The Down and Dirty about Love Spells


The Down and Dirty About Love Spells

I really like this guy. Can you do a love spell for me? Wiccans are faced with this question a lot.

Love spells can be quite sticky. There’s a right way and a wrong way to approach them.

The Wrong Way to Do a Love Spell

Janet really likes Mark. So she buys a book on love spells from the local book store. She finds one she likes and performs the spell that night on Mark.

The next day she sees Mark. There’s something different about him. Soon he asks Janet for a date. During the date Mark can’t keep his eyes off Janet.

In the next days, Mark can’t get enough of Janet. At first she quite enjoys the attention. He calls every night.

Then he follows her to the gym, grocery store, a movie theater. He shows up at her house unexpectedly, at all hours of the day and night.

Now, every time she sees Mark, Janet jumps, startled.

Janet wanted love; she now has fear.

Do you see what happened? Janet made her own stalker by casting a love spell upon him. Two terrible details arise when you impose a love spell on someone. First, it’s unethical to mess with someone’s free will. Second, one could create a pattern in which a stalker may become violent.

The Right Way to Cast a Love Spell

Ellen hasn’t been on a date in quite a while. At an evening class she attends each week, she likes three guys, but she’s not sure about them.

She wants to find the right fit and someone who truly loves her. So Ellen decides to do a love spell. Ellen first decides to make the love spell about herself—that is, she seeks to become more accepting of love. During her ritual, she writes down what she’d prefer to find in a mate. She asks the Gods to guide her and that special person to meet.

A few days later, a guy named Sam arrives at the evening class. Sam is meeting one of the other three guys who attend the evening class. Sam strikes up a conversation with Ellen. Some days later, Sam asks Ellen out on a date. They really hit it off.

Do you see the difference?

Janet did a love spell on Mark, and such an imposition should never be done.

On the other hand, Ellen did a love spell to make her more accepting of love and to be able to see the one she was looking for. She also asked the Gods to help guide both her and her right match to find each other.

That’s a big difference.

Love Spell

What you will need:

  • Pink candle
  • Rose Oil to dress the candle. (You can make Rose Oil by diluting rose essential oil into olive oil. Make sure it is the therapeutic grade essential oil.)
  • Candle holder for pink candle
  • Loadstone
  • Table for the altar
  • Candles and candleholders for the four directions in the colors that represent each (red for south, blue for west, green for north, yellow for east)
  • Red candle for the God and a green candle for the Goddess. (These candle colors are preferable but not mandatory. You may also use white candles, which represent all colors.)
  • Working candle to represent the element Fire
  • Cup or chalice
  • Athame
  • Pentagram
  • Sword. (If you don’t have one, use an athame to cast the circle.)
  • Incense
  • Censer
  • Dish of salt, preferably sea salt
  • Bowl of water
  • Bell or chime
  • Altar cloth to keep wax and the other things off the table
  • Wine or juice and some sort of cake
  • Lighter
  • Taper (Light the taper by using the working candle. Then use the taper to light the other candles.)

The Basic Circle Script

Note: This script is written for someone who is casting alone.

1) Knock three times on the altar. Ring the bell three times.

2) Use the lighter to ignite the working candle. Place the lighter down on the altar. (The other candles will be lit later when you use the taper.)

3) Light the charcoal (if you are using it) from the working candle. (The incense will placed on the charcoal later.)

4) Take your athame and place its tip into the flame of the working candle. Say:

I exorcise* you o creature of fire. And I consecrate and bless you in the names of the Goddess and the God that you are pure and clean.

(*Note: When we speak of exorcise here, we are purifying the item by driving out any negative energies.)

5) Trace a pentacle (a five-pointed star) in the air above the flame. Pick up the working candle and raise it up above you and imagine the Gods’ energy filling the candle’s flame. Place the candle back on the altar.

6) Take your athame and place its tip into the bowl of water. Say:

I exorcise you, o creature of water. And I consecrate and bless you in the names of the Goddess and the God that you are pure and clean.

7) Using the athame, trace a pentacle in the water. Pick up the bowl of water and raise it up above you and imagine your energy and the Gods’ energy filling the water. Place the bowl back on the altar.

