“You look frustrated,” my friend, Susan, said. “Got that right,” I replied. “About…?” “I just can’t get in more meditation sessions,” I said.
Later, I reflected on this. So, we hear that improving our lives is just about adding a habit. (As if that were easy.)
Ever put in a new habit and in 47 days—poof!—the habit is gone?
Frustrating, right? What’s the answer?
It’s not just a change of habit. It’s a shift of identity.
Robert Rodriguez, the film director, said that he would throw out his back every time he made a film. He asked Sylvester “Sly” Stallone how he managed to stay strong and athletic. Sly said, “Get a personal trainer.”
But then, Robert had a revelation. Yes, it was good to have the support of a personal trainer. AND, he needed to shift his identity to “athlete.” Then it was about “what does an athlete do?”
We, witches, can choose layers to our identity.
I can choose and say firmly, “I AM a meditator.”
In fact … I’m taking a pause …
Now, I am back.
Guess what I just did?
I did a brief meditation session. Why? “I AM a meditator.”
What identity would you like to add to your practice as a Witch?
Here’s a prayer.
Goddess, show me the way to transformation. Guide my actions on my desired path. So Mote It Be.
Do you feel comfortable to wear a pentacle openly?
A reader asked me a question recently: How do you get a girl to like you if you’re a witch?
I had a thought: Why does it have to be a big deal about being a witch? Why is this question phrased in this way?
My second thought was: The question arrives with “if you’re a witch” because many cultures around the world oppress Wiccans.
The word oppression relates to “prolonged cruel or unjust treatment or control.”
Let’s look at that detail control. A horrible form of control is related to when other people seem to get into your mind and make you doubt your feelings and worth.
Before we go further, here is my answer to that person’s question:
How do you get a girl to like you if you’re a witch?
“Your question brings up a number of subtopics.
I’ll work with a couple of ideas.
a) How do you get anyone to like you if they might be repelled by a false idea?
You may have heard of the idea “be yourself.” Which self are we talking about? The self that has bad breath and a hangover on a Saturday morning? Or the self that you’re proud of. The one that is a good listener. Someone who is respectful, kind and compassionate. The self that is open to learning new ideas and approaches—with each day as a fresh opportunity to grow, learn and be kind.
I’m suggesting that you first express your best self. Be a good listener. Be kind, compassionate and friendly. Show a genuine smile at certain moments. These elements are attractive.
I have a friend who asked this question: “If you deal with clinical depression symptoms, do you tell someone that on the first date?” His answer is no. Because the person hasn’t experienced your good points, and they have no investment in your friendship yet.
When you feel it is appropriate, you might share some part of your spiritual path. Still, be careful because there is a lot of false information about witches in popular culture.
b) How does one use magick to make oneself attractive?
First, my Wiccan elders have emphasized that using magick on anyone without their consent is Wrong—do NOT do it.
However, you can use magick on yourself to remove blocks. You might have endured parental neglect or maybe you suffered heartrending rejection. Therefore, you could do a spell to enhance your personal strength. To be a good friend, you need to have the strength to be a good listener and to share your heart. That’s right—friendship requires us to be strong enough to be vulnerable with the right person.
Prayer for Strength
Lord of the Sun grant me your strength and wisdom to hear what is not said,
and to see what is not shown for my heart is alone. May I feel your strength from above
so I grow and attract life giving love.
May this prayer empower you.”
* * * * * *
As we close this conversation here, I want to emphasize that oppression happens when people are afraid of something or don’t understand something.
Yes—plenty of people retain false ideas about Wicca due to popular culture and to some religious leaders actively spreading false information.
However, we can get to know people one at a time. When they know us as a warm, kind, friendly person, they may be more open to learning who we, Wiccans, are.
Most importantly, stay vigilant about what’s in your own mind.
This reminds me of a quote:
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. – Arthur Schopenhauer