Security—what is it? Is it a home, a job, or family? If that’s security, what if these things are taken away? What then?
My friend Bob lives with his parents. He is disabled and so he can’t manage to live on his own. He also needs the support of his family to help him with day to day activities such as cooking and cleaning. To him, his living situation with his family is a place of security. However, last week he was told by his father that he had to move out. This pulled the rug of security right out from under him.
Bob was terrified.
Here’s another example: Janet has to keep her Wiccan faith a secret from her family who subscribe to another religion. One day, at a family gathering her pentacle pendent fell out of her blouse. Aghast, her mother called her father and together they yelled and drove her from the gathering. Her parents and other relatives disowned her. That was their word, disowned.
Now, Janet cries–at different times during the day. Sometimes, she flees to the restroom, when she’s at work. She used to believe that her family was her bedrock. No more.
What happens when our sense of security is taken? Where do we go? Did we really lose security?
I say security isn’t a place. It’s not a thing, and it’s not a family tie. The truth is: Things change. We can’t rely on these things for our security.
So where is security found?
True security is found in our hearts and minds. It is found in our faith, and it resides with the Gods who walk beside us everyday.
The Gods do not waver. They are constant, eternal, all encompassing.
So let’s face it. Security is not in the material. True security is in the spirit.
You can call on your true security anytime and anyplace. The great thing about being Wiccan is that you can create your temple anywhere by casting your circle.
More than that, you can recite a blessing in your own thoughts.
Here is a blessing that you can recite to yourself:
Patti Wigington defines a “Fluffy Bunny” as: “In general, ‘fluffy bunny,’ or ‘fluffbunny,’ is a derogatory term used to apply to members of the Pagan community who (1) insist that they know everything they need to know, (2) often make blanket statements about what ‘real Pagans’ do and don’t do, and (3) flat-out refuse to acknowledge that people who think differently from them can be Pagan, too.”
If someone thinks they know everything they need to know, they can make serious mistakes. Such arrogance can lead to physical danger. For example, I once read a book that talked about grinding certain stones, putting them in water and drinking the water. Do NOT do this! The rocks may contain traces of harmful compounds like arsenic or other poisonous substances.
Further, grinding stones with a high silicon composition is like grinding up glass. Drinking such a solution will turn your insides into hamburger. Again, don’t do it!
Watch out about herbs, too. Avoid just taking the advice of one book. Check in with an elder or mentor (or two or three). Do NOT experiment on yourself!
By definition, Fluffy Bunnies aren’t doing research. They can fall into believing mixed up notions. For example, Wicca is NOT the TV show Charmed.
The truth is: Wicca and Paganism have a real history throughout time. It’s valuable to study such history and avoid being misguided by something created merely for entertainment. I have heard a number of people saying that Fluffy Bunnies have a bad reputation for talking about things in an “everything is butterflies and unicorns” manner.
Fluffy Bunnies, as Patti noted, often make blanket statements about what “real Pagans” do and don’t do.
I note that sometimes Wicca and Paganism appear like herding cats. Everyone has their own ideas of what is the right way. I am Gardnerian, a British tradition. Does that make someone in the Feri tradition wrong? No.
Here’s a way to view the situation. Let’s say you have a potato. Every tradition cooks the potato differently. One may dice the potato, fry it and enjoy fries. Others mash the potato. Still, others may bake the potato and leave it whole. Does this mean that one is better than the others? No. The people all cooked the potato.
The outcome was the same, just the preparation was different.
Now, one might say that Fluffy Bunnies are merely cooking the potato in their own way. Fair enough. However, with this article, I’ve pointed out some details that we, as Wiccans, need to view with great care.
Have you ever felt bothered by how media pushes that people need to be “young and beautiful”?
You may have noticed that Wicca pushes back against media in that Wicca honors and respects our elders.
Have you also noticed how the Western World seems to overlook the merits of tempered wisdom and instead favors youth?
Wicca acknowledges that for our species, youth is life. Youth is fertility and health. Wicca also acknowledges that, as one lives, wisdom can blossom. Wisdom arose as early people learned which berries were safe to eat and what plants could heal. With wisdom we not only survived, we thrived. Wicca acknowledges the value of both youth and elders’ wisdom. Elders have traveled the path of life ahead of us. They can help us do better on our personal path if we care to listen.
