“When are you calm during the day?” a friend, Alicia, asked me.
“Usually when I first wake up in the morning. Before the weight of the day crashes down on my shoulders,” I replied.
Alicia wasn’t expecting that answer.
Meanwhile…
Lidia, someone I know, works in retail. She’s noticing that more and more customers in recent weeks have been saying rude, impatient things. Downright mean insults.
Lidia needs to stay calm – or lose her job.
I asked her, “Do you have some way to hold your calm?”
Lidia said, “Every day, I have a 3-minute ritual in which I purposely shift to calm.”
“Each of us must find our ideal way to attune with deity.” – Scott Cunningham
Here is a ritual you can use.
Own Your Calm Ritual – Invite Goddess
Light a white candle and say these words:
Goddess, As pure as light, may Your calm wash over me. May I bathe in this candle’s blessed light. Thank You for peace, calm, and strength. So Mote It Be!
I was concerned. I had just a week to create my 400th Podcast episode. This was so important to me… and to the listeners who have downloaded my podcast episodes over 45,000 times.
Do you feel squeezed by other people’s expectations?
I’m exhausted. I just said to my kitten Max, “Behave yourself. Go to your room!” (His room is a special pet bed that has a dome over it.)
Max has two speeds: “Berserker and off (Sleep)!” He cycles through that at least 7 times a day.
Perhaps, you’ve had similar experiences. You are running, running through your day.
Often, I am supporting my elderly parents through their cycle of doctor/therapy appointments—get groceries—and more. Plus, my other responsibilities.
I need to slow down.
Do you feel you need to catch your breath?
Consider these words of the Goddess.
“Keep pure your highest ideals. Strive ever towards it. Let none stop you or turn you aside.” – The Goddess speaking in The Charge of the Goddess, written by Doreen Valiente
The Goddess wants to support you in expressing your divinity.
Consider this breath ritual.
The Goddess Breath Ritual
Breathe in as you recite in your mind: “Goddess” Breathe out as you recite in your mind: “Stress Away.”
Do this cycle three times. (Yes, 3 is a sacred number.)
I was scared. I couldn’t believe it! My precious kitten, Max, had worked the cat carrier open. His head was poking out of the carrier. At the top. The opening was strangling him! His meow was a scream! And I was driving my car on the freeway!
I pulled off to the freeway shoulder. I leaned over to the seat on my right. I had buckled the seat belt over Max’s cat carrier. I got the top open a bit—and released Max’s head. I moved the zippers around. Finally, he was safe. The other cars on the freeway raced by at 70 miles per hour.
Eventually, we made it home.
I thank the Goddess that I avoided an emotional meltdown and did what was necessary to save Max. And to keep us both safe on the freeway with cars whizzing by.
The Wiccan Rede came to mind.
“Mind the Three-fold Laws you should, three times bad and three times good,” – The Wiccan Rede (in several published long form versions)
Some time ago, I was in a discussion, and an acquaintance said, “I’m concerned about The Three-fold Law. Could I make a mistake and get hit with three times the trouble?”
A short form of The Wiccan Rede reads as “An ye harm none, do what ye will.”
As I take a breath and settle into my gratitude for the safety of Max–my kitten–and me, I realize that the Goddess wants us to be safe and grow.
The Goddess says,
“Keep pure your highest ideals. Strive ever towards it. Let none stop you or turn you aside.” – The Goddess speaking in The Charge of the Goddess, written by Doreen Valiente
So, when you face a surprise hard moment or scary moment, remember to call upon the Goddess.
“I want to quit that damn job!” my friend, Alexandra, said.
We talked for a while.
“Two people are so judgmental. There’s no space for me to do a good job. They’ve been there for years, and they don’t give a damn about the clients,” Alexandra said.
I reflected on this.
What creates humans who are so rigid?
Here are two insights.
1. Make a shift from beliefs to values.
Alonso, a friend of a friend, said, “I’ve noticed that what blocks someone listening to another person is that they resist the possibility of changing their own mind.”
Alonso went on and said, “If someone holds tightly to beliefs, they miss the connection with who they truly are. That includes their values.”
As I talked with spiritual elders, a topic arose: A witch’s values are connected to their “Witchy Essence.”
We move beyond beliefs and opinions to Essence. Your Witchy Essence is the divinity that the God and Goddess placed in you.
Your essence is not your roles (parent, partner, worker, artist).
Your essence is your “quiet center.”
Do you meditate or conduct ritual to get to your quiet center?
2. Pray to the Goddess
Here is a prayer you can use:
Great Lord and Lovey Lady, Help me connect to my quiet center, That is my Witchy Essence. So Mote It Be
“Just about every day, I get hit by fear of a bad future,” I said. “About what?” asked one of my spiritual elders. “Not having enough money. Losing the place where my husband and I live,” I said. “What do you want?” “I want to feel safe,” I said.
Later, I reflected on this.
First, let’s start with this question:
What do you want?
One of my husband’s friends coaches clients to have better lives.
This coach said, “Many of us are preoccupied with ‘self-preservation.’”
In my conversation with one of my spiritual elders, this idea arose: “Which self are you trying to preserve?”
Is it the ego-self? The part that’s full of fear? Is it the artist self? The part that’s all about expressing your thoughts and feelings? Is it the divine self that the God and Goddess gave you?
