It happened again. I thought about something I regretted. It looked like I wouldn’t get sleep. Then I shifted my thoughts. I brought an image to my sleep-deprived mind. I am floating in the ocean. Peaceful. The waves softly flow. The Ocean is Goddess.
Eventually, I fall asleep.
Later, I reflected on this.
Here are two definitions:
“Regret is an emotion. It’s a negative emotion in that it’s an emotion that makes us feel worse, not better. And it’s an emotion that’s triggered when we think of something from our past and wish we had done something differently, done something in a different way, not done something, taken an action, not taken an action.” – Daniel Pink
“Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.” – Brené Brown
Whoa! Stop!
Goddess put divinity within us. We ARE worthy of love and belonging. We belong to the Goddess.
I remember this quote:
“Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better.” – Maya Angelou
So I need to shift from regret to reflecting on what I may want to do differently in the future.
Here’s a prayer you can use.
Goddess, Let Your waters of love caress and flow within and without me. Let my shame and regret be washed from my mind, body, and soul. Soothe me, nourish me, and heal me. So Mote It Be.
Scrraaapp! A brunch of scratch marks manifested on the side of my car.
Oooh! I got so mad I could spit.
Maybe you can relate to this. An accident. The problem was there were only two elements involved: one human (me) and one pole (it was a SHORT pole—one that was hard to see).
This pole collision happened a couple of hours earlier today.
How did I fall into this mess?
It was a confluence of a number of things. I had two friends visiting from out of town. Feeling sleep deprived, I still made it to have lunch with them. Add the hot weather and the sun beating down on my fair skin, and I probably approached heatstroke.
Tired, thirsty and hot, I finally arrived at my car when the visit came to a close. Pulling out of the parking space and feeling really uncomfortable, I was confused as to how to exit the parking structure.
In my defense … I dutifully followed the arrows on the ground near the exit. But the turn was way to tight and I scraped that damn short pole.
I was so angry at myself. On my way home all I could think of was “You f**king idiot!” I ruminated on how I should have been more careful.
Do you beat yourself up about your own mistakes?
At least back at home, I drank a lot of water. Time to get to the autobody shop. I ruminated again. This time I thought: “It’s Friday. They may have already closed for the weekend.” I called the shop; they would give me an estimate.
I got to the shop. They fit me in. The tech guy said, “I’ll be right back.” When he returned, he had two squeeze bottles and a rag. He wiped some liquid on the effected area and slowly the scuff started to come off. I was so thrilled to see that!
Soon all the yellow paint was off, and I gave him my vial of blue touch-up paint. A moment later, the car looked fine. And the best part? It cost me nothing.
I said, “Thank you. I’m so grateful. That’s why we keep having our cars worked on here.”
The tech guy smiled.
After this, I had some thoughts. What was I supposed to learn here?
What I learned is: I didn’t have a buffer. If I had more sleep and had done meditation this week, I could have had more patience for the situation and myself.
When I talk with Wiccans, sometimes, we say, “I know what I should do. I just don’t get around to doing meditation or ritual.”
So, I just stopped writing this post, and I did a candle ritual—thanking the God and Goddess for the good outcome to the pole collision incident.
What can you do to deepen your Wiccan practice?
Remember, a bad surprise can happen at any time.
We, Wiccans, need to create a buffer in our lives. We need to back off and not burden ourselves too much. We need to preserve our personal energy.