It happened again. I thought about something I regretted. It looked like I wouldn’t get sleep. Then I shifted my thoughts. I brought an image to my sleep-deprived mind. I am floating in the ocean. Peaceful. The waves softly flow. The Ocean is Goddess.
Eventually, I fall asleep.
Later, I reflected on this.
Here are two definitions:
“Regret is an emotion. It’s a negative emotion in that it’s an emotion that makes us feel worse, not better. And it’s an emotion that’s triggered when we think of something from our past and wish we had done something differently, done something in a different way, not done something, taken an action, not taken an action.” – Daniel Pink
“Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.” – Brené Brown
Whoa! Stop!
Goddess put divinity within us. We ARE worthy of love and belonging. We belong to the Goddess.
I remember this quote:
“Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better.” – Maya Angelou
So I need to shift from regret to reflecting on what I may want to do differently in the future.
Here’s a prayer you can use.
Goddess, Let Your waters of love caress and flow within and without me. Let my shame and regret be washed from my mind, body, and soul. Soothe me, nourish me, and heal me. So Mote It Be.
“Wow. Sharon made the situation about her. I don’t think she even heard me,” Alicia, a friend said—about Sharon, a spiritual elder.
I’ve noticed that Spiritual Elders have a choice: “talk from your history” or “be present.”
Here are two points.
1. Continue to refocus “back to the present.”
“For behold, I am the Mother of All Things…. For I am the Soul of Nature who giveth life to the universe.” – The Goddess in The Charge of the Goddess, as written by Doreen Valiente
What does an attentive mother do? She asks, “Where does it hurt? What do you need?”
You’re staying present is a gift to the other person.
Do you stay present, or are you just waiting to push your point on the other person?
2. Notice if you’re talking from your history.
When I say, “a big dog,” where did your mind go? My mind goes back to a pack of dogs that I encountered as a 7-year-old girl. 8 dogs. One little girl. And terror.
I still hold fear from that time.
But what does that fear do? It takes me out of this present moment.
Let’s say I visit a new friend, and she has a golden retriever. A friendly being. But I’m shaking due to being triggered by the past.
Now, nothing is invalid about my talking about my past life.
But that does not mean it is relevant to the person I talk to today.
I once heard the author Tom Marcoux say, “New variables may invalidate past experience.”
I can learn more about dogs.
I can pay attention in the moment to the person who is speaking.
And, a spiritual elder can hold a sacred trust of “being present” with the person.
Here is a prayer:
Blessed Mother, Give me the sight of this Present Moment. Free me of past fear and the echoes of past traumas. I show up in service to the person with me. So Mote It Be.
“I just felt like a weak failure,” I told a friend recently. “I have trouble crying because I don’t want to show weakness. I’m afraid of showing weakness.”
Have you heard someone tell you, “You have to have a thick skin”?
People say that one is too sensitive to criticism. So, supposedly, having a “thick skin” is like being courageous. You’re supposed to do more and do better.
But wait a damn minute. What about those “energy vampires” who consciously cut us down? It’s not about having a thick skin. It’s about someone draining our energy.
Without enough energy, you don’t have the capacity to stand strong. I’ve seen myself, because of depression symptoms, being stuck. Paralyzed to do something simple. Why? No energy.
Do you relate to this?
I have three insights for you.
1. Keep your shield strong so they can’t take your energy.
Here is a process so you can keep your shield strong.
The Tree of Life Meditation/Cosmic Egg Shield
Meditation Exercise – “The Tree of Life”
Slowly breathe in and out. Breathe in the energy of love and peace (envision this as white energy). Breathe out all stress and negativity (envision this as black smoke). Keep taking deep breaths in and out. Concentrate on the white energy being breathed in and filling up your body with loving energy. Then let go and breathe out the negative energy you see as black smoke. As you do this, release the stresses of the day. Repeat this breathing cycle at least three times until you are comfortable and relaxed.
