“I wish I could tell people no,” my friend, Jill said. “But I’m afraid it’s just going to cause more trouble.” How does a Wiccan say no and still protect her relationships?
The answer lives in The Three Aspects of the Goddess. Many of us have heard of the Maiden, Mother and Crone. I’m suggesting here that all three aspects are necessary – not only for our spiritual growth, but also for us to support our relationships at work and with family.
Recently, I heard multiple times in the same week, Wiccans saying, “I don’t have time for my spiritual practice.” With people demanding your time and effort, it can feel almost impossible to have time for your personal, spiritual journey.
Some authors suggest that “saying no” is a prime, time-management tool.
I’ll add that you cannot merely say no. You need to add something kind and conscious to that process.
Three Aspects of the Goddess
We’ll focus on the Three Aspects of the Goddess to help you find more time, so you can improve your own Wiccan practice.
First, you don’t just say no.
I once heard a speech in which the person said, “You could say something like this: ‘I’ll have to say no at this time. My plate is full. Let’s see if we can brainstorm for a moment. Maybe, I know someone who can help you with that.’” The speaker’s point was that you don’t just say no. You also find a way to be helpful.
That’s the essence of the below Three Aspects of the Goddess Elements to Say No Process:
- Maiden (fertility of ideas)
Many times, people can be demanding of your time and efforts when it’s not your duty or job description.
Still, you need to protect the relationship.
This is the time to invoke the Maiden form of the Goddess, known for fertility. Let’s add the thought: fertility in terms of creating new ideas.
When you embody “Maiden energy,” you say things like:
- I hear you. The paperwork is tough. How about I brainstorm with you about when in the shift you can do it?
- I understand. The paperwork is complicated. I realize that at some time (maybe I’m on vacation), you’d need to take care of it. When can we take 15 minutes, and I’ll show you how to do Part One of the paperwork?
This process is about you helping the person think of ways to fulfill the task or request without you.
The Maiden has lots of youthful energy. To guard your own energy, you need to express to the person what you’re willing to do, and more importantly what you’re not willing to do.
Remember, there are things you cannot do for the person you care about. You cannot take their final exam, and you cannot, in their place, arrive on time for work.
I’ve heard Wiccans complain about “where did my energy go?” Guard your own Maiden energy by shifting to helping people do their own tasks.
- Mother (nurture the person to do things)
Embrace and nurture the person. Help the person do things for themselves.
My friend, Jill, at work, puts forth the idea of a rotating schedule for the duty of filling out the paperwork.
Jill discovers that helping the other people learn how to do paperwork gives them a sense of accomplishment that they are growing their skills.
Make sure you nurture (and reinforce) the new behaviors by giving specific praise to another person who is learning new things. Appreciate them and give them good feelings. Celebrate that the person’s skills and experiences have expanded.
My husband’s coach talks about “growing your comfort zone.”
An effective mother does not do all the tasks. She empowers her family to add new skills. The family members “grow their comfort zone.”
- Crone (provide “wisdom with a hug”)
I think of the effective Crone as one who provides wisdom with a hug.
Without a hug or giving a person good feelings, it’s just someone telling another person what to do.
For example, some male individuals say, “I’m a recovering Mr. Fix It.” This is recognizing that we want to avoid just telling someone: “To fix that, you should do _____.”
Wisdom with a hug means “you hold them and their feelings.” And that means you listen.
* * *
In summary, you can create more time for yourself and your spiritual path when you learn to say no and add The Three Aspects of the Goddess. I’m not saying this is easy. It takes practice.
When you’re not running around doing everyone else’s work, you can have time for your personal spiritual practices.
May this process create more peace and joy in your life.
Looking for gifts?
See my designs at Redbubble. For more of Moonwater SilverClaw, consider some of her books:
“Moonwater was telling me about her weight loss program, and it sounded like something I could do that didn’t cost me more than the normal groceries I buy, anyway. I started with an egg omelet in the morning with mushrooms and spinach. … In two weeks, I lost 7 lbs. I had a couple of days of eating what I wanted but not overeating. Then right back to Goddess Style. I feel great and eat what the Goddess gives us.” – Denise Kopplinger
Try My Online Course
As a Wiccan I found this an inspiring read. Written in a way that makes it accessible to everyone irrespective of their current knowledge. – Shona Cathro
I don’t generally write reviews on books I’ve read…but this time i feel lead to. This book spoke volumes to me, as if the author knew exactly where I’m coming from and what I’m struggling with. It’s not often a book can make me cry, but this one did by making me see the many blocks I’ve put up in my life. I knew they were there, but I’ve gotten skilled at pretending they’re not. Thank you for helping me see I’m not some freak because of circumstances throughout my life that have caused the blocks, and that i need to stop hiding from or burying them and face them one step at a time. – Crystal Sparks
This book is a must have for all of those starting out on the spiritual path of Wicca and for all of those who are just looking for some light and love in their life. MoonWater SilverClaw uses her knowledge of Wicca and her personal experiences to not only teach the Law of Attraction in a clear manner but to help you use the Law of Attraction to better your life.
Through simple guided meditations and tips on living a happy healthy life this book takes you on a journey that will teach you how to love yourself, better your self image, and rid yourself of the negative energies that prevent you from reaching your goals.
This book covers many wonderful topics that will teach you basic magical practices as well as the theory and idea of “like attracts like” From setting up an alter to casting a circle and how to perform and find the magick that you are seeing in your life this book has so much to offer.
MoonWater SilverClaw is truly an inspirational writer for a newer generation of Wiccans and those seeking to use the natural energies of the earth to make changes in their life. Her writing style speaks from the heart because she has been where the reader is, she has used these techniques and steps to better her own life and now she is helping the reader use the Law of Attraction to better theirs – Amazon Customer
This is an absolute gem for the witch with issues. Rituals for things like self-esteem are something i have never seen before. Moonwater’s writing is engrossing and draws the reader in. I am a witch with PTSD M.S. and other issues and this book made me feel hopeful and capable. – t’air
Ms. SilverClaw has written a book that is really great for the beginner wanting to learn about Wiccan or wants to start practicing the art of Wicca. I found this book wonderful, easy to read, and extremely helpful and informative. It covers everything from what Wicca is, the history of Wicca and how Wicca became misassociated with evil, along with how Wicca can help/save people’s lives. Ms. SilverClaw also discusses practicing Wicca either in a Coven or Solo, and all the things you need in order to have in order to perform your ceremony, and she explains what each item means. She explains how to create spells and gives examples to use, and explains the pitfalls of creating certain types of spells. Ms. SilverClaw has truly created a book that is a cast all net the seems to cover everything that I needed to know to begin practicing Wicca. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is searching for their first book on the topic and wants to start practicing the art of Wicca or is just curious about the topic. This is truly a Must Have book. – Tamra L. Shipman
This is a terrific book! It is like talking to the author over a cup of tea like one of the bloggers says. – Kitri
P.S. To sign up for our E-Newsletter click here.