Do you know what sells more than sex? Rage. The algorithms in social media are, reportedly, geared to make people react in anger or rage.
Anger in times of chaos is understandable. In fact, my new book, World On Fire: How Witches and Wiccans Transcend the Chaos and Find Their Peace, has three sections on anger. Also, not-a-fun fact, the word “anger” shows up 45 times in this book. Good news: There is a section about how to shift so you can get sleep even if you start angry.
Here, let’s talk about shifting away from falling into a reaction. When you pause and take a breath, you can make a transition to a healthy response. Not a reaction.
Breath of the Loving Goddess
Breath supports and heals you.
So, take a deep breath in, and breathe in the love of the Goddess.
Hold…
In your mind, say, “I breathe in peace. Goddess, thank you.”
Then exhale.
In your mind, picture tension, stress, and pain exiting your body as if you are exhaling black smoke out of your mouth.
In your mind, say, “I breathe out all stress, pain, and tension.”
Repeat this process 9 times.
A warning: As with any form of exercise or exertion, consult with your doctor. Some people may need to be careful about getting lightheaded or hyperventilating.
“You look frustrated,” my friend, Susan, said. “Got that right,” I replied. “About…?” “I just can’t get in more meditation sessions,” I said.
Later, I reflected on this. So, we hear that improving our lives is just about adding a habit. (As if that were easy.)
Ever put in a new habit and in 47 days—poof!—the habit is gone?
Frustrating, right? What’s the answer?
It’s not just a change of habit. It’s a shift of identity.
Robert Rodriguez, the film director, said that he would throw out his back every time he made a film. He asked Sylvester “Sly” Stallone how he managed to stay strong and athletic. Sly said, “Get a personal trainer.”
But then, Robert had a revelation. Yes, it was good to have the support of a personal trainer. AND, he needed to shift his identity to “athlete.” Then it was about “what does an athlete do?”
We, witches, can choose layers to our identity.
I can choose and say firmly, “I AM a meditator.”
In fact … I’m taking a pause …
Now, I am back.
Guess what I just did?
I did a brief meditation session. Why? “I AM a meditator.”
What identity would you like to add to your practice as a Witch?
Here’s a prayer.
Goddess, show me the way to transformation. Guide my actions on my desired path. So Mote It Be.
“What’s good for you—that’s Wicca—that you don’t do?” my friend, Margarette, said. “Meditate more often,” I said. “What holds you back?” “It’s a freakin’ cliché. I have no time in the morning. I’m too tired at the end of the day. And, I spend my day mostly taking care of my parents (often). And one diabetic cat,” I said, my shoulders drooping. Margarette nodded. She looked sad.
I have an insight for you.
Attach The Good For You Action to Something You’re Already Doing
Something good for me is to do an action that makes me feel better.
For example, my husband massages my back every night. (Yeah, I feel lucky.)
But I just don’t get around to massaging his back.
I don’t feel good about not supporting the Love of My Life.
Except, now I’m turning that around. Now, I’ll take 10 seconds to massage the trapezius muscles next to his neck when I walk past him to my workstation (in our home).
10 seconds is better than nothing.
He smiles and says, “Wow! You remove a lot of tension from my trapezius muscles in a short time!”
So I’m going to walk past him anyway. I’ve just attached being kind to my husband (and I feel better) to my daily action.
My way to add Wicca to these 10 Seconds is to say a prayer like: “God and Goddess, thank you for my sweetheart. May he feel safe in my arms and loved.”
What would be good for you to add to your daily life?
Here’s a helpful prayer.
Goddess, Guide me to make time for What’s good for me, What’s important to me, What makes me smile. So Mote It Be.
“My sister just won’t stop for a minute to hear me out,” Milly, a new acquaintance, said.
“She has all these judgments about me and my faith. She doesn’t see me as a person. It’s like she’s talking to her projection of what she thinks I might be.”
I reflected on this.
Here are two insights that might help you.