Just like youthful strong bodies can get hard work done, elders have the wisdom of knowing how to work smart.
This is important for survival.
In past eras, without the wisdom of the elders, people couldn’t survive. Because of this we valued our elders.
However, as time passed, we notice that technology appears to make elders’ advice and experience less relevant. With life moving as fast as it does, many of us would rather read something on the Internet, than talk to an elder. I get that. I love tech; I’m a blogger after all. But with all the bells and whistles technology has, we still need our humanity for us to really learn.
It’s like reading about the Titanic disaster in a book as opposed to actually talking with a survivor who lived through the experience. The survivor will be able to tell you the visceral experience they had along with other crucial information that a book just can’t convey.
We pick up so much in nonverbal cues: The look on a person’s face, the tonality of their voice, and the pace in which they speak.
Think of it: Storytelling has been such a valuable part of humanity’s life. We learn so much because we actually experience the truth of a situation while we experience a person telling a story.
In the Western World we have forgotten the important distinction of experience versus merely reading some facts conveyed in a barren form on the Internet.
The good news is: Wiccans — like a number of Eastern cultures — have retained wisdom. As Wiccans, we understand that we need both the vitality and virility of youth, but it must be tempered with wisdom and knowledge for survival and even enhancing one’s path in life.
Wiccans know that to travel a spiritual path you need wisdom to know where to tread and where not to tread. Elders can talk with you about life, if not current technology. They can talk with you about the people who make technology. They can provide the patience and understanding about tough issues like loss and grief. They can even help you appreciate the joys of life.
I invite you to consider elders as another resource. They can guide you in ways that something you read just can’t.
Wiccans know that there is more to life than tech. Some wisdom and learning only comes from having lived through tough experiences.
See how you might connect with appropriate elders.
Are you less than jolly this time of year? Tired of hearing how happy you’re supposed to be during the holidays? Do you just want more peace during this stressful time?
Some of us find it a hardship to see relatives who don’t share our spiritual beliefs.
Many Wiccans and Pagans stay in the broom closet (in hiding) from family and friends. Why? Rejection. Some families even banish pagan relatives. This banishment would result if they discovered our hearts and minds are with the Gods. It’s just too much of a risk of loss for many to bear. In some communities, one may even fear retaliation by one’s own family.
I know some pagans who don’t face such consequences and who practice freely. These fortunate pagans told me that the others are “cowards” for hiding. It bothers me to witness such lack of compassion for others’ pain and problems.
How do we cope with such adversity?
Being in the broom closet is not a bad thing. For some, it is a necessity for keeping their job and family.
So how do we keep the peace in our own hearts this holiday season while in the closet? How do we still honor the Gods during the holidays with family? Here are a few suggestions:
Wear a pagan pendent under your shirt. (Just make sure that it can’t fall out and be seen by unfriendly eyes.)
Light a candle (while saying a silent prayer) and place it on the mantel or other place of prominence in your own home.
Take a ritual bath before a gathering and honor the Gods. You’ll feel better.
Bring a bottle of your favorite drink (mead is mine) to a gathering.
Anoint yourself with sacred oil and keep your intentions of love and peace for the Yule holiday close to you.
These actions can be done in the broom closet and need not require permission from any unsympathetic family members.
And for that extra touch of magick here is a simple blessing you can say for yourself for holiday gatherings.
By the Gods and the four quarters might,
May this blessing be just right.
May the Gods love be in my heart,
May my heart be the center for my kindness,
May my kindness be a guide for my compassion,
May my compassion be an action of love in this world,
And may my action of love in this world bring peace to all at this time.
So mote it be.
How do you plan to celebrate this Yule Sabbat? Are there any ideas you would like to share? Let me know by using the comments box.
Blessings,
Moonwater
I wanted to take a moment and pass this vital message on to you from one of my mentors, Patrick McCollum. What the Patrick McCollum Foundation does is truly important to our community and around the world. If you think you can help, please contact Nell Rose.
