Ever find that your Inner Critic beats you up emotionally?
Some of us ask, “What’s an Inner Critic?” That’s the part of you that won’t give you a break. Instead of saying, “You made a mistake,” the Inner Critic says, “What the hell is the matter with you?”
The Inner Critic is a voice inside you that kicks you when you’re down.
Here is a Self-Affirmation Chant to help you exert your inner power.
Self-Affirmation Chant
Inner critic, listen up, You don’t think I make the cut. Listen now and listen good, Just stop pushing “should.” I silence you from ruining my day, Now my Higher Spirit has the last say. Confidence and good thoughts surround me, As I so will, So Mote it Be.
May you guide your Inner Critic to quiet down.
Demote the Inner Critic to just a member of your committee of voices in your thoughts.
Invite the Gods to enhance the power of your Higher Spirit.
How is life going for you? Are you feeling pressured with work, family, friends, and personal pursuits?
If so, I’m with you. It can be hard to prioritize what to do when obligations weigh heavily on your shoulders.
Then, I had an intuitive nudge. It’s embodied in this question: How would Goddess help me prioritize for my enjoying a fulfilling life?”
Goddess wants you to grow
Goddess wants all Her children to grow. This means learning our lessons and conquering our fears.
What kind of lessons? This varies by the individual. You set up your goals for your lessons before you were born. These lessons can be things like forgiveness, handling fear, or finding love for yourself.
Goddess encourages you to prioritize your health and safety
I realize that I have sometimes, faltered about my own health. Sometimes, I’ve hesitated to go to the Emergency Room when my asthma was overwhelming.
How about you? Are you prioritizing your health? Good sleep, good nutrition, time devoted to nurturing your relationships …
Let’s remember that Goddess wants us to care for ourselves. After all, our bodies are the temples of the Gods. Goddess wants us to be healthy and happy while we are on this earth.
Goddess wants a better connection with you
Sometimes, I get the impression that Goddess might say, “It’d be nice if you called once in a while.” How? We can do ritual and have meditation sessions to connect with the Goddess and God. Even a 5-minute meditation session is better than nothing.
Along these lines, my new book Goddess Has the Answers to Life’s Tough Problems just debuted on Amazon. CLICK HERE to “look inside” my 9th book. For many of us, “9” is a sacred number, and I feel great about this book! I know that many readers will find support to grow and pick up insights that we, Wiccans, have discovered over the decades.
“Why is it getting worse?” my friend, Stephanie, said.
“I know there’s a lot happening. Anything in particular?” I replied.
“More violence in this country!” Stephanie said. And, this began a significant conversation.
What if Goddess Serves as Your Source of Certainty?
Is it possible to be certain of anything, anymore? Some people complain, “Unbelievable. I could not even imagine that people in leadership positions would be so … disgusting.”
I’ve learned that there is value in seeing ourselves as “spiritual beings having a human experience.”
As many of you know, I believe in the Summerlands, a place of love and peace in between the times we incarnate. We return and incarnate into a new body, and the lessons begin. We use our bodies as a user-interface for our spiritual being to learn lessons on this physical plane.
I realize that it can be tough to see this spiritual level when we’re in the midst of suffering and confusion. It’s as if we’re wearing “human-tinted glasses.” I suggest that we pause and consider looking at our lives from Goddess’s perspective. Goddess knows.
A Source of Comfort
Sometimes, I return to The Charge of the Goddess for inspiration and comfort.
“Let my worship be within the heart that rejoiceth, for behold: all acts of love and pleasure are my rituals. And therefore, let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, honor and humility, mirth and reverence within you.” – Doreen Valiente (speaking in the voice of the Goddess—from The Charge of the Goddess)
A couple of meanings rise up for me with the above quote.
Notice the phrase “all acts of love and pleasure are my rituals,” and see that the Goddess gives us the answer. We can derive comfort in honoring Her with our compassion, reverence, humility and more. Acts of kindness and beauty honor the Goddess and make us feel good.
