“Women are not attracted to nice guys,” my friend, Alicia, said.
“Maybe. But I heard that the real turn-off is … some nice guys are passive. You cannot count on them to step up and protect you,” I noted.
I have learned that we need to be proactive to protect our relationship. And, a big part of that is to know, in a relationship, the partners have real differences.
Here are three insights.

1. Observe your preferences and how they differ from your partner’s preferences.
What do you like? Do you like it when your partner brings you flowers? Or do you like it when they do the dishes, or maybe help you with one of your goals?
A person who likes “Acts of Service” will feel loved when you do things for them.
Other people really feel loved when you give them a gift. Think chocolate and flowers. Unless there is an allergy!
The strange thing is that partners are often opposite in what makes them feel loved.
It sounds like this: “I brought you flowers, greeting cards, jewelry…”
“Yeah. But could you just edit my article for my blog?”
That’s the sound of someone who prefers “Acts of Service.”
How do you know what makes your partner feel loved? … Ask them.

2. Note the differences between how you feel comforted and your partner feels comforted.
Imagine this situation. When you were a kid and you felt sick, your mother gave you chicken soup. And you still like chicken soup. You might feel comforted and loved with chicken soup.
Let’s say your partner prefers tomato soup. No matter how many bowls of chicken soup you offer, nothing good happens.
To make sense of this, it helps to have some conversations.

3. Ask the Goddess to help you make space for the differences.
Here’s a prayer that may help you:
Goddess,
Guide my partner and me.
Help us ask the right questions so
We discover what truly supports each other.
Help us to listen well.
We understand that our preferences may differ a lot.
Guide us to improve our personal energy so
We have reserves of calm and space for listening.
So Mote It Be.

May this prayer or something similar support you.
And…

May these insights help you on your path.

Blessed Be,
Moonwater