education

What We Think Will Make Us Happy

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Stop Sign

What We Think Will Make Us Happy

As a young girl I fantasized about someone who would rescue me from the horrible conditions of my home life. My brother terrorized me and almost killed me by holding me underwater in a neighbor’s pool. He was 12 and I was 8.

As I did chores around the house, I fantasized that someone at any moment would come in and take me away from my terrible situation.

When I got a little older I met a guy who I thought could solve my plight. If we just could get married, we’d be independent. I’d finally be out of the house and I would be happy. No more mental, verbal and physical abuse. This was the chance I was waiting for.

So at 18, I married him. Things seemed fine at first. We got a place of our own and I went to school and “Joe” went to work. At the time I was studying to be a computer animator.

At first, Joe said a few things that felt cruel. I just thought he was having an occasional bad day. But it became more frequent.

Joe had control of the money accounts. I said we needed to buy groceries. “Too expensive,” he said. But while he was out, he’d eat at restaurants, leaving me with empty cupboards and nothing to eat. So often I felt hungry.

Then in the evening, he’d take me to fast food restaurants. My body began to live in starvation mode. Soon when I ate, my body clung to every calorie.

With no food in the daytime, and fast food (no vegetables) at night, I started gaining weight. Then Joe berated me for the changes in my body. His verbal abuse beat down my soul.

Was it all his fault that this had happened to me? No. It was my fault. I was so desperate for someone else to solve my problems that I didn’t stop and ask the Gods what I should do.

Once I reached out to the Gods, they opened my eyes. I needed to save myself.

No, I do not excuse my ex-husband’s behavior. But I learned that I needed to stand up for myself. I initiated divorce proceedings.

With the Gods’ guidance, I learned that it’s my responsibility to make me happy. Now whenever I face dilemmas I bring them to the Gods’ for guidance.

I’ve learned that true happiness can vary greatly from fantasies. I’ve also learned that when I take responsibility to face the truth of my situation and I take positive action the Gods smile upon my efforts.

My life has steadily improved by listening to the Gods’ counsel.

So the next time you are stumped with life problems, talk to the Gods. Perhaps, take a walk and watch for signs in the world around you.

Maybe you’ll gaze upon the full moon and ask the Goddess for her advice.

Realize that some Wiccans do not hear the Gods’ voices directly. They just feel a quickening of their intuition.

Knowing the Gods are there for me brings me great comfort.

May you know the blessings of the Gods.

Moonwater SilverClaw

How to Heal by Separating Yourself Spiritually from a Bad Relationship

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Magick Spellwork

Magick Spellwork

How to Heal by Separating Yourself Spiritually

from a Bad Relationship

We’ve all been in a bad relationship at some time in our lives. Whether it is a family problem or ex-lovers or a friendship that just plain went sour. So how do we spiritually separate ourselves from these poisonous people?

You can use many different ways to accomplish this. However, the first and foremost thing to do is to verbally end the relationship. You might say something like: “I don’t think this is healthy for us. So let’s just stop seeing each other.”

Second, physically stay away from the person. The idea is to stop spiritually ingesting the poison of interacting with them.

Many people hesitate to do the first two steps. For many, true change is quite difficult. I can relate to this. And, I’m providing the below ritual for when you’re truly ready to move on with your life.

Now, it’s time to use what I call the Separation Ritual. This ritual involves disconnecting the astral connections that you and the person made during the relationship.

Unless you take action, you stay connected to the person. How? Your astral bodies remain connected. Negative energy can still be transferred both ways. To protect yourself from these bad energies you must cut all ties from that person. This is where the Separation Ritual comes in.

Ideally, the person would participate in a Separation Ritual with you. That often does not happen. So you take an object that will stand in for the person. This object could be a picture or even a teddy bear, if the person likes teddy bears.

Use a length of yarn or piece of red string, which represents the connections you have between you and the toxic person. Red is for the life force but you can uses another color if you think that would be a better representation.

For this ritual you’ll need both your athame (to cast your circle) and a boline, which is a white handle knife used specifically for cutting physical objects during ritual.

Important: Athames are used to cut energy. Bolines are used to cut physical objects.

Here are the steps of True Separation:

  1. Verbally end the relationship
  2. Stay away from the person.
  3. Ground yourself.
  4. Cast circle.
  5. Do the Separation Ritual (see below).
  6. Do the Cakes and Wine ritual.
  7. Close the circle.
  8. Finally continue to have no contact with the toxic person.

