprouting from the bottoms of your feet. With each breath, extend the roots farther and farther down toward Mother Earth.
Extend them down through the floor, down past the plumbing of the house, and down, down deep into Mother Earth’s body. Go down to her core, to the center of her heart.
Once there, with each breath in, pull up the energy from Mother Earth. Breathe out the stress and breathe in the blue-green energy of Mother Earth.
Pull the energy up through your roots, up past the plumbing of the house, past the floor, and into your feet. The energy feels clean and refreshing.
Breathe in deeply. Pull the blue-green energy up into your legs and past your knees. Pull it up, up into your Root Chakra at the base of your spine. Let it fill your body, going up, up into your Sacral Chakra, and continuing to your Solar Plexus Chakra. Breathing in deeply, draw the energy up into your Heart Chakra. Let the energy flow down your arms and into your hands. Feel your body relax as the energy fills it.
Breathing in, draw the energy up into your Throat Chakra.
Concentrate on the blue-green energy filling your body. When you are ready, with another breath in, breathe the energy up into your Third Eye Chakra.
Using your breath, draw the energy up into your Crown Chakra. Feel the energy flow throughout your body.
With another breath in, pull the energy up and out of your head. The energy forms like branches toward the Sky above you. Continue and let the branches flow up to the universe and out into the cosmos.
Draw down the golden energy of the Sky and universe into you. Continue to let the Sky energy intermingle and mix with the Earth energy that is already there. Pull it down through your body and into your arms.
Continue breathing deeply, mixing and pulling the energies down to your Heart Chakra.
Breathe in again, pulling the energy of the universe down into your Solar Plexus Chakra.
Continue pulling in the energy. Let it flow into you. Pull it into your Root Chakra. Breathing deeply, pull it down your legs and down to your feet.
Feel the energy from both the Earth Mother and the Sky Father that is within you.
Now focus on pulling this mixed energy out from the top of your head once more. But this time let it cascade down all around you like a waterfall until it completely surrounds you.
With a deep breath in, take the energy and push it out in all directions into an egg shape around you. This is the Cosmic Egg of Protection.
Keep breathing and as you do so, push out more and more energy into your egg.
Your egg gets stronger and stronger.
And when you are satisfied with the strength of your egg stop and relax.
In a moment or two, slowly start to pull your branches back within you, pulling them in with each breath.
Let any extra energy dissipate through the roots that you had placed into the Earth from your feet, keeping the egg intact.
Now breathe the roots up, and back into your body just like the branches that were above you. Give yourself over to the total relaxation you now feel.
In a moment or two—and when you are ready—open your eyes.
[Please know that you can record the above meditation and then listen to it later. Or you could invite a friend to read above script and guide you through the meditation.]
You have now made the Cosmic Egg Shield. This shield will protect you from absorbing negative energy. It will repel any baneful energy thrown at you.
Just remember to reinforce your egg.
The Second Form of Shield—The Cosmic Egg as Mirror Shield
Create the Cosmic Egg first as you learned with the process above. This time though, imagine the outer skin of the Cosmic Egg to be a mirror. This mirror will repel the energy thrown at you by energy vampires. Instead of being able to feed on your energy, the energy vampires’ attempt will backfire, and the energy vampires will feed on themselves.
2. Realize: “I have to value your opinion before your judgments mean anything.”
We, witches, know that several groups set themselves up to think they are our opponents. You probably have noticed that they “don’t know what they’re talking about.” Really? Do they think all witches are the witch-character from The Wizard of Oz?
My friend, Cheryl, once told me of a situation in which her sister said a particularly mean comment. She could feel herself on the brink of spiraling down. Then, she told herself. “Stop. I don’t care what Trisha said. Because she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. And she doesn’t care. So, there’s nothing for me to say to her!”
That’s part of protecting yourself from an energy vampire. You choose your next thought. The first thought that bothers you can be replaced (at times).
Who says mean words to you? Perhaps, you want to tell yourself something like, “Stop. I don’tCARE what Joe said. Joe, you have no power.”
3. Ask Goddess to strengthen you to withstand the storms.
You can use a prayer like this:
Goddess, Give me your protection, From the vampires of life. Help me strengthen my healthy boundaries. So Mote It Be
A New Year. Thank Goddess! 2024—good riddance. Tough year. Parents with troubles at the senior facility. (It’s called facility-for-profit!) My husband’s parents had trouble. Oh, and his mother died. And he got physically attacked at work. Crap year. Bye, 2024.
Hellooooo 2025. Have you tried New Year’s Resolutions? No fun? Me, too.
Here are three insights.
