“I’ve reached the end of my rope,” my friend, Rhonda, said. “I can’t bend anymore. I can’t take any more.”
I nodded.
I saw it in Rhonda’s eyes. She knew that I understood.
That’s because she knew my story. During my first marriage, I told my husband that we needed to have food in the house. But he didn’t care. He took care of himself by buying fast food. And overspending on his own video games.
That, plus more details, inspired me to go for a real boundary of “I’m not going to live like this.” I filed for divorce. One of my best decisions.
I have insights for you.
1. State your boundary. Make it brief. Say, “I need this.”
During my first marriage, I would try to “make my case.” He did not listen. He did not care. Instead, I’ve learned to say, “I need this walkway clear.”
That’s the full thought.
I don’t need to plead and have to justify what I need.
I have worth as a human being. The Gods placed divinity within me. And within you.
“Live your earthly life fully, but try to see the spiritual aspects of your activities as well. Remember—the physical and spiritual are but reflections of each other.” – Scott Cunningham
2. Realize that your boundary mirrors boundaries in nature.
“We cannot and must not give love to others before we have respect and love for ourselves.” – Scott Cunningham
Realize that the Goddess wants your well-being.
I remember that the bark of a Redwood Tree is highly fire-resistant.
The bark protects the tree’s core. Redwoods can survive all but the most extreme fires.
Again, we, witches, learn from nature.
Maintain a good and strong boundary.
You, like the glorious Redwood Tree, are loved and valued by the God and Goddess.
Here is a prayer you can use.
Gods, Surround me with your protection, Like the mother bear who protects her young, Or the lion who protects his pride. Here me now, and surround me with your protection on this Day/Night! So Mote It Be!
“My sister just won’t stop for a minute to hear me out,” Milly, a new acquaintance, said.
“She has all these judgments about me and my faith. She doesn’t see me as a person. It’s like she’s talking to her projection of what she thinks I might be.”
I reflected on this.
Here are two insights that might help you.
1. You push, and they push back.
Ever try to explain your faith to someone? And, they just push back. Telling you that you’re wrong and that they know—better than you—what your spiritual path is.
Arrogant, right?
You push facts, and they push fiction. But what does the pushing get? Nothing good.
2. Invite the Gods to help you lower your “intensity.”
Have you noticed that when someone says unfair and ignorant things against you, it’s your internal “intensity” that rises?
Here is a prayer that you can use to help you lower your intensity.
I breathe in and bring in the love of the Gods. I breathe out and let go of my anxiety. I breathe in and bring in clarity. I breathe out and let go of my intensity. I breathe in calm. I breathe out and let go of my intensity. I breathe in peace within my integrity. I breathe out and let go of my intensity. May the Gods bless me. So Mote It Be
“That’s it. I’m done!” That’s what I want to say about the depression symptoms I deal with.
If you have clinical depression, you may have heard a therapist say that “depression is defined as a low mood or loss of pleasure or interest in activities for long periods of time. This is different from regular mood changes and feelings about everyday life.”
However, one day, an idea, like a bright light, bloomed in my mind.
“My depression symptoms give me compassion for others. When someone is going through pain, I can understand. Because I go through that every day.”
I experience suffering, and I can empathize with and understand some form of how others feel. This means that I often listen well to people who express their feelings.
Each person’s journey is different. And yet, we all go through some versions of pain.
I have three insights for you.
1. The power is in the question.
If you’re stuck in a rigid mindset, you may miss out.
So, what is the question that illuminates your life?
This question is: How are you not honoring the divinity the Gods placed in you?
Depression symptoms want me to stay in bed and suffer.
But that would not honor the Gods, my husband, my parents, or my friends. So, I get out of bed.
And, sometimes earlier because my cat, Magick, swats me on the forehead. “Get Up!”
He needs his insulin shot and food. But that’s not his order of priority.
How can you honor the Gods by choosing different actions to take?