You will need your usual ritual items to cast circle and your altar. As I mentioned you will also have a length of yarn or piece of red string. The yarn/string must be long enough to encircle your own waist and to encircle the object (that represents the toxic person).

The Separation Ritual

Take the object. First, your will asperge it. Asperge means to sprinkle the holy water with your fingers onto the object.

With the holy water, asperge and say:

I cleanse and consecrate you by water and earth.

Next you will cense the object. Cense means to waft incense smoke over the object.

With the incense smoke, cense and say:

I bless and charge you with air and fire.

Then take the string/yarn and cense and asperge it as well and say:

I cleanse and consecrate you by water and earth.

I bless and charge you with air and fire.

Take the red string/yarn in your hands saying:

Tiny bundle of String/yarn

You are now the same as the bonds between me and Name of person.

Tie one end of the string/yarn to the object and then encircle your waist with the other end of the string/yarn, while you say:

You are the bonds that connect us now.

From me to Name of person and from Name of person to me.

Our connection is by thee.

 

Sit and concentrate on the bond between you both and see it as the string/yarn that now connects you and the object. Once you have a firm connection with that thought, take the boline and cut the string/yarn, seeing in your mind’s eye the astral bonds being cut along with the string/yarn.

Once you complete the cut, say:

I am now free of the ties of Name of person as he/she is of me.

May my happiness expand, and may Name of person’s happiness expand.

Blessed be.

Finish up with the cakes and wine part of the ritual and then close the circle.

And you’re done.

Separating ourselves from toxic people is important for our happiness and well being. It even blesses the life of the other person. You are doing yourself and the other person a favor.

I trust that this ritual will help you be happier and healthier.

Blessings,

Moonwater

Wiccans Handle Stress and Prejudice

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Bring Peace to Yourself

Bring Peace to Yourself

How Wiccans Can Handle Stress and Prejudice

We all deal with stress in our lives. However, members of a minority religion face additional stressors. Many Wiccans and Pagans in general have experienced some form of prejudice and some have even been the victims of hate crimes. These and other terrible acts upon us can really take a toll.

Although I am fortunate to live in the San Francisco Bay Area where there is more acceptance of people with differences, I have still faced prejudice. I have lost friendships and suffered the actions of intolerant people.

So how can we combat the stresses of such actions?

First, assess the situation. Can you educate the offending person? I have been in situations when the offending person thinks he’s right and will hear nothing that differs from his beliefs.

Make sure no one is being harmed. There is a big difference between offensive words and physical violence. One may need to take action. Maybe you need to quickly get to a place of safety. One might even have to call 911 for police intervention.

Take care of your own feelings. Before I get caught up in an aggression tornado, I remember to simply breathe. Concentrating on your breath is a great way to help yourself calm down. Then you can take control of the words that come out of your mouth. You can’t control what they say, but you can control what you say and do.

Find your way to compassion. The Gods and Goddesses love their children (all of them) so become the Goddess in her nurturing state. Let her energy flow within you. Let the Goddess help you select your words. Avoid words that sting, instead say something constructive and nurturing to the conversation. How would this sound? One way to respond is: “I heard what you said. That’s not what my life is about. I’m leaving this room.”

When I say compassion, I do not mean let them walk all over you. The idea is to make space in yourself to understand those who are ignorant of your beliefs. They don’t know what they are talking about. To take their words personally gives them power. Do not let that happen. Do not give these untruths any power.

Renew yourself. Once the incident is over, take some time to do a Breathing Meditation. I know how much it helps as a salve to the wounds their words have left.

Find a quiet place where you know you will not be disturbed. Silence your cell phone or home phone. Get comfortable and relax. You can burn some of your favorite incense and light a candle. I find dimming the lights to be helpful.

Here is the process:

As you relax, close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing. Breathing in and out deeply, envision a beautiful white light shinning down and surrounding you. Next, deeply breathe in that light, pulling in the beautiful cleansing properties of it. Hold this breath for the count of three.

When you breathe out, picture a black smoke made of those toxic words, actions and emotions. You expel the black smoke from your body. Imagine the black smoke absorbed and purified by the light around you. After your exhalation, hold your breath for a count of three. This is where you acknowledge the transformation of energy.

Continue this process until you feel you have expelled all of the negative comments/feelings/energies that were placed upon you. Finish this meditation by thanking the Gods for their shinning light.

May this meditation renew you and free you of any negative effects created by prejudice.