A Prayer
Dear Goddess Release me from my stale, limited beliefs And give me compassion and mirth in heaps. Acts of love and Acts of pleasure. I honor You in this way forever.
May the ideas expressed here comfort you and invite you to listen to your heart. May compassion for others flourish in your heart.
Here is some good news—some comforting news: Goddess is with you through your entire journey.
“I have been with thee from the beginning; and I am that which is attained at the end of desire.” – Doreen Valiente (speaking in the voice of the Goddess—from The Charge of the Goddess)
The last part of the above quote has a couple of meanings to me. “I am that which is attained at the end of desire” implies that the Goddess’s love is what you receive at the end of your life. I believe we go to the Summerlands at the end of this life. You get to rest and enjoy time with your family and friends. The Gods will be there to give you love and support.
Another meaning is that the “end of desire” is actually a revelation that it is Goddess’s love that we really want. By this I mean, that what we want, including inner peace, joy, fun and comfort, are all manifestations of Goddess’s love. One of my friends recently bought a high-end, new car. What did he want? Some form of fulfillment. A car or a hug is just an expression of the blessings from Goddess. We notice that the car or a hug opens the door to good feelings.
Here is a prayer for times when you’re feeling overwhelmed.
A Prayer
Lord and Lady Give me strength To be compassionate to myself. From that well may I draw The love of the Gods to Persevere on my path And be kind to others.
So Mote It Be.
May this prayer empower you to joy and fulfillment,
“Sometimes, it feels like there’s so much going on and friendships can get hurt along the way. I mean—we all get stressed out,” my friend, Joyce, said. “I’m wondering if there is a magickal way to strengthen a friendship.”
I gave this a lot of thought, and here is a True Friends Spell.
What you will need:
One pink candle
Candle-holder
Rose Incense
Rose oil
Two rings
Ritual tools
Cast Circle in the usual manner.
Dress your candle by rubbing your oil from tip to base. Cleanse and consecrate your candle and rings. Place the pink candle on your altar in its holder. Place the rings by the candle. Take your friend’s hands and both of you say over the rings together:
I swear upon my soul,
Honesty, love, and kindness I shall show.
I State my true name (_each state your name_),
That I am a true friend to you through and through.
That I will be most honest with you,
As I so will, so mote it be!!
Each person places a ring on the other person’s hand other and says:
True friends, true as can be.
Together now so mote it be!
Do the Cakes and Wine Ceremony
Close your Circle
May this True Friends Spell strengthen your bond with your close friend.
Recently a reader asked me: What does the Wiccan Rede “An ye harm none, do what ye will” mean to you? Is it a law, or is it advice?
If you look at the word “rede” it means to give advice to; counsel.
When I look at the Wiccan Rede, An ye harm none, do what ye will, I view it as sage counsel that is given to us.
Advice fits certain situations. Still, other situations call for using a different approach.
How about self-defense? If you do no harm, like block the attack and cause the opponent’s arm to sting, you would be allowing more harm to come upon you.
So, I don’t view the Wiccan Rede as a law, in part because one cannot live up to it. It is impossible to harm none. We eat, we use chemicals to kill germs as we clean our homes, and we brush our teeth. In all of those activities, something’s going to die.
The Wiccan Rede can serve as advice to live a good life, to be kind and loving whenever we can. I have found that the universe will return the same positive energy—perhaps, in another form.
I had another thought. A number of Wiccans suggest that a principle of the universe is grow or die. If we live by the Wiccan Rede as advice, we have the appropriate freedom to grow. As I view material about the #metoo movement, I notice a number of things. It’s reported that the #metoo movement began and continues (as their website states): “The me too. movement has built a community of survivors from all walks of life. By bringing vital conversations about sexual violence into the mainstream, we’re helping to de-stigmatize survivors by highlighting the breadth and impact sexual violence has on thousands of women, and we’re helping those who need it to find entry points to healing.”