2. Honoring is to use the gifts you have been given.
What gifts have the Gods given you? Perhaps, you’re suffering right now. Blessings to you.
And…
You’re likely reading this. So, you can see. How can you honor the gift of seeing? See something beautiful. Visit with a friend. See their face.
You can think. Honor the Gods by thinking of something kind you can do for another human being…or pet…
How can you act to fulfill your gifts given by the Gods?
3. Ask the Goddess for insight and energy.
Here is a prayer you can use.
Lovely Lady, Give me the Element Fire’s energy and passion, Give me the wisdom of Air, to know who I am. Wrap me in the flow of Water’s intuition, With Earth’s strong foundation of Your grace. So Mote It Be.
“I had to talk to some officials about my father,” my friend, Fred, said. He looked shaken. His elderly father was continuing his violent ways.
“They want me to sign some paperwork. But I don’t know what the hell my father will do next,” Fred continued. Fred’s father had attacked another resident at the facility. The police were called, and Fred’s father had to face a judge. His father was barred from that facility.
Fred was triggered. And why not? His father had physically and emotionally abused Fred as a kid. Until he left home at 17 years old.
Are you triggered now?
I have three insights for you.
1. You need steps to handle being triggered.
Every time Fred talks with his father, the conversation goes bad. So, Fred sets up a phone call with a friend to occur immediately after such a conversation. They talk a bit about the call. But better than that, they shift to talking about something good. Fred is able to make a shift in thoughts and emotions.
Do you have a pattern so you can feel better after some triggering situation?
2. Focus on doing “a shift.”
Sometimes, the way to stop emotional pain is to shift out of a worn pattern. Something triggers a person, and then they go into a negative spiral. Fred calls a friend to do a shift in thoughts and energy. You can also meditate, pray, and/or go for a walk in nature. The idea is that you avoid losing a whole day to feeling bad.
A person can get value by venting during a chosen time. My husband and I take walks together. I remember my husband saying, “I’m going to vent about the problem until we get to that traffic light. Then let’s talk about something else.” That became our signal to do a “shift.”
Do you have a pattern of making a shift?
3. Consider a “Meditative Walk” to help you release pain.
I have learned to take a certain kind of “meditative walk.” It works better with nearby trees.
As you walk you can say something like:
I thank you my friends, the trees, I thank you grass and shrubs. Help me dissipate the negative energy within me. Negative energy flows downward. Out of my feet. Into the ground. Into Mother Earth. Such energy is now harmless. I am clear. I am safe. So Mote It Be!
My boyfriend broke through the door to find me on the floor, a blade in one hand, a wound on my arm, and my blood on the floor. I had cut myself, as a way to relieve my emotional pain. This is called self-injury.
Minutes later, he told me, “I can endure a lot. But the cutting, I can’t take that.”
In the next days, I realized what was at stake. The love of my life told me the truth.
I resolved to eliminate cutting-behavior from my life. Through a struggle, I did remove the cutting-behavior out of our lives.
My boyfriend (now husband) and I are together for more than 20 years.
I share this story because I know that healing and hope are real.
I have three insights for you:
Learn to be a source of light.
As we struggle through life, we witches notice it’s not easier just because of our spiritual path. Many of us talk about how life as a witch can be tougher.
During moments of struggle, it’s hard to shine while we feel alone and in the darkness.
To be a source of light, we must turn and face the light—the divinity the Gods placed within us. From this place of knowing, we can remember that our struggle may be a possible source of inspiration to someone else in the future. One day, the phrase: Your fight may be someone’s light appeared in my consciousness. This became part of my process to create a course called Spiritual Solution for Depression Relief.
I felt part of my emotional burden ease off as I realized that I had a purpose. My lessons in dealing with depression symptoms could be used to support others facing hard times with depression and pain.
As I worked on the online course with my editor, I felt my light grow with every audio recording and edited video.