Once free of toxins, you can experience the blessings of life with the Gods and Goddesses.

Blessings,

Moonwater

How to Release Yourself from Self-Judgment

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Writing the Book

Writing the Book

How to Release Yourself from Self-Judgment

I never expected to be a writer, but the Gods visited me in a dream. I have dyslexia: Writing was the furthest thing from my imagination. In fact, my degrees are in art and web/graphic design.

But the Gods gave me a task: Write a book for beginners of the Craft that is straightforward and easy to read.

When I awoke, I felt excited but scared about how I could possibly accomplish this book-writing task. I knew the demands of writing a book because I have close friends who are writers.

How could I possibly write enough to fill a whole book?! It was agony to merely read the first book in the Harry Potter series due to my dyslexia.

I started to compare myself to other writers by thinking “I’m not a Scott Cunningham or a Starhawk. What am I to do?

I kept thinking about all the other writers of books I had slowly read. Their books were so good. I couldn’t match that. The anxiety grabbed me in the chest and I had trouble breathing.

But I strongly believe in the Gods. I know the Gods would not set me up to fail. They love me, and if they say I can do it, I can.

The hardest part for me wasn’t the task itself, but the constant comparing that I did, placing myself against other writers.

With all of my misspellings, I took blows to my self-esteem each day. My mind raced with negative thoughts of no one will care about what I have to say; no will read it, and this will never help anyone.

With all this negativity in my mind, it’s a miracle I got anything done.

But I stopped and used many of the techniques I discussed in my last post “The Quick Mood Pick-me-up for Wiccans“.

I slowly began to realize something. I cannot compare myself to anyone else. Why? The book I’m writing is a snapshot in time of me. It’s about my truth. No one can write it for me.

I was so busy comparing myself to others when in reality there is no comparison. There can’t be. I am me, no one else, and all those racing thoughts were not true.

  • Someone will read my book (my editors, for example)
  • People will be able to easily read it because my editors will smooth out any rough sections (I love my editors!)
  • Someone cares about what I have to say (that someone is me!)
  • My book has already helped someone, me.

My book taught me a valuable lesson: Don’t judge or compare yourself to others.

We all have gifts, different levels of ability. These combinations make us unique and strong. No one else has our particular knowledge and unique set of talents, and this makes each of us special.

Comparing my special to your special cannot be done. It’s like comparing strawberries and octopi. Because our experiences in life are all slightly or dramatically different (as in different cultures). You just can’t compare the two. They are not the same.

All I need to do is remember strawberries and octopi.

You’re special. Drop comparing yourself to others.

Bring your own special gifts to bear.

The Gods love you and enjoy when you express your creativity.

Blessings,

Moonwater

The Quick Mood Pick-me-up for Wiccans

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Sitting in a field

Sitting in a field

The Quick Mood Pick-me-up for Wiccans

A short time before a 4th of July fireworks display was set to start, I sat in a field watching children running, jumping and playing nearby. Their joyful shouts rang in my ears. And an idea arose in my thoughts: I wish I could just let go like these children and be free from the drudgery of life.

We all have our moments of sadness, some more than others. Oh to be carefree and happy like a child!

So I came up with the Quick Mood Pick-me-up for Wiccans. As some of you may know, I battle depression everyday and these techniques can be a lifesaver when in a downer mood. It may not make you as perky and carefree as a happy child, but it will certainly move your mood in a better direction to help you get out of a low mood.

The Quick Mood Pick-me-up for Wiccans

A) Lay down in a field of living grass

Laying in grass is relaxing. Further, it’s easier for some people to let go when they have more bodily contact with the earth. The process is simple:

  • Concentrate on the ground beneath you.
  • Let any negative energy flow from you into the ground. Imagine the ground is a sponge, sucking the negative energy from your body and cleansing the body.
  • Take deep breaths and let your body relax.

Let Goddess take away all your worries and fears.

B) Light a candle

If you have racing thoughts, simply light a candle and concentrate on the flame. This can ease your mind.

  • Cast a circle and place the candle in front of you. You can bless and consecrate it. Make your ritual as simple or as elaborate as you prefer.
  • Relax and watch the flame.
  • Breathe slowly and imagine sending your thoughts into the flame to be cleansed from your mind. In this way, you empty your mind of your troubled thoughts.

C) Hug a tree

I know this must sound a little silly, but hugging a tree is a great way to shunt negative energy into the earth. Any tree will gladly help you.

  • Wrap your arms around the tree.
  • Take three deep breaths in and let the tree absorb your negative energy. The tree will do the rest.