As your body and mind begin to relax, continue deep breathing and focus on this image:
Envision roots made up of energy sprouting from the bottoms of your feet. With each breath, extend the roots farther and farther down toward Mother Earth.
Extend them down through the floor, down past the plumbing of the house, and down, down deep into Mother Earth’s body. Go down to her core, to the center of her heart.
Once there, with each breath in, pull up the energy from Mother Earth. Breathe out the stress and breathe in the blue-green energy of Mother Earth.
Pull the energy up through your roots, up past the plumbing of the house, past the floor, and into your feet. The energy feels clean and refreshing.
Breathe in deeply. Pull the blue-green energy up into your legs and past your knees. Pull it up, up into your Root Chakra at the base of your spine. Let it fill your body, going up, up into your Sacral Chakra, and continuing to your Solar Plexus Chakra. Breathing in deeply, draw the energy up into your Heart Chakra. Let the energy flow down your arms and into your hands. Feel your body relax as the energy fills it.
Breathing in, draw the energy up into your Throat Chakra.
Concentrate on the blue-green energy filling your body. When you are ready, with another breath in, breathe the energy up into your Third Eye Chakra.
Using your breath, draw the energy up into your Crown Chakra. Feel the energy flow throughout your body.
With another breath in, pull the energy up and out of your head. The energy forms like branches toward the Sky above you. Continue and let the branches flow up to the universe and out into the cosmos.
Draw down the golden energy of the Sky and universe into you. Continue to let the Sky energy intermingle and mix with the Earth energy that is already there. Pull it down through your body and into your arms.
Continue breathing deeply, mixing and pulling the energies down to your Heart Chakra.
Breathe in again, pulling the energy of the universe down into your Solar Plexus Chakra.
Continue pulling in the energy. Let it flow into you. Pull it into your Root Chakra. Breathing deeply, pull it down your legs and down to your feet.
Feel the energy from both the Earth Mother and the Sky Father that is within you.
Now focus on pulling this mixed energy out from the top of your head once more. But this time let it cascade down all around you like a waterfall until it completely surrounds you.
With a deep breath in, take the energy and push it out in all directions into an egg shape around you. This is the Cosmic Egg of Protection.
Keep breathing and as you do so, push out more and more energy into your egg.
Your egg gets stronger and stronger.
And when you are satisfied with the strength of your egg stop and relax.
In a moment or two, slowly start to pull your branches back within you, pulling them in with each breath.
Let any extra energy dissipate through the roots that you had placed into the Earth from your feet, keeping the egg intact.
Now breathe the roots up, and back into your body just like the branches that were above you. Give yourself over to the total relaxation you now feel.
In a moment or two—and when you are ready—open your eyes.
[Please know that you can record the above meditation and then listen to it later. Or you could invite a friend to read above script and guide you through the meditation.]
You have now made the Cosmic Egg Shield. This shield will protect you from absorbing negative energy. It will repel any baneful energy thrown at you.
Just remember to reinforce your egg.
The Second Form of Shield—The Cosmic Egg as Mirror Shield
Create the Cosmic Egg first as you learned with the process above. This time though, imagine the outer skin of the Cosmic Egg to be a mirror. This mirror will repel the energy thrown at you by energy vampires. Instead of being able to feed on your energy, the energy vampires’ attempt will backfire, and the energy vampires will feed on themselves.
2. Realize: “I have to value your opinion before your judgments mean anything.”
We, witches, know that several groups set themselves up to think they are our opponents. You probably have noticed that they “don’t know what they’re talking about.” Really? Do they think all witches are the witch-character from The Wizard of Oz?
My friend, Cheryl, once told me of a situation in which her sister said a particularly mean comment. She could feel herself on the brink of spiraling down. Then, she told herself. “Stop. I don’t care what Trisha said. Because she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. And she doesn’t care. So, there’s nothing for me to say to her!”
That’s part of protecting yourself from an energy vampire. You choose your next thought. The first thought that bothers you can be replaced (at times).