In the years of writing 9 books, recording podcast episodes, and creating online courses, I’ve learned that my inner divinity was needed to light up dark places.
What are dark places in your experience, and how might you express your own creativity?
Know your purpose.
Many people want to know their purpose. Some people spend years yearning to know the answer.
So how do we find our purpose? Ask and observe. You can ask the Gods.
You can observe what gives you joy. What gifts have you been given? I’ve noticed that the intersection of gifts and joy can be one indication of something that is purpose-focused in your life.
What brings you joy? What are your gifts? How can you bring these together?
Ask the Gods for guidance.
Here is an essential part of the path of the witch: Ask the Gods for guidance on your purpose and how you can be a light for others.
Many of us, witches, serve as healers, supporters for helping others find their truth, and activists for worthy causes.
Consider having a regular meditation practice. Some witches choose the Tarot or another form of divination to seek possible answers from the God and Goddess.
Let’s return to the phrase: Your fight may be someone’s light. Witches, as healers, often help people by providing support and comfort.
“It feels like I’ll never shake off this horrible, low feeling,” my friend, Melissa, said.
We were in the middle of a conversation about depression symptoms. I have worked for years to cope with my own clinical depression symptoms. I’ve learned you can live a good life even with such symptoms.
Research Shows that Helping Someone Can Lift Much of Depression Symptoms.
Why?
I’ve experienced certain benefits, which quiet down my depression symptoms.
Benefits of Helping
You realize …
You have value
For example, when I help someone, I feel as though I have a purpose. I feel like I can make a difference in someone else’s life—that I can be a valued part of the community.
You have relieved suffering for someone else
Sometimes, when you just listen, you’re relieving someone’s suffering. You’re providing space so the other person can unburden themselves.
Your attention shifts away from your suffering, and it is now on the task at hand—to help this person
Pause for a moment. Why do many of us like movies and TV shows? Because we can unplug from our own problems and disappear into the fictional world of the film or TV show.
When you help someone, you’re plugging into another person’s world.
A Bonus: Research shows that helping other people relieves the helper of vague guilt-feelings.
How Do We, Wiccans, Invite the Gracious Goddess to Guide Us related to Helping?
For many of us, the questions are: Who do I help? What would be something good for me to do?
The Gracious Goddess can help with you finding answers.
You can call on Her just before you go into a meditation session.
Here’s a Prayer to Give You Strength to Help Someone
Gracious Goddess, give me strength to lend aid, To those who feel downtrodden and afraid. Gracious Goddess, open my heart up wide, Let me see the truth inside. Blessings I give, and those bestowed, Now dry all the tears that have flowed. Let my deeds help those in need, Gracious Goddess, help plant that seed. As I So Will So Mote It Be.
May these ideas and practices give you real support.
I’ve learned a lot about the process of dealing with significant health situations. I’ve learned to drop 50 lbs.* so I have avoided going down the diabetes path on which my mother struggles.
I am doing well in working with asthma and clinical depression symptoms.
Here are some things I’ve discovered along the way …
Recognize what you get from the physical illness
“What do you mean, what I get from the physical illness?” my friend, Penny, asked. “I am forced to be stuck in my bed. I’m in pain.”
I nodded. I remained quiet. She would see it, or she wouldn’t.
“Oh … If I’m sick, I don’t have to go back to my parents’ house for Christmas,” she said. Considering the abuse she endured, her body seemed to have given her the only “correct excuse” for not going back to her parents’ home like “a good girl.”
Every situation is unique. This depends on the individual and their situation. For example, I take appropriate medications for my medical issues. Look to get support from medical professionals and mental health professionals as needed.
How does this relate to us, Wiccans? If you’re not listening to your body, you might have trouble listening to the Goddess. What does this mean? Look at the whole situation. Do you need to devote significant effort or attention to your health? Is it time for you to stop toxic situations in your life? Sometimes, it’s as if your body says, “Wake up. This way of living is not good for you.”