8) Take your athame and place its tip into the salt. Say:

I exorcise you, o creature of salt. And I consecrate and bless you in the names of the Goddess and the God that you are pure and clean.

9) Using the athame, trace a pentacle in the salt. Pick up the bowl of salt and raise it up above you and imagine your energy and the Gods’ energy filling the salt. Place the salt bowl back on the altar.

10) Take your athame and place its tip into the incense. Say:

I exorcise you, o creature of Air. And I consecrate and bless you in the names of the Goddess and the God that you are pure and clean.

11) Using your athame, trace a pentacle in the air above the incense. Pick up the incense and raise it up above you and imagine your energy and the Gods’ energy filling the incense. Place the incense on the lit charcoal.

12) Take your athame and scoop up a blade of the salt. (Or you could your finger.) Place this pinch of salt into the water. Repeat this step two more times. Now, with the athame, mix the salt into the water and finish making consecrated water. With the athame, trace a pentagram over the bowl. Now, pick up the bowl of consecrated water and raise it up above you and imagine your energy and the Gods’ energy filling it.

13) Take the consecrated water (the salt and water mixture) and dip your fingers into it. Dab some of it on your inner wrists and forehead. Say:

I bless myself with Earth and Water.

14) Take the censer filled with the burning incense and wave the smoke over you. Say:

I bless myself with Air and Fire.

15) Take the consecrated water and use your fingers to asperge (sprinkle with consecrated water) the circle. Starting with north and moving clockwise, walk a complete circle around the perimeter, aspersing each corner as you go. When finished, place the bowl back on the altar.

16) Pick up the censer. Use your hand to wave the incense smoke around the circle. Starting with north and moving clockwise, walk a complete circle around the perimeter, waving the smoke as you go. Be careful not to burn yourself or anything else. When finished, place the censer back on the altar.

You have just cleansed the space and yourself. Now let’s continue by casting the circle.

17) Take the athame. Envision energy being channeled from you and coming out the tip of your athame [You point the athame outward, away from you as you create the circle.] Starting with north and moving clockwise, walk a complete circle around the perimeter. As you walk, say:

I conjure you, o circle of power, that you be a boundary between the seen mundane world and the spirit world, that you protect me and contain the magick that I shall raise within you! I consecrate and bless you in the names of the Goddess and the God. So mote it be!

18) Finish at the east quarter (direction).

Now it’s time to “call the quarters.” (This refers to the four directions.)

19) Pick up the athame and the taper from the altar. Light the taper from the working candle. Go and stand in the east corner of where your circle boundary is. Starting with the east candle, say:

I summon, stir, and call you up, o mighty ones of the East, element of Air. Come guard my circle and witness my rite.

20) Trace a pentacle in the air with your athame. Then light the quarter candle for east. Say:

Hail and welcome!

21) Move clockwise to the south candle. Say:

I summon, stir, and call you up, o mighty ones of the South, element of Fire. Come guard my circle and witness my rite.

22) Trace a pentacle in the air with your athame. Then light the quarter candle for south. Say:

Hail and welcome!

23) Move clockwise to the west candle. Say:

I summon, stir, and call you up, o mighty ones of the West, element of Water. Come guard my circle and witness my rite.

24) Trace a pentacle in the air with your athame. Then light the quarter candle for west. Say:

Hail and welcome!

25) Move clockwise to the north candle. Say:

I summon, stir, and call you up, o mighty ones of the North, element of Earth. Come guard my circle and witness my rite.

26) Trace a pentacle in the air with your athame. Then light the quarter candle for north. Say:

Hail and welcome!

27) Return to the altar. Using the taper, light the Goddess candle, saying:

Welcome, my Lady!

28) Using the taper, light the God candle, saying:

Welcome, my Lord!

You have now completed casting your circle.

 The Spell:

Take up the pink candle and sprinkle some of the blessed water on it and say:

You are cleansed by water and earth. 

Next wave the pink candle over the burning incense and say:

I charge and consecrate you by fire and air.

Do the same process with the rose oil and the lodestone.

Next, take your now cleansed and consecrated pink candle and carve your name on it with the word love.