Who says mean words to you? Perhaps, you want to tell yourself something like, “Stop. I don’tCARE what Joe said. Joe, you have no power.”
3. Ask Goddess to strengthen you to withstand the storms.
You can use a prayer like this:
Goddess, Give me your protection, From the vampires of life. Help me strengthen my healthy boundaries. So Mote It Be
“I apologize for my tone,” my friend, Ian, told the nurse practitioner during his phone call. He called because for four days he was having pain in the back of his head. He was unsteady when he stood up. “I’m scared. I have so much hope. I have people who love me, and I love them,” Ian continued.
Are you dealing with health difficulties?
I have three insights for you.
1. Acknowledge the fear.
Ian is afraid to lose his life just when good things are going on. Do you connect with this? We notice that it is important to acknowledge one’s true experience. Fear is often connected with the dread of losing something. Losing time with loved ones can feel devastating. It is valuable to have someone to talk to. Perhaps, you can turn to spiritual elders, a certain friend, or a therapist.
Who can you talk to?
2. Acknowledge how moment-to-moment you experience “shifts” in the day.
Ian pauses. He takes a deep breath. He notices that his dizziness does not stay the same throughout the whole day. He also notices that the body’s symptoms are signals. Many authors emphasize that “the body is a communication device.”
What is your body saying to you? Is it saying: “Slow down”? Or “take care”? Or “get more sleep”?
You may need to see a physician, therapist, or psychiatrist.
3. Invite the Gods to comfort you in your time of need.
When I feel like cr@p or don’t know what to do, I talk to the Gods. I pray or ask, “What do I need to learn about this?”
Here is a prayer you can use.
Honorable Lord and Gracious Lady, Give me comfort in my time of need. Hold me close. Guide me to good choices in this and all situations. Open my eyes to see wisdom and truth. Let me learn from this moment in my life. So Mote It Be.
“I had to talk to some officials about my father,” my friend, Fred, said. He looked shaken. His elderly father was continuing his violent ways.
“They want me to sign some paperwork. But I don’t know what the hell my father will do next,” Fred continued. Fred’s father had attacked another resident at the facility. The police were called, and Fred’s father had to face a judge. His father was barred from that facility.
Fred was triggered. And why not? His father had physically and emotionally abused Fred as a kid. Until he left home at 17 years old.
Are you triggered now?
I have three insights for you.
1. You need steps to handle being triggered.
Every time Fred talks with his father, the conversation goes bad. So, Fred sets up a phone call with a friend to occur immediately after such a conversation. They talk a bit about the call. But better than that, they shift to talking about something good. Fred is able to make a shift in thoughts and emotions.
Do you have a pattern so you can feel better after some triggering situation?
2. Focus on doing “a shift.”
Sometimes, the way to stop emotional pain is to shift out of a worn pattern. Something triggers a person, and then they go into a negative spiral. Fred calls a friend to do a shift in thoughts and energy. You can also meditate, pray, and/or go for a walk in nature. The idea is that you avoid losing a whole day to feeling bad.
A person can get value by venting during a chosen time. My husband and I take walks together. I remember my husband saying, “I’m going to vent about the problem until we get to that traffic light. Then let’s talk about something else.” That became our signal to do a “shift.”
Do you have a pattern of making a shift?
3. Consider a “Meditative Walk” to help you release pain.
I have learned to take a certain kind of “meditative walk.” It works better with nearby trees.
As you walk you can say something like:
I thank you my friends, the trees, I thank you grass and shrubs. Help me dissipate the negative energy within me. Negative energy flows downward. Out of my feet. Into the ground. Into Mother Earth. Such energy is now harmless. I am clear. I am safe. So Mote It Be!
“Are you lonely?” I asked Rene, someone in my circle.
“What? Me? No, I’m all right,” she replied quickly.
She did not seem all right.
Some definitions of loneliness include: A state of mind in which the person feels “empty, alone, and unwanted.” (noted at verywellmind . com)
Let’s face this together. We, witches, can feel lonely because certain spiritual paths openly discriminate against us.