Trees naturally shunt energy into the earth. This makes them a great resource for our  imbalances in life.

D) Take a walk in the woods

This is one of the easier practices and it’s great exercise. Remember what I shared about trees. In fact just being around trees (and nature) reduces stress. Fear not city dwellers, a park will work just as well. Take deep breaths and relax. Look at your surroundings and see the Gods in all the flowers and trees. Know that you are not alone in your walk, for the Gods walk with you. They support us when no one else can–and even at those times when you might not believe in yourself. The Gods want the best for you.

E) Talk to a friend

Some people find that they allow being busy to deprive them of actually talking with a friend. Don’t let that happen. Talk with a friend and often things appear clearer. Expressing yourself can wash away the stress and pain of the drudgery of day to day living. If you have a High Priest or Priestess talk to him or her. They are there to support you in your journey. This can be a great bonding experience for both of you.

So if you find yourself in a low mood, remember the Quick Mood Pick-me-up for Wiccans techniques. I hope they help you as much as they help me.

Blessed be,

Moonwater SilverClaw

Wicca Supports Warm, Loving Marriages

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Love and Marriage

Love and Marriage

Wicca Supports Warm, Loving Marriages

Wiccans use the phrase “As long as love shall last” in their marriage ceremonies called handfastings. What does this mean? Let’s look at a definition of love. Webster’s Dictionary defines love as something that “suggests very great fondness or deep devotion for someone or some thing.”

I will go a step further and describe love as a commitment to the well-being of another person. We can be temporarily angry with a loved one but still retain a full commitment to his or her well-being.

Love remains the reason we get married in the first place. Wiccans do two things. They celebrate the value of love and they hold the realistic idea that it sometimes does not last in some relationships.

Some mainstream religions push the idea that marriage is always “until death do you part.” This bothers me. Is a loveless marriage helpful? For anyone? What does it say to children? Your mother and I hate each other, you get to have such a bitter relationship, too.

The religions who push marriage regardless of love keep saying “a commitment to the institution of marriage.” The institution is more important than the people? (Personally I try to stay out of institutions.)

Wiccans believe you stay together (are married) as long as love shall last. It can last for a year or perhaps a lifetime and beyond. You are not shackled to a person merely because someone or some institution said so.

No one should be made to stay in a loveless relationship. It can only harm the participants. As with all relationships, a marriage is here to teach us lessons in life. If we have learned all we need to (spiritually, that is) from a particular relationship, it is likely that it is time to transform the relationship. You could remain friends, for example. Otherwise, we may be stunting our spiritual growth. Let’s face it. Sometimes, we literally need to move on and away from a person. Think of it. Are all of your childhood friends still your best friends?

This is one reason we add as long as love shall last to our handfastings.

Blessed Be,

Moonwater SilverClaw

Wicca Celebrates Sex!

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Sex and Lovemaking

Sex and Lovemaking

Wicca and Sex

Have you noticed that many mainstream religions seem to have major hang-ups about sex? These faiths have many rules regarding sex. They tell you when you can and especially when you can’t have sex. They often say sex is “sinful” and “dirty.” They even suggest that the “truly righteous completely abstain from such deplorable practices.”

These rigid mindsets have twisted much of society concerning sex. Although sex helps us feel happy and healthy, so many religions deny their practitioners of fulfilling this fundamental need.

On the other hand, in Wicca, the Gods show us sex as a beautiful part of life. Not something to be ashamed of or avoided. Just notice how sexuality and sensuality are celebrated. You have Aphrodite, a joyful, sexy goddess. Think of the randy energy of Pan. How about the stories and songs about Venus (yes, another name for Aphrodite)?

There are many forms of sex, for example, the activities shared by some friends. Here I’ll be specific and talk about lovemaking. Wiccans have understood the precious gift of lovemaking from the beginning. They see it for what it truly is: something sacred. To make love is a pure act and to Wiccans we are reenacting the divine ritual between the God and the Goddess. This ritual can be for procreation or for pleasure. Whichever one chooses, the act itself is a powerful and sacred bond that connects the participants to all of creation.

When I hear of some religions’ intolerance of certain forms of lovemaking and certain partners, it deeply saddens me. Such intolerance denies the beauty of creating and cherishing another. Such intolerance creates separation and the chained people are separated from the wholeness of the universe.

Wiccans revere the sexual act as deeply sacred. We see it in its rightful place among the other cycles in the turning of the wheel.