Next dress the candle with the rose oil and say:

Little candle, I name you (your name) you now represent the love I attract to me.

Place the pink candle into the candle holder and place on the pentagram. Put the lodestone at the base of the candle.

Take the taper and light it from the working candle and light the pink candle saying:

I am love and love comes to me.

As the candle burns sit and concentrate on the candle flame, seeing love flowing in the form of light. When the candle has burned halfway down, take the candle and drop three drops of wax on the lodestone. Return the candle to its original place.

Continue to see the love radiating from the candle, and now also see the lodestone pulling love to you.

Watch the candle until it burns completely out. Carry the stone with you to help attract love to you.

Cakes and Wine Ceremony

After any ritual, it is important to replenish and ground your energy. Begin with wine or juice.

1) Take the cup from your altar and pour the wine or juice into it. Then take the athame and dip its tip into the wine or juice. Say:

As the athame is to the male, so the cup is to the female, and so joined bring union and harmony.

2) Pour some of your blessed wine or juice into the offering bowl or plate on your altar. Say:

To the Gods!

You can now partake of the beverage.

3) Take your athame and point it over the cake. Say:

Blessed be these cakes that they bestow health, peace, joy, strength, and that fulfillment of love that is perpetual happiness. 

4) Take one of the cakes (or just a piece) and place it in the offering bowl or plate. Say:

To the Gods!

You can now partake of the blessed cakes.

So, what do you do with the blessed offerings in the offering dishes? You certainly don’t just throw it into the garbage! They are gifts to the Gods. Take them outside to your garden where you can leave it on the ground to help nourish the Earth.

If you do not have a garden at your home, you can take the offerings out into the woods and leave them there. Some Wiccans who live in the city set the blessed offering out on their porch for local animals to partake. Be sure to only leave biodegradable food. Avoid wrappers or containers that will not decompose.

Closing Circle

It is very important to dismiss the energies you have called for your circle. Be sure to take down the magick temple (the circle) you erected. And certainly, dismiss the quarters!

To close your circle:

1) Take your athame and hold it up and stand facing the east. Say:

Hail mighty ones of the East, the element of Air. I thank you for guarding my circle and witnessing my rite. May you depart to your fair and lovely realms. I bid you hail and farewell. 

2) Trace a pentacle in the air with your athame.

3) Continuing, moving in a clockwise circle, stand facing the south. Say:

Hail mighty ones of the South, the element of Fire. I thank you for guarding my circle and witnessing my rite. May you depart to your fair and lovely realms. I bid you hail and farewell!

4) Trace a pentacle in the air with your athame.

5) Moving clockwise around the circle, stand facing west. Say:

Hail mighty ones of the West, the element of Water. I thank you for guarding my circle and witnessing my rite. May you depart to your fair and lovely realms. I bid you hail and farewell!

6) Trace a pentacle in the air with your athame.

7) Moving clockwise around the circle, stand facing north. Say:

Hail mighty ones of the North, the element of Earth. I thank you for guarding my circle and witnessing my rite. May you depart to your fair and lovely realms. I bid you hail and farewell!

8) Trace a pentacle in the air with your athame.

9) Return again to face east. While walking the boundary of the circle, say:

Fire seal the circle round,
Let it fade beneath the ground,
Let all things be as they once were before.
The circle is now no more,
Merry meet, merry part,
And merry meet again!
So mote it be!

In the post, I have shared with you the wrong way and the right way for doing a love spell. Take care in how you go about doing a love spell.

A proper love spell will build you up and attract the right match for you.

[If you’re interested in prosperity spells and other spells, please see my book The Hidden Children of the Goddess and Beyond the Law of Attraction to Real Magic: How You Can Remove Blocks to Prosperity, Happiness and Inner Peace.]


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How does the Goddess view you?

Hands of different color


How does the Goddess view you?

Do you imagine She looks on you with favor and kindness?

There’s another question: How do we look at ourselves?

This jumped into my consciousness when I was recently watching ABC World News with Diane Sawyer.

One story shook me up. It was the updated results of the Doll Test. What is the Doll Test?