1. You push, and they push back.
Ever try to explain your faith to someone? And, they just push back. Telling you that you’re wrong and that they know—better than you—what your spiritual path is.
Arrogant, right?
You push facts, and they push fiction. But what does the pushing get? Nothing good.
2. Invite the Gods to help you lower your “intensity.”
Have you noticed that when someone says unfair and ignorant things against you, it’s your internal “intensity” that rises?
Here is a prayer that you can use to help you lower your intensity.
I breathe in and bring in the love of the Gods. I breathe out and let go of my anxiety. I breathe in and bring in clarity. I breathe out and let go of my intensity. I breathe in calm. I breathe out and let go of my intensity. I breathe in peace within my integrity. I breathe out and let go of my intensity. May the Gods bless me. So Mote It Be
“I just felt like a weak failure,” I told a friend recently. “I have trouble crying because I don’t want to show weakness. I’m afraid of showing weakness.”
Have you heard someone tell you, “You have to have a thick skin”?
People say that one is too sensitive to criticism. So, supposedly, having a “thick skin” is like being courageous. You’re supposed to do more and do better.
But wait a damn minute. What about those “energy vampires” who consciously cut us down? It’s not about having a thick skin. It’s about someone draining our energy.
Without enough energy, you don’t have the capacity to stand strong. I’ve seen myself, because of depression symptoms, being stuck. Paralyzed to do something simple. Why? No energy.
Do you relate to this?
I have three insights for you.
1. Keep your shield strong so they can’t take your energy.
Here is a process so you can keep your shield strong.
The Tree of Life Meditation/Cosmic Egg Shield
Meditation Exercise – “The Tree of Life”
Slowly breathe in and out. Breathe in the energy of love and peace (envision this as white energy). Breathe out all stress and negativity (envision this as black smoke). Keep taking deep breaths in and out. Concentrate on the white energy being breathed in and filling up your body with loving energy. Then let go and breathe out the negative energy you see as black smoke. As you do this, release the stresses of the day. Repeat this breathing cycle at least three times until you are comfortable and relaxed.
As your body and mind begin to relax, continue deep breathing and focus on this image:
Envision roots made up of energy sprouting from the bottoms of your feet. With each breath, extend the roots farther and farther down toward Mother Earth.
Extend them down through the floor, down past the plumbing of the house, and down, down deep into Mother Earth’s body. Go down to her core, to the center of her heart.
Once there, with each breath in, pull up the energy from Mother Earth. Breathe out the stress and breathe in the blue-green energy of Mother Earth.
Pull the energy up through your roots, up past the plumbing of the house, past the floor, and into your feet. The energy feels clean and refreshing.
Breathe in deeply. Pull the blue-green energy up into your legs and past your knees. Pull it up, up into your Root Chakra at the base of your spine. Let it fill your body, going up, up into your Sacral Chakra, and continuing to your Solar Plexus Chakra. Breathing in deeply, draw the energy up into your Heart Chakra. Let the energy flow down your arms and into your hands. Feel your body relax as the energy fills it.
Breathing in, draw the energy up into your Throat Chakra.
Concentrate on the blue-green energy filling your body. When you are ready, with another breath in, breathe the energy up into your Third Eye Chakra.
Using your breath, draw the energy up into your Crown Chakra. Feel the energy flow throughout your body.
With another breath in, pull the energy up and out of your head. The energy forms like branches toward the Sky above you. Continue and let the branches flow up to the universe and out into the cosmos.
Draw down the golden energy of the Sky and universe into you. Continue to let the Sky energy intermingle and mix with the Earth energy that is already there. Pull it down through your body and into your arms.
Continue breathing deeply, mixing and pulling the energies down to your Heart Chakra.
Breathe in again, pulling the energy of the universe down into your Solar Plexus Chakra.
Continue pulling in the energy. Let it flow into you. Pull it into your Root Chakra. Breathing deeply, pull it down your legs and down to your feet.
Feel the energy from both the Earth Mother and the Sky Father that is within you.