1. Envision Your Personal Unique Path for 2025.
“Let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, honor and humility, mirth and reverence within you.” – The Goddess in The Charge of the Goddess, written by Doreen Valiente
Some of the word pairs in the quote seem to be “opposites.” Power without compassion can be evil. Humor (mirth) and reverence—good stuff.
Here’s the problem. Humans seem to be Comparison-making Machines. We look around to gauge… Am I okay? Why does that other person get the promotion? (Or to even keep the job?)
Politicians love to say, “Are you doing better now?” Compared to what?
Here’s the good news. The God and Goddess put divinity into you. You are gifted with a personal unique path.
Let’s escape the Comparison Trap.
Let’s begin with your heart. That’s what counts. (Not what other people are doing in their own lives. Yes, letting go of comparison.)
What does your heart want for 2025?
2. Arrange your daily life to nurture both the mundane AND the spiritual.
“Live your earthly life fully, but try to see the spiritual aspects of your activities as well.” – Scott Cunningham
How are things going for you? Are you doing well enough on the mundane level?
There’s an old phrase: “Treat yourself as a good animal.” What’s that? Eat, sleep, and move so that your body is well-supported.
And … treat your spirit well, too.
How? Ritual, meditation, time in nature…
This is part of a process to reconnect with your spiritual essence and the God and Goddess.
People are driven to eat for survival on the mundane level.
However, we need to choose to devote time and effort to experience existence on the spiritual level.
Are you going to be sure to devote time to ritual, meditation, and more – in this New Year 2025?
3. Ask the Goddess to Guide Your Tarot Process of the “New Year’s 6 Card Spread.”
Recently, I did a “New Year’s 6 Card Spread” for myself.
Here are the elements of the Spread:
1st card: Theme of the New Year 2025
2nd card: Where you are starting from
3rd card: Your path forward to prosperity
4th card: What you need to learn
5th card: Trials along the way
6th card: Things to consider during your journey
Important Facets of the Tarot Process:
It is truly helpful to ground and center. You get in line with yourself before you start the Tarot Process.
Realize that your spread is a “picture” of one moment in time. Just by studying your spread, you are likely moving the pieces of your future. If you see a “warning,” then you can modify your behavior. (This is a reason that doing multiple spreads over time can be helpful. My spiritual elders advise avoiding doing a daily spread on the same question. It can be excessive.)
Realize that an inverted card does not always mean “awful.” It can mean a new angle to the topic.
“My mom died, and the world feels twisted,” my friend Sarah said.
I listened a lot to Sarah.
I reflected on this. Life hits us hard. It’s easy to go dark and get bitter.
Instead, I direct my focus on repeatedly bringing the light back to my eyes.
How about you? Do you want to recover from the dark times?
I have three insights for you.
1. Focus on words that elevate.
Sarah felt regret. She remembered times when she just needed to have quiet time to herself, and she did not visit her mother. Her job is extreme. She had to have recovery time to avoid getting physically sick.
Something that helped was when I said, “Your Mom would like to see you keep going for your dreams.” Sarah said, “Yes. You’re right. Thank you.”
How about you? When has someone said something positive that helped you carry on?
2. Make space to “feel it all.”
When I feel pain, I remember that to feel the good feelings I need to avoid going numb. I realize it can be good to “feel it all” … sadness, joy, fear, and courage.
When you feel it all, you can let the tough feelings stay and then go.
“I [The Goddess] give knowledge of the spirit eternal, and beyond death I give peace and freedom,” The Goddess, in The Charge of the Goddess, written by Doreen Valiente
Some spiritual elders mention that when we suffer losses, it is like we suffer “little deaths.” The child becomes a teenager. The time of childhood has died, and the teen is the butterfly who carries on. Then, we transform beyond the teenager.
To grow, we learn the value of “feel it all.” Beyond sadness and suffering is peace and freedom. How? When we integrate what we learn on our path as witches.
Do you make space to “feel it all”?
3. Ask Goddess for renewal.
You can use a prayer like this.
Goddess, Guide me to renewal. Just like the Yule Time, when the God brings light, laughter, and love to the land, Help me rise again. Restore the light in my eyes. So Mote It Be.
“If I clear this floor of clutter, what do I get?” my husband asked.
“A clear floor,” I replied.
“What else?”
“My admiration.”
“That’s it,” he said.
“What?”
“The meaning. You make the meaning,” he concluded.
I reflected on this. Being a witch means a lot to me. It means that I am a child of the Goddess. It’s about being in touch with the natural world around me. …. And more ….
How about you? Where is the meaning in your life?