How can you strengthen yourself and rise out of loneliness?
Here are three insights:
1. Call out the idea of “being broken.”
Has this happened to you? You felt broken in some way, and you had no energy to interact with anyone…?
I have had this for many days, due to my depression symptoms. I just want to lay in bed all day and do nothing but sleep and weep.
But what I really need to do is get my butt out of bed and do stuff. Even though I don’t feel like it.
By doing something that fulfills one of my responsibilities (caring for my elderly parents and their medical appointments), I build myself up. How? I have evidence that I am taking action. I am doing good things. I am capable and worthy.
My depression symptoms call me “broken.” But my actions show evidence that I am capable.
2. Make your healing independent of another human’s approval.
I do many things to heal without others’ interference or approval. I brew Mead and wine. I knit and make soap from scratch. I also like to bake. All of these things I do for me.
Yes, it’s nice to share my art with others. I enjoy giving my works to people to appreciate. But that is independent of why I do what I do.
To me making a good brew or bars of soap is good healing. What am I healing? I am rising from the pain caused by my depression symptoms to create my art.
I like the process of creating things. I enjoy the end products, too.
I make sure to take walks and do a bit of weight training.
Are you doing something for your health and peace of mind?
3. Ask the Goddess for support for your new “first step” actions.
To alleviate loneliness, one often needs to take certain steps forward. Perhaps, you decide to attend an in-person workshop. If you’re an introvert, you may need to practice asking some questions.
Rehearsing for talking with new people takes energy.
Consider praying to the Goddess for support and new energy.
A Prayer:
Lovely Lady, Bless me with your support for good healing. Fill me with empowering energy. Guide me to prepare to meet new people. Support me as I talk with people So, I have the energy to truly listen. May You light my way in the darkness. So that I may create connections and friendships. So Mote It Be.
“Every time, in every phone conversation, my father cuts me down. Every conversation is torture,” my friend, Nicholas, said.
“It sounds like shielding might help you,” I replied.
“I don’t know about that. My father won’t change,” Nicholas said.
“It’s about you. Keeping you strong. Helping you have healthy boundaries,” I said.
Nicholas agreed, and I led him through a shielding meditation.
About a half hour later, Nicholas called me.
“It was so different. Maybe, it was the energy I was expressing,” Nicholas said. “For once, my father and I had an ‘okay’ conversation. And when he started to go off the rails, I said, ‘We have had a good conversation. It’s time for us to complete this. Take care.’” Nicholas then ended the phone conversation with his father.
“That worked!” Nicholas said.
Sometimes, it seems that we, witches, lose our way for a time. It is almost like we need to “keep proving that Wicca works.” For Nicholas, the personal shielding meditation and good results reminded him vividly that Wicca works.
Personal shielding can be a valuable addition to your life.
One of my favorite exercises is to put up The Cosmic Egg Shield.
The Tree of Life Meditation/Cosmic Egg Shield
Meditation Exercise–“The Tree of Life”
Slowly breathe in and out. Breathe in the energy of love and peace (envision this as white energy). Breathe out all stress and negativity (envision this as black smoke). Keep taking deep breaths in and out. Concentrate on the white energy being breathed in and filling up your body with loving energy. Then let go and breathe out the negative energy you see as black smoke. As you do this, release the stresses of the day. Repeat this breathing cycle at least three times until you are comfortable and relaxed.
As your body and mind begin to relax, continue deep breathing and focus on this image:
Envision roots made up of energy sprouting from the bottoms of your feet. With each breath, extend the roots farther and farther down toward Mother Earth.
Extend them down through the floor, down past the plumbing of the house, and down, down deep into Mother Earth’s body. Go down to her core, to the center of her heart.
Once there, with each breath in, pull up the energy from Mother Earth. Breathe out the stress, and breathe in the blue-green energy of Mother Earth.