Now focus on pulling this mixed energy out from the top of your head once more. But this time let it cascade down all around you like a waterfall until it completely surrounds you.
With a deep breath in, take the energy and push it out in all directions into an egg shape around you. This is the Cosmic Egg of Protection.
Keep breathing and as you do so, push out more and more energy into your egg.
Your egg gets stronger and stronger.
And when you are satisfied with the strength of your egg stop and relax.
In a moment or two, slowly start to pull your branches back within you, pulling them in with each breath.
Let any extra energy dissipate through the roots that you had placed into the Earth from your feet, keeping the egg intact.
Now breathe the roots up, and back into your body just like the branches that were above you. Give yourself over to the total relaxation you now feel.
In a moment or two—and when you are ready—open your eyes.
[Please know that you can record the above meditation and then listen to it later. Or you could invite a friend to read above script and guide you through the meditation.]
You have now made the Cosmic Egg Shield. This shield will protect you from absorbing negative energy. It will repel any baneful energy thrown at you.
Just remember to reinforce your egg.
The Second Form of Shield—The Cosmic Egg as Mirror Shield
Create the Cosmic Egg first as you learned with the process above. This time though, imagine the outer skin of the Cosmic Egg to be a mirror. This mirror will repel the energy thrown at you by energy vampires. Instead of being able to feed on your energy, the energy vampires’ attempt will backfire, and the energy vampires will feed on themselves.
2. Realize: “I have to value your opinion before your judgments mean anything.”
We, witches, know that several groups set themselves up to think they are our opponents. You probably have noticed that they “don’t know what they’re talking about.” Really? Do they think all witches are the witch-character from The Wizard of Oz?
My friend, Cheryl, once told me of a situation in which her sister said a particularly mean comment. She could feel herself on the brink of spiraling down. Then, she told herself. “Stop. I don’t care what Trisha said. Because she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. And she doesn’t care. So, there’s nothing for me to say to her!”
That’s part of protecting yourself from an energy vampire. You choose your next thought. The first thought that bothers you can be replaced (at times).
Who says mean words to you? Perhaps, you want to tell yourself something like, “Stop. I don’tCARE what Joe said. Joe, you have no power.”
3. Ask Goddess to strengthen you to withstand the storms.
You can use a prayer like this:
Goddess, Give me your protection, From the vampires of life. Help me strengthen my healthy boundaries. So Mote It Be
A New Year. Thank Goddess! 2024—good riddance. Tough year. Parents with troubles at the senior facility. (It’s called facility-for-profit!) My husband’s parents had trouble. Oh, and his mother died. And he got physically attacked at work. Crap year. Bye, 2024.
Hellooooo 2025. Have you tried New Year’s Resolutions? No fun? Me, too.
Here are three insights.
1. Envision Your Personal Unique Path for 2025.
“Let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, honor and humility, mirth and reverence within you.” – The Goddess in The Charge of the Goddess, written by Doreen Valiente
Some of the word pairs in the quote seem to be “opposites.” Power without compassion can be evil. Humor (mirth) and reverence—good stuff.
Here’s the problem. Humans seem to be Comparison-making Machines. We look around to gauge… Am I okay? Why does that other person get the promotion? (Or to even keep the job?)
Politicians love to say, “Are you doing better now?” Compared to what?
Here’s the good news. The God and Goddess put divinity into you. You are gifted with a personal unique path.
Let’s escape the Comparison Trap.
Let’s begin with your heart. That’s what counts. (Not what other people are doing in their own lives. Yes, letting go of comparison.)
What does your heart want for 2025?
2. Arrange your daily life to nurture both the mundane AND the spiritual.
“Live your earthly life fully, but try to see the spiritual aspects of your activities as well.” – Scott Cunningham
How are things going for you? Are you doing well enough on the mundane level?
There’s an old phrase: “Treat yourself as a good animal.” What’s that? Eat, sleep, and move so that your body is well-supported.
And … treat your spirit well, too.