Sex is not evil. Lovemaking is not dirty or sinful. It is a part of our sacred lives. Practiced by caring, loving, consenting, of age people, it is a part of human nature, and a gift from the Gods.

Blessings,

Moonwater SilverClaw

Using Herbs for Magick at Midsummer (Litha)

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The Herb Catnip

The Herb Catnip

Using Herbs for Magick at Midsummer (Litha)

Many Wiccans enjoy harvesting and drying herbs at Midsummer, also known as Litha. At its annual height of power, the Sun (representing the God) makes the herbs quite powerful at this time. Wiccans recognize that herbs, so empowered, are best harvested during the Litha Sabbat.

We harvest flowers and plants and hang them to dry during Litha.

Warning: Never use plants that have had pesticides and other chemicals sprayed upon them in your practice.

To collect herbs, you will use a boline, a knife with a curved blade and a white handle. Wiccans use this tool for all of their cutting, from harvesting herbs to carving symbols in candles.

To harvest a herb, cut the plant while leaving a long enough stem so you can tie it in a bundle. Then, hang the bundle upside down. In this way, the plant’s energies will be concentrated at the head of the plant, the part you are going to use.

Hang your herbs in a dry place where there is no direct sunlight—to avoid the sun leaching out the essences you’re trying to capture. Use an attic or if none is available just be sure the area you choose is dry.

Once you’re certain that the herbs are thoroughly dried you can take one of two steps. Either grind them with a mortar and pestle or package the whole leaves of the herb. Be sure to use air tight containers, made of either glass or ceramic. These materials will not contaminate your herbs with chemicals like plastic tends to.

Wiccans enjoy using the energies of herbs in their magic.

Consider expanding your use of herbs, too.

Blessed be,

Moonwater SilverClaw

What Makes People Believe?

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What Makes People Believe?

What Makes People Believe?

What Makes People Believe?

Different people accept different things as proof. For example, some of us say, “I won’t believe it until I read reports that provide empirical proof.”

Others need to feel the energy to know it’s true. Some people search for a “cause and effect.”

A few report that they have talked to entities around them and have actually heard answers, and that is the basis of what they know is true.

I know my Gods are true because I can both feel them and see the effects they make on the world around me. I feel Their emotions; I know deep down that they love me.

Recently, at a conference I noticed someone’s badge fell to the floor. The person walked on and I strode up and returned the badge. I could feel how this pleased the Gods. And my intuition told me that the Gods inspired the person to thank me by buying me a drink.

I also feel that the Three Fold Law went into immediate effect and I received something nice in return.

To me this is proof that the Gods and the Three Fold Law are real. To another this might seem to be merely coincidence.

I feel and see things happen around me; therefore I know.

How do you know? Are you a Feeler, a Seer or a Hearer?

Perhaps, you’re a combination like me.

What are your criteria for knowing the truth about the Gods?

I invite you to share your thoughts and feelings in the comments box below.

Blessed Be,

Moonwater

Wiccan Traditions

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Traditions the Paths We Walk

Traditions the Paths We Walk

A word on Traditions

What is a “Tradition” in Wicca? It’s commonly called a “Trad,” and it’s a system of rituals and beliefs that a particular group follows. One Trad is Dianic which is known for its worship of a single Goddess and having a focus on feminism.

Another Trad is Gardnerian Wicca. Gardner stated that the New Forest Coven initiated him into their group in 1939. Many consider Gardnerian Wicca to be the earliest Wiccan Trad–from which many other Trads sprouted.

Trads come in many forms. Just like Christianity has many forms, the Trads in Wicca form different groups with different ways of doing things.

I find that the essence of a Trad is that it gets a person closer to Deity.

Unfortunately, much Wiccan knowledge has been fragmented sometimes due to people splitting off before they learned more and deeper knowledge.

At this point, I invite us of the Wiccan spirituality to realize that we all hold pieces of the same picture. However, none of us can see this picture by ourselves because we only hold a few of the original pieces.

We need to all gather together to make a whole picture. Coming together, we will be better able to see our own “missing pieces” and collect these missing pieces of knowledge. Then we can restore our own pieces to the larger puzzle.

If we don’t do this, much of what was learned and known will be forgotten. This piecing back together of the puzzle is something we all need to do. If we don’t, we may lose something very dear.

So let’s keep our community strong! Let’s get to know each other and respect our differences because there’s something to learn from someone different.

Blessings,

Moonwater SilverClaw