How Witches Get Beyond Fear to Healthy Strength

“I guess that was self-sabotage,” my friend, Eric, said.
I nodded.
“I just couldn’t help myself,” he said.
Those were true words.
This began a significant conversation.

When fear and the Shadow Self interact, we may find ourselves confused and at a disadvantage.

Here are three insights.

Identify fear and the Shadow Self’s interaction

The Shadow Self is that part of you which you prefer did not exist. The Shadow Self includes fear, anger, rage, jealousy, selfishness, greed, and more. All the things you probably do not like about yourself.

Witches are called upon to learn how to accept their personal Shadow Self in a healthy way.

The idea of “accept” can be hard to relate to. Who wants to accept anger that they carry around?

The interaction of fear and the Shadow Self can be being afraid to look inside and see the negativity you carry. People full of fear do unhealthy things. With upset feelings, some of us hide and some of us do things to “numb out” the painful feelings. Activities that create the “numb out” experience often lead to destructive outcomes like poor health, twisted relationships, and lack of sleep.

The problem is that if you suppress your own knowledge of your Shadow Self, you’re like a person with their eyes closed, bumping into things.

To open your heart to compassion for yourself is a good way to start healing. This can be as simple as pause, reflect and make space for your Shadow Self.

Pause. Reflect. Make Space.

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” – Carl Jung

When the Shadow Self raises its head, pause.

How does the Shadow Self make itself known? Just like in Eric’s case (above), you find yourself acting out in a way that causes trouble.

When you pause, devote time to reflect. “What is the Shadow Self trying to tell you?” If you are experiencing anger, what is the source of that anger?

Many of us might say, “It’s simple. [Person’s name] is making me mad.”
But pause and reflect. Is this the whole situation? Go deeper.
Let’s say George is chronically late for meeting you. It feels like disrespect.
Stop. Ask yourself, “Am I afraid that I’m not worthy enough to deserve respect?”

Maybe, you’re brittle about the lateness detail because you do not feel worthy.

What’s below that?

Why would you not feel worthy?

Some people feel that they are broken. I address the process of moving beyond the “I feel broken” experience in my online course, Spiritual Solution for Depression Relief.

Here I’m inviting you to make space for your upset feelings. It is okay to feel that way. It doesn’t mean you need to act on those emotions. Just breathe and observe. Perhaps, write details down in your private and personal journal.

“If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn’t part of ourselves doesn’t disturb us.” – Herman Hesse

The process of making space for your Shadow Self includes making space to just observe your uncomfortable feelings.

Reflect on your biases and understand them.

If you are having trouble making space to reflect on your biases, ask the Goddess for help.

Call on the Goddess to guide your transformation of incorporating Shadow Elements and reducing their power.

When you accept the Shadow Self, you can become stronger as a whole person. Kept in the darkness, the Shadow Self has extra power. Shining light into the dark corner reduces the power of the Shadow Self.

Picture it this way. You lose energy by suppressing or pushing down the Shadow Self. The Shadow Self gets stronger by pushing upwards.

Instead, call on the Goddess to help guide you. The process is to transform and incorporate the Shadow Elements into you. This will make you a stronger person. How?

Imagine you get angry about people being late. If you realize that people’s behavior is often about their own inner life, you can put in simple consequences and avoid getting extremely upset. You can say, “George, I’ll be at the restaurant at 12 noon. I’ll read a book for 15 minutes. If you’re later than that, I just start eating and then go when I’m done.”

You transformed the situation. You have demonstrated self-respect by telling George what you will do.

To call on the Goddess for guidance, you use a simple candle lighting ritual.

Prayer for a Candle Lighting Ritual to Transform Shadow Elements

Shadow Self, Shadow Self, listen to me,
Combine with my light side so I can be free.
Swift like the falcon and bright like the moon,
Goddess grant me this precious boon.
Together I heal and by Goddess’s grace
Now I am whole and one in this place.
So Mote It Be.

May these insights support you on your path.

Blessed Be,
Moonwater