How? Ritual, meditation, time in nature…
This is part of a process to reconnect with your spiritual essence and the God and Goddess.
People are driven to eat for survival on the mundane level.
However, we need to choose to devote time and effort to experience existence on the spiritual level.
Are you going to be sure to devote time to ritual, meditation, and more – in this New Year 2025?
3. Ask the Goddess to Guide Your Tarot Process of the “New Year’s 6 Card Spread.”
Recently, I did a “New Year’s 6 Card Spread” for myself.
Here are the elements of the Spread:
1st card: Theme of the New Year 2025
2nd card: Where you are starting from
3rd card: Your path forward to prosperity
4th card: What you need to learn
5th card: Trials along the way
6th card: Things to consider during your journey
Important Facets of the Tarot Process:
It is truly helpful to ground and center. You get in line with yourself before you start the Tarot Process.
Realize that your spread is a “picture” of one moment in time. Just by studying your spread, you are likely moving the pieces of your future. If you see a “warning,” then you can modify your behavior. (This is a reason that doing multiple spreads over time can be helpful. My spiritual elders advise avoiding doing a daily spread on the same question. It can be excessive.)
Realize that an inverted card does not always mean “awful.” It can mean a new angle to the topic.
Divorce. I didn’t want it. My hopes were crushed. More than that, my soul was crushed under my then-husband’s constant berating.
Sometimes, it feels like life “comes for us.” Divorce. Death of a loved one. Job loss. Loss of a close friend.
What do you do when you feel your life has been ruined by some tough life event?
I have three insights for you.
1. Face the trouble; gather support.
I had been married for seven years. I had no idea what would be next. Would my parents take me back? Because I had nowhere to go, even for a brief time?
I was also losing my identity. I had wanted to be a life mate. Someone who loved and was loved.
Now, this was all gone.
But things were worse. I had no support. I was buried in depression symptoms. I had no energy. I could not even think of getting help. Also, I did not see any older people who demonstrated compassion or wisdom (Later, I would have spiritual elders.)
If I could go back and give counsel to my younger self, I would say, “Gather support.” Seek the help of mental health professionals. Seek appropriate spiritual elders. Develop your own self-renewing activities like meditation, exercise (like walking in nature), good nutrition, and sleep.
About “face the trouble”… I did not deny the pain, suffering, and trouble. I did not put a pretty bow on the trouble and call it “a challenge.” No. It was a painful trauma. I needed to grow, stretch, and endure.
How?
Gather support.
In my circle, people I know step forward and make changes.
One friend had to try four chiropractors before finding one who was a match.
Another friend had to see four doctors before hearing about sinus rinse. The other doctors pushed antibiotics. This friend, with a daily sinus rinse, has avoided sinus infections for 15 years.
Another friend “fired” her psychotherapist. Then, she was truly happy with the next therapist she met and worked with.
So, gathering support may require multiple steps.
What can you do to gather support to help you endure a terrible transition?
2. Realize that you’re losing an identity. And build your new identity.
Sometimes we lose an identity and friends. If you step away from drinking alcohol, you may lose your “boozer friends.”
They may resist you changing your lifestyle for a healthier one.
Some friends that aren’t helping you may drift away. Not always quietly.
They may get angry, or even accusatory. They might even try to sabotage you or make you feel you’re not “cool” or “fun,” anymore. Or say things like, “You can just (____) one more time, right?”
Is some old friend sabotaging your new life?
Sometimes, you just need to get the support you really need, that is, from the Gods.
3. Ask the Gods for support.
What can look like ruin to us, may be a step to the Gods.
You can use this prayer to help you.
Goddess, Help me nurture my inner worth with Your love. God, Give me Your strength to resist temptations that may ruin my path. Gods, guide me and soothe my doubts. So Mote It Be.
When I found Wicca, it was like coming home. A whole new world opened to me. And of course, I discovered the God and the Goddess. Here is something amazing. You have privileges as a witch.
I have four insights for you.
1. You can be close to the God and Goddess
You can communicate and be close to the Gods.
