How to Release Yourself from Self-Judgment
I never expected to be a writer, but the Gods visited me in a dream. I have dyslexia: Writing was the furthest thing from my imagination. In fact, my degrees are in art and web/graphic design.
But the Gods gave me a task: Write a book for beginners of the Craft that is straightforward and easy to read.
When I awoke, I felt excited but scared about how I could possibly accomplish this book-writing task. I knew the demands of writing a book because I have close friends who are writers.
How could I possibly write enough to fill a whole book?! It was agony to merely read the first book in the Harry Potter series due to my dyslexia.
I started to compare myself to other writers by thinking “I’m not a Scott Cunningham or a Starhawk. What am I to do?
I kept thinking about all the other writers of books I had slowly read. Their books were so good. I couldn’t match that. The anxiety grabbed me in the chest and I had trouble breathing.
But I strongly believe in the Gods. I know the Gods would not set me up to fail. They love me, and if they say I can do it, I can.
The hardest part for me wasn’t the task itself, but the constant comparing that I did, placing myself against other writers.
With all of my misspellings, I took blows to my self-esteem each day. My mind raced with negative thoughts of no one will care about what I have to say; no will read it, and this will never help anyone.
With all this negativity in my mind, it’s a miracle I got anything done.
But I stopped and used many of the techniques I discussed in my last post “The Quick Mood Pick-me-up for Wiccans“.
I slowly began to realize something. I cannot compare myself to anyone else. Why? The book I’m writing is a snapshot in time of me. It’s about my truth. No one can write it for me.
I was so busy comparing myself to others when in reality there is no comparison. There can’t be. I am me, no one else, and all those racing thoughts were not true.
- Someone will read my book (my editors, for example)
- People will be able to easily read it because my editors will smooth out any rough sections (I love my editors!)
- Someone cares about what I have to say (that someone is me!)
- My book has already helped someone, me.
My book taught me a valuable lesson: Don’t judge or compare yourself to others.
We all have gifts, different levels of ability. These combinations make us unique and strong. No one else has our particular knowledge and unique set of talents, and this makes each of us special.
Comparing my special to your special cannot be done. It’s like comparing strawberries and octopi. Because our experiences in life are all slightly or dramatically different (as in different cultures). You just can’t compare the two. They are not the same.
All I need to do is remember strawberries and octopi.
You’re special. Drop comparing yourself to others.
Bring your own special gifts to bear.
The Gods love you and enjoy when you express your creativity.