I suggest that you take a whole-life view of health and wellness.
Willpower is a lie.
This comment sounds extreme. How many times have you heard someone say, “I just have to have the willpower to stop ____?”
If you think willpower is simply a matter of gritting your teeth, clasping your hands together and saying, “No! I won’t do it!”—you might have a bumpy ride.
My own husband hides cookies out of his sight (in a cupboard). Why? Because it’s easy for a person to fall into a habit of “see cookie—eat cookie.”
He’s not trying to rely on “willpower.” Instead, he’s using a strategy.
I know from personal experience that simply setting up “rules” for a diet can result in failure. You make up rules, sometimes impossible rules, to live by.
And when we don’t live up to those rules, we get mad at ourselves. This approach to willpower does not work.
What does this mean for us, Wiccans? Let’s move beyond trying to use willpower to make sure that we do a ritual or be active with the Craft. Instead, aim for making ritual an organic part of your daily life. Perhaps, you’ll do a ritual in the first 15 minutes after dinner (This is similar to how my husband and I have a routine of going for a walk after dinner.)
Do you want it bad enough? – Why?
I note two types of want – 1) Want to manifest something and 2) Want to throw out something.
How deep is your want? This relates to how we Wiccans manifest things via magick. We need a powerful desire to manifest what we want.
If you do not have the deep, powerful emotional connection, your spell is likely to fail. That’s harsh to know. Still, this knowledge can empower you.
When you do a ritual, be sure to tap into your Deep Want.
Here are examples:
I want to be healthy so I can enjoy years with a new romantic partner
I want to be healthy so I can avoid diabetes that runs in my family
I want to be able to move, so I do NOT run out of breath going up a flight of stairs*
In summary, take a whole-life view of your health and wellness.
We, Wiccans, are fortunate in that we can integrate our spirituality with our being healthy on the earthly plane.
Blessed Be,
Moonwater
*P.S. I mentioned how I dropped 50 lbs. If you are called to lose weight, take my online course Goddess Style Weight Loss—which is available Jan. 2019. Sign up at GoddessStyleWeightLoss.com
“Why is it getting worse?” my friend, Stephanie, said.
“I know there’s a lot happening. Anything in particular?” I replied.
“More violence in this country!” Stephanie said. And, this began a significant conversation.
What if Goddess Serves as Your Source of Certainty?
Is it possible to be certain of anything, anymore? Some people complain, “Unbelievable. I could not even imagine that people in leadership positions would be so … disgusting.”
I’ve learned that there is value in seeing ourselves as “spiritual beings having a human experience.”
As many of you know, I believe in the Summerlands, a place of love and peace in between the times we incarnate. We return and incarnate into a new body, and the lessons begin. We use our bodies as a user-interface for our spiritual being to learn lessons on this physical plane.
I realize that it can be tough to see this spiritual level when we’re in the midst of suffering and confusion. It’s as if we’re wearing “human-tinted glasses.” I suggest that we pause and consider looking at our lives from Goddess’s perspective. Goddess knows.
A Source of Comfort
Sometimes, I return to The Charge of the Goddess for inspiration and comfort.
“Let my worship be within the heart that rejoiceth, for behold: all acts of love and pleasure are my rituals. And therefore, let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, honor and humility, mirth and reverence within you.” – Doreen Valiente (speaking in the voice of the Goddess—from The Charge of the Goddess)
A couple of meanings rise up for me with the above quote.
Notice the phrase “all acts of love and pleasure are my rituals,” and see that the Goddess gives us the answer. We can derive comfort in honoring Her with our compassion, reverence, humility and more. Acts of kindness and beauty honor the Goddess and make us feel good.
A Prayer
Dear Goddess Release me from my stale, limited beliefs And give me compassion and mirth in heaps. Acts of love and Acts of pleasure. I honor You in this way forever.
May the ideas expressed here comfort you and invite you to listen to your heart. May compassion for others flourish in your heart.
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