I have shared on this blog before my direct experience of when I first met the God and the Goddess. In Their Presence, I felt Their total love and acceptance of me. That felt completely different from how I felt every day when I was 16 years old.
As I look back upon that moment, I realize that it was a revelation. That I was loved. It did not matter what my genetically related family members were like. I have a Spiritual Family.
I recall this quote:
We ask no Heaven, we fear no Hell, Nor mourn our outcast lot, Treading the mazes of a spell By priests and men forgot.”
― Gerald B. Gardner, The Meaning of Witchcraft
We Wiccans can go beyond the “outcast lot.”
I am a 3rd Degree Wiccan Witch of the Gardnerian Tradition.
I realize that I can make an internal shift to my Divine Self. That’s my Essence as given to me by the God and Goddess, I do not have to fall into a “small self” that might want to be elsewhere.
“That perhaps is at the core of Wicca—it is a joyous union with nature. The earth is a manifestation of divine energy. Wicca’s temples are flower-splashed meadows, forests, beaches, and deserts. When a Wicca is outdoors, she or he is actually surrounded by sanctity.” – Scott Cunningham
So, when you look to preserve your Self … look to the “core of Wicca…as a joyful union with nature.”
“All who seek to know Me, know this… All your seeking and yearning will be in vain unless you understand the Mystery that if what you seek is not found within, you will never find it without.” – The Goddess speaking in The Charge of the Goddess, as written by Doreen Valiente
So, in the quest for “self-preservation,” we can make a shift to the God and Goddess—and the Essence that They put within you.
Your Essence is not the body that grows old. Your Essence is not the approval of others. Your Essence is not the fear of a bad future.
Instead… Your Essence is the Certainty that You Are One with the God and Goddess. Preserve your experience of that!
“I want to talk about loneliness,” I said to one of my editors. “That’s a big topic. It has so many elements to it,” my editor replied.
Later, I wondered, “What has the Goddess said that applies to loneliness?”
The first phrase that leapt into my thoughts was:
“Keep pure your highest ideal; strive ever towards it; let naught stop you or turn you aside.” – The Goddess speaking in The Charge of the Goddess, written by Doreen Valiente
Let’s look at “highest ideal.”
What is your highest ideal?
Have you heard about people who met their lifemate or new friends while they pursued their own hobbies or interests?Perhaps, you’ve stopped making space for hobbies or interests. Are you called to do something different now?
How can you connect with your highest ideal—where people are?
“The Goddess’s law is love unto all beings.” – The Goddess speaking in The Charge of the Goddess, written by Doreen Valiente
Where can you do good? How can you bring some form of kindness to some people? Reiza, someone I know, has a mission when she goes to work at a grocery store. She is kind to people. And several of the customers respond with smiles and kindness toward her. She has found a few new friends.
How can you hold space so you are okay with people’s differences?
I began as a Solitary Wiccan. I empathize that it can be lonely in certain areas of this world, where we cannot share our Wiccan faith.
I noticed something unusual. A friend, Mason, has a friendship with someone who is on the opposite end of politics. These friends talk about everything—health, hopes, dreams … and they simply do NOT talk about politics.
They end phone calls with “Love ya, Brother.” On many things, they share common ground. Their phone calls alleviate some loneliness.
Would you find it possible to share part of your journey with someone?
Pray to the Goddes
I realize that loneliness is a complex situation for many of us. Many times, I understand that I need to turn to the Goddess for support, as I walk the path that can be tough.
Here is a prayer you can use.
Goddess, Support me in times I feel lonely. Show me how to expand my social circle. Bring good people into my life. So Mote It Be.
“I don’t want to miss an opportunity. But … but I’m shaking,” a friend, Henry, said. Henry is artistic, and he was facing a whole new venue for his art. A big opportunity. “And a big risk,” Henry said.
In talking with spiritual elders … the conversation often turns to the idea of “your essence versus your ego.”
Henry’s essence is “artist.” His ego is “scared guy worried about making a mistake.”
The idea is that one’s ego is made of fear. The ego tries to protect you. But the problem is that it is influenced by genetics. The people who passed on their genes were those who ran away from tigers and lions.
The ones who said, “Here, Kitty, Kitty” … got eaten.
Fear, for many of us, is a first reaction.
The ego tries to protect us. And the ego keeps us small.
On the other hand, the Goddess wants us to experience Our Essence. The God and Goddess placed divinity in you. That’s your essence.
What is your essence about? Growing and giving.
Make space to shift.
Some artistic people I know keep pen and paper (how old-fashioned) next to their bed. They write down ideas as they wake up in the morning. At times, they capture some divine inspiration.
Many of us meditate with a journal nearby to record the inspiration we receive.
Drop seeking willpower in favor of making it a routine.
Several people I know say they have trouble with making meditation a daily ritual.
However, making a routine—or tying meditation to a routine you have—can support your spiritual life. Allison, someone I know, does a brief breathing meditation in her bathroom immediately after brushing and flossing her teeth.
That’s a routine connected to a routine.
Pray to the Goddess.
Here is a prayer you can use.
My Lord and Lady, who granted me my essence, Help me separate my essence from my ego. For my ego is not my true self. Support me as I walk my true path. So Mote It Be.
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