Pull the energy up through your roots, up past the plumbing of the house, past the floor, and into your feet. The energy feels clean and refreshing.
Breathe in deeply. Pull the blue-green energy up into your legs and past your knees. Pull it up, up into your Root Chakra at the base of your spine. Let it fill your body, going up, up into your Sacral Chakra, and continuing to your Solar Plexus Chakra. Breathing in deeply, draw the energy up into your Heart Chakra. Let the energy flow down your arms and into your hands. Feel your body relax as the energy fills it.
Breathing in, draw the energy up into your Throat Chakra.
Concentrate on the blue-green energy filling your body. When you are ready, with another breath in, breathe the energy up into your Third Eye Chakra.
Using your breath, draw the energy up into your Crown Chakra. Feel the energy flow throughout your body.
With another breath in, pull the energy up and out of your head. The energy forms like branches toward the Sky above you. Continue and let the branches flow up to the universe and out into the cosmos.
Draw down the golden energy of the Sky and universe into you. Continue to let the Sky energy intermingle and mix with the Earth energy that is already there. Pull it down through your body and into your arms.
Continue breathing deeply, mixing and pulling the energies down to your Heart Chakra.
Breathe in again, pulling the energy of the universe down into your Solar Plexus Chakra.
Continue pulling in the energy. Let it flow into you. Pull it into your Root Chakra. Breathing deeply, pull it down your legs and down to your feet.
Feel the energy from both the Earth Mother and the Sky Father that is within you.
Now focus on pulling this mixed energy out from the top of your head once more. But this time let it cascade down all around you like a waterfall until it completely surrounds you.
With a deep breath in, take the energy and push it out in all directions into an egg shape around you. This is the Cosmic Egg of Protection.
Keep breathing and as you do so, push out more and more energy into your egg.
Your egg gets stronger and stronger.
And when you are satisfied with the strength of your egg stop and relax.
In a moment or two, slowly start to pull your branches back within you, pulling them in with each breath.
Let any extra energy dissipate through the roots that you had placed into the Earth from your feet, keeping the egg intact.
Now breathe the roots up, and back into your body just like the branches that were above you. Give yourself over to the total relaxation you now feel.
In a moment or two—and when you are ready—open your eyes.
[Please know that you can record the above meditation and then listen to it later. Or you could invite a friend to read the above script and guide you through the meditation.]
You have now made the Cosmic Egg Shield. This shield will protect you from absorbing negative energy. It will repel any baneful energy thrown at you.
Ever get sick? Not just a cold. I mean, have you been really sick?
When I’m in such a tough time, I make space to get more rest (during which I ask for the Gods’ healing). Then there’s chicken soup—lots of it.
When I’m really physically ill, I ask for my coven’s help.
A Spell of Healing
What you will need:
One Blue Candle
Healing oil (or extra virgin olive oil)
Candle Holder
Three Stones (your choice) – Moss Agate, Axinite, Beryllonite, Crocoite, Red Jade
Your Ritual Tools
Chamomile Tea
The Sick Person
Chicken Noodle Soup (or other appropriate soup)
Warm freshly laundered blanket to be blessed
Rattle
On your altar, place the Blue Candle. Add healing stones around the candle in the form of a triangle. Put the warmed-up soup on the altar next to the candle on the left. Place the blanket on the right with the rattle on top of it and the Chamomile Tea behind the Blue Candle.
In your Circle the altar will be in the north section. The sick person sits in the middle of the Circle.
Cast your Circle.
Bless the rattle, stones, tea, Blue Candle, soup and blanket by holding each in turn saying:
I do bless this (name of item) that it may heal by the Gods’ hands.
Dress your candle with the healing oil, rubbing from wick to base.
And say:
I pull healing energy to (Name of Person).
Light the Blue Candle and say:
I now heal (Name of Person).
Shake the rattle above the sick person’s head while they take a sip of the soup. Next, with the soup, you walk widdershins (the opposite of clockwise) around the cast Circle’s edge.