In the 1940’s, Drs. Kenneth and Mamie Clark gathered young children for a research study. They placed two dolls (one Caucasian and the other African-American) in front of each child. The researchers asked, “Which doll is the nicest?” [The only difference was skin color otherwise the dolls were identical.]

The startling results included African-American children choosing the white doll as “nicest.” They rejected the black doll as “bad” or “ugly.” 63% of the African-American children said that they would rather play with the white doll.

Many of us might dismiss this result as part of the “unenlightened 1940s.”

In 2009, ABC World News redid the experiment. 88% of the 19 children of color surveyed identified with the black doll.

However, still in 2009, with President Barack Obama in the White House, 47% of the black and brown girls said that the “pretty doll” was white.

This “doll test” process was repeated again in April 2014 and the brown and black girls were asked, “Which doll do you want to take home?”–and the girls got into a tug of war over a blond, white doll!


Since I’m Caucasian, I cannot know what it is like to live as a person of color. Still, I’m concerned. I believe that the Goddess comes in all shapes, shades and sizes. They are all beautiful.

For more insight, I asked my friend Crystal Blanton to share her thoughts:



“The influence of racism on black and brown people in this country does not just stop at adults, but also children who are influenced by the over culture without the adequate critical thinking skills or experience to process it. The conditioning that happens for those who are Black in this country goes back for generations, and continues to influence the way that Black culture is created, and how Black people see themselves in relation with the rest of the world. Standards of pale skin, long straight hair, and thin bodies as the definition of beauty are all around us and this influences us from the time that a child can formulate what it is to be a person. Not only is this trans-generational trauma passed on through the lineage, but we are also subjected to it within the media, and mainstream culture.

I am not sure what the Goddess would say to someone who feels less due to the color of their skin. I think this largely depends on the Goddess herself, and the depiction of the Goddess. Most of our mainstream Goddesses are also Caucasian, and do not reflect the black and brown either. If I were talking about the greater spirit of the Goddess, regardless of archetype and pantheon, I would say that she would be concerned with the implications that anyone feels inferior due to characteristics that they are born with. I also think though that she would encourage strength through the challenge and not to take that away. I believe that we, Black people, are often stronger in our resolve because of what we have walked through, and I think that is a part of the Goddess’s plan.

I don’t think that Wicca addresses racism. Some Wiccans and Pagans are doing a lot of work to bring racism into the conversation on a conscious level, so that we can use that awareness to combat it. But I think that the foundation and structure of Wicca itself was fashioned as a Eurocentric construct without the consideration that multicultural, or multifaceted individuals would be a part of this spiritual path. I think it is one of the roadblocks that we need to continue to discuss in our community as a whole.”

I agree with Crystal that having the conversation about supporting all of us—all of us beautiful people with various colors, sizes and characteristics—is important.

Frequently, in current news, there is a group of people who say that we are in a “post-racial” world in the United States. (By the way, those voicing the opinion are NOT people of color.) They imply that no consideration be shown for people dealing with inequities due to color and ethnicity.

However, when I talk with my friends and my sweetheart (who is a person of color), they say that they have all experienced different treatment due to their skin color. They disagree strongly that the United States is “completely enlightened” at this time.

Let’s keep the conversation going.


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Is it Time to Let Go or Time to Hold Fast?




Is it Time to Let Go or Time to Hold Fast?


Cleo, my cat, looked up at me. At 14 years old, Cleo needed me to give her intravenous fluids to sustain her. One night while I was administering her daily fluids she simply looked into my eyes and told me, I’ve had enough, I’m done.

I just knew. Other times, I’ve wrestled with the decision of when it was time to let go of my beloved pet.

Now, I’ve had cats my whole life. In high school, I was introduced to domesticated, pet rats. These little furry friends have terribly short life spans. I’d have four at the same time, and this meant crying every year as one of them would become ill due to old age. I had many times to practice letting go.

I have spent thousands of dollars for medical care for my fuzzy babies. But how does one know when to let go?

If a pet or familiar is close to crossing the veil, when is it truly time to let go?
First listen to your little friend. Here are some signs to help you consider when to let go.

• Is your furry companion still interested in life?
• Does your companion still enjoy eating?
• Does he/she still play in spite of the illness or disease?
• Is the little one in tremendous pain that prevents him/her from being happy?