The #metoo website continues: “Our goal is also to reframe and expand the global conversation around sexual violence to speak to the needs of a broader spectrum of survivors. Young people, queer, trans, and disabled folks, Black women and girls, and all communities of color. We want perpetrators to be held accountable and we want strategies implemented to sustain long term, systemic change.”
In a conversation with a number of learned friends, we talked about how any social change has associated pain. Social change does not land in “an it harm none.” People who speak out may lose jobs or worse. One of my friends said, “People, that is, individuals make a decision that the social change is worth the adjustment period.”
As I thought more about this, I found this to be valuable: Strive to do as little harm as you can. Be helpful and be kind when possible to all humans, plants, or entities alike.
“So, what is it that you want?” I asked my friend, Samantha.
“I’d just like to be a bit happier. Is that asking too much?” she asked.
Later, her question started off a lot of conversations between my husband and me. I talked with some friends about happiness, too.
My thought is it would be terrific for Wiccans to have a spell to increase happiness.
But then I realized that what comprises happiness is different for every person. So, my husband and I came up with a list of Elements of Happiness that include contentment, joy, fulfillment and satisfaction.
Perhaps, you’re like me and find that you really don’t have days when your joyful moments comprise more than 50% of the day. There’s a reason in my case: I have clinical depression symptoms. This can be a problem in terms of “Can I ever be happy?”
Do you ever ask yourself, “Can I be happy?”
My husband tossed in an idea: “Maybe, some people have a definition of happiness that doesn’t allow them to ever be happy.”
We all need balance, and it might be helpful to look at all four elements and then fine tune your approach for yourself—to fit your needs. So, I looked up some definitions of these elements:
Elements of Happiness
Joy: the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires. [This is about moment-to-moment feelings.]
Fulfillment: the achievement of something desired, promised, or predicted.
Contentment: the act of feeling or showing satisfaction with one’s possessions, status, or situation. [I’ve thought about contentment as related to sitting still and feeling at peace.]
Satisfaction: the state of being pleased or content with what has been experienced or received.
Then I set out to create a general spell to help Wiccans create or enhance their happiness however they define it.
A Spell for Happiness
What you will need:
1 orange candle
Candle holder
Rose oil
Dragon’s Blood incense
Ritual tools
Sea salt
Some of your favorite food and drink (for the Cakes and Wine Ceremony)
Lavender flowers (for the ritual bath)
Clean towel
Altar
Clean robe
Take a ritual bath:
On a full or waxing moon, bathe to wash all the physical dirt from your body. Then draw a new bath and put three tablespoons of sea salt into the water. Soak in the water and think of all the negative energy being absorbed by the salt water. Breathe in and out deeply. Relax… Take your time.
Use a clean towel to dry off. Put on a clean robe.
Next, go to your room and clear a space and place your small simple table (this will be your altar) in the center. Place the candle in the middle of the altar. Additionally, set up your small water bowl, sea salt bowl, and food and drink on either the side of the candle.
Cast circle in your usual manner.
Place the tip of your athame in the bowl of water and say:
I cleanse and consecrate thee, Water, that you are pure and clean.
Put the tip of your athame into the bowl of salt and say:
I cleanse and consecrate thee, Salt, that you are pure and clean.
Put three pinches of the blessed sea salt into the bowl of water and stir clockwise (using your index finger).
Asperge the candle with the holy water and say:
I cleanse and consecrate thee, Candle, that you are pure and clean.
Waft the candle with the incense smoke and say:
I charge you with air and fire.
Time to dress your candle: This means that you take the rose oil and rub it onto the candle from wick to the base of the candle. Carve the word “happiness” on the candle and place in the candle holder.
Put the candle into the candle holder, light it, and then say:
I now open my arms out wide Perking up my internal pride The blues that surround me go away So peace and happiness are here to stay! Happiness, peace, and love within Reside deeply and ever herein As I so will, So Mote It Be!
Do the Cakes and Wine Ceremony.
Close the Circle.
When you are ready, place the candle in a safe place and let the candle burn completely out. [Do NOT leave an untended candle. Stay safe.]