At each quarter, say:
West: With this soup, I banish all illness from the blood
South: With this soup, I banish all illness from the spirit
East: With this soup, I banish all illness from the breath
North: With this soup, I banish all illness from this body! So, Mote It Be!
Bring the soup to the sick person. Have them partake of the soup again. Shake the rattle over the sick person’s head, as the person eats the soup, and say:
I cleanse you of all illness.
Go to the alar and pick up the cup of tea.
Have the sick person take a sip of the tea. With the tea, you walk widdershins (the opposite of clockwise) around the cast Circle’s edge.
At each quarter starting with the West, say:
West: With this tea, I banish all illness from the blood
South: With this tea, I banish all illness from the spirit
East: With this tea, I banish all illness from the breath
North: With this tea, I banish all illness from this body! So, Mote It Be!
Bring the tea to the sick person. Have them partake of the tea again. Shake the rattle, as the person drinks the tea, and say:
I cleanse you of all illness.
At the altar, hold your athame over the blanket and say:
I call all healing energies to infuse this blanket.
Let it heal the body as well as the soul.
Wrap the blanket around the sick person saying:
You are healed with the Gods’ love.
Do the Cakes and Wine Ceremony.
Close your Circle.
Give the person space to rest and recover.
May this rite bring healing to you or someone dear to you.
Ever find that your Inner Critic beats you up emotionally?
Some of us ask, “What’s an Inner Critic?” That’s the part of you that won’t give you a break. Instead of saying, “You made a mistake,” the Inner Critic says, “What the hell is the matter with you?”
The Inner Critic is a voice inside you that kicks you when you’re down.
Here is a Self-Affirmation Chant to help you exert your inner power.
Self-Affirmation Chant
Inner critic, listen up, You don’t think I make the cut. Listen now and listen good, Just stop pushing “should.” I silence you from ruining my day, Now my Higher Spirit has the last say. Confidence and good thoughts surround me, As I so will, So Mote it Be.
May you guide your Inner Critic to quiet down.
Demote the Inner Critic to just a member of your committee of voices in your thoughts.
Invite the Gods to enhance the power of your Higher Spirit.
“No, I don’t think I’m strong enough to move on from this hell I’m in,” my friend, Amy, said.
“If you realize that Goddess loves you, and you do the things so you can feel Her support—you can do the hard things in life,” I replied.
Here I’ll share three points.
You are not alone.
The God and Goddess are always with you. You can call on Them to help you through the tough times in your life.
“Keep pure your highest ideal; strive ever toward it; let naught stop you or turn you aside.” – Doreen Valiente, speaking in the voice of the Goddess – in The Charge of the Goddess
Sometimes, it feels like everything in the world is trying to stop you from your desired goal. At those moments, look beyond the mundane world. Call on the Gods for Their support. Ask the Goddess, in Her nurturing aspect, to help you and guide you on your path.
Goddess is the Loving Form of Deity.
“Nor do I demand sacrifice, for behold I am the Mother of All Living, and my love is poured out upon the earth.” – Doreen Valiente, speaking in the voice of the Goddess – in The Charge of the Goddess
The Goddess has explained that she doesn’t demand that you sacrifice your desires or dreams for Her. She wants you to be happy. The Gods don’t want us to suffer.
Sometimes, we get the answer of Light, having gone through a time of darkness.
“The dark and the light in succession,
The opposites each unto each,
Shown forth as a God and a Goddess,
Of this did our ancestors teach.” – Doreen Valiente – in The Witches Creed
If we don’t have the hard times or dark times in our lives, we can’t fully appreciate the light parts. In one discussion, one of my friends emphasized that an important part of happiness can be feeling relief after a dark time.
When we see the good times stand out from the dark, we truly appreciate the good times when they arrive.
The dark times can be a powerful form of teacher. Dark times teach us certain lessons we need to learn. When the Light finally arrives, the Light illuminates our progress through those lessons.
We need both times of Light and dark to grow into our full potential and full destiny.
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