Do you pray? Or do you meditate? Using these tools as a witch we can communicate with the God and Goddess. They are only your next breath away. You can say a prayer now. Something like:
“Goddess, thank You for the comfort you give me now. So Mote It Be.”
What would you like to pray about?
2. You can wield magick for your benefit and all involved.
Ever daydream about a dream job? Want to get a raise or make more money with your own business? In these situations, and more, witches can use magick for their benefit.
I have learned that a combination of magick and taking practical actions in the mundane world makes abundance happen.
What would you like to manifest? What form of spell would you like to do?
3. You can experience community.
You can have a family-by-choice. It is true we can’t choose our family by blood. But we can have a chosen family by making good decisions.
I have learned that aligning with your spiritual family and certain friends can make for strong bonds. Bonds that are more nurturing than many bonds with family by blood.
Who in your life encourages you? Do you want to devote more time to the encouragers in your life?
4. You can avoid being tossed about seeking your personal worth from the human-mundane world.
If you must seek your personal worth from any human, you’re in trouble. Why?
Because human beings have flaws. Many are so self-focused that they have no room for you. Have you ever gone to a parent or sibling for comfort and they just ignored you?
Realize that your true worth is the divinity that the God and Goddess placed within you.
Sure, you can work to accomplish something in the mundane world. But you do not have to earn your worth. You already have a divine nature. It’s something to celebrate!
When we incarnate, it’s like we put on blinders.
When you pray and meditate, you take off the blinders, even for a few moments. You connect with your real worth—your divine worth.
Do you want to add or grow your rituals of prayer or meditation?
“I had to talk to some officials about my father,” my friend, Fred, said. He looked shaken. His elderly father was continuing his violent ways.
“They want me to sign some paperwork. But I don’t know what the hell my father will do next,” Fred continued. Fred’s father had attacked another resident at the facility. The police were called, and Fred’s father had to face a judge. His father was barred from that facility.
Fred was triggered. And why not? His father had physically and emotionally abused Fred as a kid. Until he left home at 17 years old.
Are you triggered now?
I have three insights for you.
1. You need steps to handle being triggered.
Every time Fred talks with his father, the conversation goes bad. So, Fred sets up a phone call with a friend to occur immediately after such a conversation. They talk a bit about the call. But better than that, they shift to talking about something good. Fred is able to make a shift in thoughts and emotions.
Do you have a pattern so you can feel better after some triggering situation?
2. Focus on doing “a shift.”
Sometimes, the way to stop emotional pain is to shift out of a worn pattern. Something triggers a person, and then they go into a negative spiral. Fred calls a friend to do a shift in thoughts and energy. You can also meditate, pray, and/or go for a walk in nature. The idea is that you avoid losing a whole day to feeling bad.
A person can get value by venting during a chosen time. My husband and I take walks together. I remember my husband saying, “I’m going to vent about the problem until we get to that traffic light. Then let’s talk about something else.” That became our signal to do a “shift.”
Do you have a pattern of making a shift?
3. Consider a “Meditative Walk” to help you release pain.
I have learned to take a certain kind of “meditative walk.” It works better with nearby trees.
As you walk you can say something like:
I thank you my friends, the trees, I thank you grass and shrubs. Help me dissipate the negative energy within me. Negative energy flows downward. Out of my feet. Into the ground. Into Mother Earth. Such energy is now harmless. I am clear. I am safe. So Mote It Be!
“Every time, in every phone conversation, my father cuts me down. Every conversation is torture,” my friend, Nicholas, said.
“It sounds like shielding might help you,” I replied.
“I don’t know about that. My father won’t change,” Nicholas said.
“It’s about you. Keeping you strong. Helping you have healthy boundaries,” I said.
Nicholas agreed, and I led him through a shielding meditation.
About a half hour later, Nicholas called me.