Now I’m not talking about temporary illness. This is about the end of a life—a terminal illness.

Recently, on Facebook, people discussed the condition of Blacky, The Wheelchair Cat.
A native of New Zealand, he has one eye, and after being struck by a car, he’s left with spinal nerve damage and paralysis in his rear legs and bladder.

A number of people suggested that Blacky be “put down.”

But wait a moment! Blacky can now feel his legs if one tickles them. Sometimes he moves or stands on them. Last year, he had a perianal urethrostomy surgery because of  his bladder problems.

Still, Blacky enjoys life. He enjoys going outside and playing. Other than his mobility issue, Blacky’s now healthy.

In summary, I invite you to look at my list and let it help you make a good decision about whether it may be time to let a pet go.

Sure, sometimes our pets have physical troubles. But you’ve probably noticed the we, humans, can have physical troubles, too. Still, we find ways to have joy and meaning.

Let’s make sure to support our furry friends in their times of need.



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House Gods


House Gods

When my friend Janet introduced me to her House Goddess, “Phyllis,” I was immediately intrigued. How would it feel to have a spiritual being watching over your home and protecting you and your loved ones?

Many cultures focus on House Gods who protect the home in some form. There’s Cofgodas in Anglo-Saxon Paganism and Gasin in Korea. Lares, from ancient Rome, protects the home.

Some House Gods just take care of certain rooms. Others oversee certain activities done in a particular room.

My House God’s name is Timmy. That’s unusual in that House Gods tend to be female. Timmy protects my home and my loved ones who reside there. Like a divine watch dog, he keeps mischief at bay. He keeps us safe from negative entities who may wander by.

Many readers may want to invite a House God into their home.

Good news! They’re most likely already there.

So how do you entice your House God to take his or her job more seriously?

Make them offerings, of course.

Here is how I began my relationship with Timmy.

I got a statue that I liked. (House Gods tend to take residence in an object.) I found mine at the Northern California Renaissance Pleasure Fair but you can find your object anywhere.

My statue is also a candle holder, which is a plus for offering candles. And it has the added coolness that the cat eyes glow when you place the candle in the statue.

I placed the statue in a prominent place in my home and then asked that the House God come forward. I invited Timmy to protect my home and all my loved ones who reside in it. And in turn I would honor him by offering him this statue, and I would give him candles with my thanks.

I lit the candle and asked him if this was acceptable. I said, “If you agree, please blink to confirm your answer is ‘yes.’” He “blinked” by flickering the fire. That’s how our conversation began.

When you start a relationship with your House God, he or she will diligently continue with the protection job. Just make sure to give him or her offerings to say thank you.

Do you already have a House God? Tell me about your experiences in the comments section below.


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Time for a Wiccan’s Familiar?



Time for a Wiccan’s Familiar?

About three years ago, a particular witch held a ritual in the woods each weekend. To her delight, a certain deer joined her each time. When I heard about this, I realized one can have a wild animal as a familiar–an animal, usually a pet, that helps the witch.

At one point, I was in a Wiccan learning group gathered in the woods and an owl joined us. Animals sense energy which makes them good working partners.

Animals are so proficient at using energy that they can literally move in and out of a closed circle and not harm or break that circle. So when your familiar moves across the boundary of your cast circle don’t worry, they won’t hurt it.

Small children can also cross your circle’s boundary without disturbing it. It’s only when we get older that we become unable to do that. The reason? Society teaches us to limit ourselves and so we unconsciously do so.

On the other hand, familiars do not have that burden. They can move and work energy in ways that many of us cannot. This is why witches and other magick users like to have a familiar.

However, don’t just run to an animal shelter and pick any animal and assume that the little one will be your familiar. An animal must choose to do so. If your little friend does not make that choice of being a familiar, you can just enjoy the company of your pet in ordinary life.

So how can I tell if my pet or an animal wants to be my familiar? Observe: Does the animal want to hang around you as you do a ritual? When you ground and center does your cat (for example) come and sit, to support you.

If you observe a particular animal in the wild repeatedly show up during your rituals, pause. Ask yourself, “Does this one want to be my familiar or is this just a random visit?” (Note: This does not mean that you go over and pet the animal. They do not want that.)