Here are three insights.
1. Find your best choices.
“You make me happy,” I exclaimed to my cat. He looked at me confused. Okay. So, he did not major in the English language.
Does my cat make me happy?
We could say that my interactions with my cat “set the stage” for my experience of happy feelings.
My point is that relying on external events for happiness may be a road to trouble. How? Often, we cannot control external events. But we can make choices for the small joys in life … That’s my cat!
What are the small joys in your life?
2. Witness how you make meaning.
A girl, Cheryl, is tormented by her older brother. Does she take that as a sign that everything in the world is unreliable and awful?
A different girl, Molly, is tormented by her older brother. But then she asks her parents for karate lessons. Then, she defends herself against her brother. Molly became formidable.
The same first situation. Different meanings and different actions.
How do you make meaning in your own life?
3. Let the Goddess guide you to your Higher Meaning.
You can use a prayer like this.
Goddess, Lead me to my Higher Meaning. Guide me on my path. Clear away useless distractions. So Mote it be.
Divorce. I didn’t want it. My hopes were crushed. More than that, my soul was crushed under my then-husband’s constant berating.
Sometimes, it feels like life “comes for us.” Divorce. Death of a loved one. Job loss. Loss of a close friend.
What do you do when you feel your life has been ruined by some tough life event?
I have three insights for you.
1. Face the trouble; gather support.
I had been married for seven years. I had no idea what would be next. Would my parents take me back? Because I had nowhere to go, even for a brief time?
I was also losing my identity. I had wanted to be a life mate. Someone who loved and was loved.
Now, this was all gone.
But things were worse. I had no support. I was buried in depression symptoms. I had no energy. I could not even think of getting help. Also, I did not see any older people who demonstrated compassion or wisdom (Later, I would have spiritual elders.)
If I could go back and give counsel to my younger self, I would say, “Gather support.” Seek the help of mental health professionals. Seek appropriate spiritual elders. Develop your own self-renewing activities like meditation, exercise (like walking in nature), good nutrition, and sleep.
About “face the trouble”… I did not deny the pain, suffering, and trouble. I did not put a pretty bow on the trouble and call it “a challenge.” No. It was a painful trauma. I needed to grow, stretch, and endure.
How?
Gather support.
In my circle, people I know step forward and make changes.
One friend had to try four chiropractors before finding one who was a match.
Another friend had to see four doctors before hearing about sinus rinse. The other doctors pushed antibiotics. This friend, with a daily sinus rinse, has avoided sinus infections for 15 years.
Another friend “fired” her psychotherapist. Then, she was truly happy with the next therapist she met and worked with.
So, gathering support may require multiple steps.
What can you do to gather support to help you endure a terrible transition?
2. Realize that you’re losing an identity. And build your new identity.
Sometimes we lose an identity and friends. If you step away from drinking alcohol, you may lose your “boozer friends.”
They may resist you changing your lifestyle for a healthier one.
Some friends that aren’t helping you may drift away. Not always quietly.
They may get angry, or even accusatory. They might even try to sabotage you or make you feel you’re not “cool” or “fun,” anymore. Or say things like, “You can just (____) one more time, right?”
Is some old friend sabotaging your new life?
Sometimes, you just need to get the support you really need, that is, from the Gods.
3. Ask the Gods for support.
What can look like ruin to us, may be a step to the Gods.
You can use this prayer to help you.
Goddess, Help me nurture my inner worth with Your love. God, Give me Your strength to resist temptations that may ruin my path. Gods, guide me and soothe my doubts. So Mote It Be.
As I settle to sleep, I suddenly remember messing up when talking to a friend. “Damn!” I grumble. “You okay?” my husband asks.
“I’m all right. Just thinking about something I messed up.”
“You want to talk about it?” “Not now,” I say.
Do you emotionally beat yourself up? I have three insights for you.
1. Find healthy comfort.
A hug from my husband can help. Or a bite of a chocolate chunky chip cookie. (Okay, I must avoid going to extreme on the cookies!)
Comfort is not a cop-out.
Comfort is a necessary part of life.
Who or what provides you with some comfort?
2. Get outside in the breeze and more.
As a witch, you know your kinship with nature. Don’t hesitate. Get that 15-minute walk next to trees. Feel the breeze. See the sky. Connect with nature. Get out of the box (office).
How can you experience your connection with nature?
3. Make prayer your ladder upwards.
In the mundane world, we humans have limitations. Call for reinforcements!
Here is a prayer you can use.
Gods, shift my mind from self-blaming, Keep me growing with kindness and self-love. Lift me up to Your light. So Mote It Be.
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