“It was so different. Maybe, it was the energy I was expressing,” Nicholas said. “For once, my father and I had an ‘okay’ conversation. And when he started to go off the rails, I said, ‘We have had a good conversation. It’s time for us to complete this. Take care.’” Nicholas then ended the phone conversation with his father.
“That worked!” Nicholas said.
Sometimes, it seems that we, witches, lose our way for a time. It is almost like we need to “keep proving that Wicca works.” For Nicholas, the personal shielding meditation and good results reminded him vividly that Wicca works.
Personal shielding can be a valuable addition to your life.
One of my favorite exercises is to put up The Cosmic Egg Shield.
The Tree of Life Meditation/Cosmic Egg Shield
Meditation Exercise–“The Tree of Life”
Slowly breathe in and out. Breathe in the energy of love and peace (envision this as white energy). Breathe out all stress and negativity (envision this as black smoke). Keep taking deep breaths in and out. Concentrate on the white energy being breathed in and filling up your body with loving energy. Then let go and breathe out the negative energy you see as black smoke. As you do this, release the stresses of the day. Repeat this breathing cycle at least three times until you are comfortable and relaxed.
As your body and mind begin to relax, continue deep breathing and focus on this image:
Envision roots made up of energy sprouting from the bottoms of your feet. With each breath, extend the roots farther and farther down toward Mother Earth.
Extend them down through the floor, down past the plumbing of the house, and down, down deep into Mother Earth’s body. Go down to her core, to the center of her heart.
Once there, with each breath in, pull up the energy from Mother Earth. Breathe out the stress, and breathe in the blue-green energy of Mother Earth.
Pull the energy up through your roots, up past the plumbing of the house, past the floor, and into your feet. The energy feels clean and refreshing.
Breathe in deeply. Pull the blue-green energy up into your legs and past your knees. Pull it up, up into your Root Chakra at the base of your spine. Let it fill your body, going up, up into your Sacral Chakra, and continuing to your Solar Plexus Chakra. Breathing in deeply, draw the energy up into your Heart Chakra. Let the energy flow down your arms and into your hands. Feel your body relax as the energy fills it.
Breathing in, draw the energy up into your Throat Chakra.
Concentrate on the blue-green energy filling your body. When you are ready, with another breath in, breathe the energy up into your Third Eye Chakra.
Using your breath, draw the energy up into your Crown Chakra. Feel the energy flow throughout your body.
With another breath in, pull the energy up and out of your head. The energy forms like branches toward the Sky above you. Continue and let the branches flow up to the universe and out into the cosmos.
Draw down the golden energy of the Sky and universe into you. Continue to let the Sky energy intermingle and mix with the Earth energy that is already there. Pull it down through your body and into your arms.
Continue breathing deeply, mixing and pulling the energies down to your Heart Chakra.
Breathe in again, pulling the energy of the universe down into your Solar Plexus Chakra.
Continue pulling in the energy. Let it flow into you. Pull it into your Root Chakra. Breathing deeply, pull it down your legs and down to your feet.
Feel the energy from both the Earth Mother and the Sky Father that is within you.
Now focus on pulling this mixed energy out from the top of your head once more. But this time let it cascade down all around you like a waterfall until it completely surrounds you.
With a deep breath in, take the energy and push it out in all directions into an egg shape around you. This is the Cosmic Egg of Protection.
Keep breathing and as you do so, push out more and more energy into your egg.
Your egg gets stronger and stronger.
And when you are satisfied with the strength of your egg stop and relax.
In a moment or two, slowly start to pull your branches back within you, pulling them in with each breath.
Let any extra energy dissipate through the roots that you had placed into the Earth from your feet, keeping the egg intact.
Now breathe the roots up, and back into your body just like the branches that were above you. Give yourself over to the total relaxation you now feel.
In a moment or two—and when you are ready—open your eyes.
[Please know that you can record the above meditation and then listen to it later. Or you could invite a friend to read the above script and guide you through the meditation.]
You have now made the Cosmic Egg Shield. This shield will protect you from absorbing negative energy. It will repel any baneful energy thrown at you.
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