Sometimes, you may discover that this particular animal is quietly acting as a familiar for you.

Note: Never try to force an animal to work with you. If you have a pet, but the little one just strolls away when you’re doing a ritual, let it go. Just love your pet for the other joyful moments you share. You do not need a familiar.

If you, at some time, find an animal that wants to work with you, it can be quite rewarding. Not only will your spells and other workings be more powerful, but you will also have a great friend by your side.

What a joyful experience.



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How to Heal by Separating Yourself Spiritually from a Bad Relationship

Magick Spellwork

Magick Spellwork

How to Heal by Separating Yourself Spiritually

from a Bad Relationship

We’ve all been in a bad relationship at some time in our lives. Whether it is a family problem or ex-lovers or a friendship that just plain went sour. So how do we spiritually separate ourselves from these poisonous people?

You can use many different ways to accomplish this. However, the first and foremost thing to do is to verbally end the relationship. You might say something like: “I don’t think this is healthy for us. So let’s just stop seeing each other.”

Second, physically stay away from the person. The idea is to stop spiritually ingesting the poison of interacting with them.

Many people hesitate to do the first two steps. For many, true change is quite difficult. I can relate to this. And, I’m providing the below ritual for when you’re truly ready to move on with your life.

Now, it’s time to use what I call the Separation Ritual. This ritual involves disconnecting the astral connections that you and the person made during the relationship.

Unless you take action, you stay connected to the person. How? Your astral bodies remain connected. Negative energy can still be transferred both ways. To protect yourself from these bad energies you must cut all ties from that person. This is where the Separation Ritual comes in.

Ideally, the person would participate in a Separation Ritual with you. That often does not happen. So you take an object that will stand in for the person. This object could be a picture or even a teddy bear, if the person likes teddy bears.

Use a length of yarn or piece of red string, which represents the connections you have between you and the toxic person. Red is for the life force but you can uses another color if you think that would be a better representation.

For this ritual you’ll need both your athame (to cast your circle) and a boline, which is a white handle knife used specifically for cutting physical objects during ritual.

Important: Athames are used to cut energy. Bolines are used to cut physical objects.

Here are the steps of True Separation:

  1. Verbally end the relationship
  2. Stay away from the person.
  3. Ground yourself.
  4. Cast circle.
  5. Do the Separation Ritual (see below).
  6. Do the Cakes and Wine ritual.
  7. Close the circle.
  8. Finally continue to have no contact with the toxic person.

You will need your usual ritual items to cast circle and your altar. As I mentioned you will also have a length of yarn or piece of red string. The yarn/string must be long enough to encircle your own waist and to encircle the object (that represents the toxic person).

The Separation Ritual

Take the object. First, your will asperge it. Asperge means to sprinkle the holy water with your fingers onto the object.

With the holy water, asperge and say:

I cleanse and consecrate you by water and earth.

Next you will cense the object. Cense means to waft incense smoke over the object.

With the incense smoke, cense and say:

I bless and charge you with air and fire.

Then take the string/yarn and cense and asperge it as well and say:

I cleanse and consecrate you by water and earth.

I bless and charge you with air and fire.

Take the red string/yarn in your hands saying:

Tiny bundle of String/yarn

You are now the same as the bonds between me and Name of person.

Tie one end of the string/yarn to the object and then encircle your waist with the other end of the string/yarn, while you say:

You are the bonds that connect us now.

From me to Name of person and from Name of person to me.

Our connection is by thee.


Sit and concentrate on the bond between you both and see it as the string/yarn that now connects you and the object. Once you have a firm connection with that thought, take the boline and cut the string/yarn, seeing in your mind’s eye the astral bonds being cut along with the string/yarn.

Once you complete the cut, say:

I am now free of the ties of Name of person as he/she is of me.

May my happiness expand, and may Name of person’s happiness expand.

Blessed be.

Finish up with the cakes and wine part of the ritual and then close the circle.

And you’re done.

Separating ourselves from toxic people is important for our happiness and well being. It even blesses the life of the other person. You are doing yourself and the other person a favor.

I trust that this ritual will help you be happier and healthier.