“I’m stuck. I keep ruminating on how that person betrayed me,” my friend, Leena, said. “If I could just get past this—get beyond this.”
I listened with concern for my friend.
Becoming a High Priestess, I worked for years to learn oath-bound rituals to transcend my earthly concerns. It took a lot of work, but with private rituals, I have discovered how to deeply connect with the Goddess.
Wicca is a path of transcendence, which refers to “existence or experience beyond the normal or physical level.”
Beyond the normal … are we referring to positive or negative experiences?
Perhaps, like me, you’ve experienced some downright horrible events in your life. The good news is that, through Wicca, we can move beyond darkness to that which includes love and light. We have the power to use magick, and we can invite the God and Goddess to help us rise above the darkness of our negative past experiences.
Maybe, you’ve heard the term transformation a number of times. To transform however is to change in character or condition.
I have looked upon transformation as something that requires a lot of effort.
Remember, transcendence is something different. As we noted, it is beyond the normal or physical level. Think of it like this: Transcendence can happen in an instant. For example, some time ago, in the middle of one of my meditation sessions, the God and Goddess appeared to me. This was not something I “forced” or “transformed.” Instead, it was an experience that just manifested. I flowed into beyond the normal or physical.
So, what does this all boil down to?
Transcendence is something you invite, and you do not force.
Here is a prayer that you can use to create transcendence in your life by changing bad experiences into good emotions.
Transcendence Prayer
By love and light, By Old Ones’ might! I ask for Transcendence of my (name of difficulty) in Your Name. May You take it and make it tame. That You turn it into love and light, So I will be all right! Let there be a shift in me, from darkness into light. Let transcendence lift me and take flight. By all the powers of the Sun, Moon and in Old Ones’ Name, Keep me safe and keep me sane. Keep me above the dark waters that I tread within my mind. Let me leave my heartache and sorrow behind. Create growth for me and my life with no end. Through every hill and bend. Pain and fear from (name of difficulty) abate, So I have only a good fate. This (name of difficulty) does not define me! It does not hinder or take me! The love of the Lord and Lady ever fills me, As I so will, So Mote It Be!
May this prayer carry you forward and help you transcend that which held you back.
Often, I’m asked about how Wiccans can really support their relationship with God and Goddess and deepen their Wiccan spiritual practice.
I often share The Three Elements to Improve Your Wiccan Practice.
What do you want to accomplish?
The whole point in much of Wicca is being close to the Gods. All the ritual we do, all the meditating we do—it’s about getting to the ecstatic state of being closer to the Source.
Do you want to start a meditation practice? Or how about doing more ritual each week? In creating a daily practice, you first have to figure out what you’re going to do.
Maybe you want to hone your magickal skills.
Here’s the first thing to consider: Start with something easy. Avoid setting yourself up to fail.
Start with something simple. You could do a simple candle lighting ceremony, for example.
How much time do you have?
Here’s the good news: Whatever time you have, you can make your Wiccan spiritual practice better.
Some examples:
1 minute – say a prayer or chant (out loud)
3 to 5 minutes – Have a brief meditation session.
30 minutes – Do a simple ritual. Perhaps, include a candle lighting ceremony and some meditation.
1 hour – Do a formal ritual.
The more time you have, the more you can do. Just remember to pace yourself.
Even if you have only a short time to spare, you can still get big benefits. How? Practice will help you hone whatever skill/discipline you are trying to work with.
Even doing a three-minute meditation session will bring you results over time.
How will you log it?
Logging your practice is crucial. If you do not log your actions, you really don’t know if you’re making any progress.
Some people use a diary. Diaries are great to log what you did, the duration of your practice, and what the outcome was.
What if you don’t like to write? No problem. You can use your smartphone to record your progress. You can pick an app to log your efforts.
Otherwise, you can simply mark a paper-based calendar on the days you successfully complete your practice.
Wiccans also find that having another Wiccan as your “accountability buddy” helps.
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In summary, you can accomplish much even with a short time—when you do things daily. Use The Three Elements to Improve Your Wiccan Practice.
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