Patrick leads march for preserving the Ganges and the Planet. 5000 children participated
“Patrick is quickly becoming one of the foremost voices in our world on the topics of creating world peace and sustaining all people. His message inspires audiences to recognize our inherent interconnection through a common narrative, which gives us greater access to envisioning and creating a common goal: a world that works for everyone. Patrick talked about some of the incredible things that have happened to him over the last 3 and a half years and I wanted to take a moment to review these once again:
Buddhist spiritual leaders in Thailand have named Patrick the “World Inner Peace Ambassador”.
He was an honored guest speaker at the World Culture Forum in Kazakhstan 2010 where he spoke on the importance of our harmonious connection with Nature and with each other.
He has been initiated as a Saint in India and given the name ‘Babaji’, meaning ‘Revered Father’
He has also been honored as the ‘King of Peace’ by renowned Tibetan Buddhist Rinpoche’s in our world, among receiving other titles of similar caliber.
In 2011 he was honored with receiving the Mahatma Gandhi Award for Religious Pluralism.
Last January, Patrick was invited to lead the opening prayer at the Maha Kumba Mela in India, a spiritual gathering that attracted over 100 million people.
In February, Patrick will be giving a blessing and be a part of the Maha Yaga in India.
In March he will be doing a workshop in Maui with Ram Dass.
Patrick’s teachings have helped many seekers make sense of the world and deepen their connection to Mother Earth and the Universe with an open heart in the wholeness of Love and Reality.
We are currently in an active fund raising program to help further Patrick’s work. We are attempting to raise $100,000.00 to create a digital media library to preserve the teachings of Patrick, and other like-minded spiritual teachers, update our web site, and help cover the cost of travel to the many events Patrick will attending and spreading his massage in creating peace bridges between countries and people, to help him to continue inspiring youth, to support women’s rights, religious equality and to continue to archive his spiritual practices and teachings, and for general overhead to help support and build a stronger Foundation.
We are also currently running an indiegogo campaign for Patrick for his upcoming Maha Yaga trip. If you could please send this to any list or social networking sites that you may be a part of to get the message out.
If you can contribute financially in some way that would be wonderful. Please contact me so I might provide further details on our Fundraising Goals and how you can help.”
How did you find the Wiccan faith? Was it through a personal connection or was it through a book or website?
Wiccans until recently were hard to find. Many followers of the path work in secret, in the shadows. Why have all the secrecy?
This secrecy was vital because throughout history and even to this present day Wiccans (and other pagans) have been and continue to be discriminated against.
Face it, we are still a minority faith in this world. Most practitioners prefer to stay in the shadows because of the possibility of retaliation and prejudice found in family, school, work, and the general public. We know too well that there are general misconceptions and fear about the Craft. So many Wiccans practice in the shadow. (After all, I call my blog and my book The Hidden Children of the Goddess.)
So how is one to find a reliable teacher while so many teachers practice in the shadows?
You need some initial education. Books can be a great way to start. Read a bunch of books and you will start to see a pattern. Your intuition will alert you to who really knows valuable material and who may be offering faulty information.
Here is a good reading list to start your path. Those of you who have been on the path for a time may want to revisit some of these books. It’s important to have a good foundation in the Craft before moving on to the more advanced practices.
Ferrar, Janet and Stewart. Eight Sabbats for Witches, Revised Edition. Phoenix Publishing, WA, 1988.
Ferrar, Janet and Stewart. The Witches’ God: Lord of the Dance. Phoenix Publishing, WA, 1989.
Ferrar, Janet and Stewart. The Witches’ Goddess: The Feminine Principle of Divinity. Phoenix Publishing, WA, 1987.
Ferrar, Stewart. What Witches Do. Robert Hale, 2010.
Fitch, Ed. A Grimoire of Shadows: Witchcraft, Paganism & Magick. Llewellyn Publications, 1996.
Frazer, James George. The Golden Bough: A Study in Magic and Religion, A New Abridgement from the 2nd and 3rd Editions. OxfordUniversityPress, USA, 2009.
Gardner, Gerald. High Magic’s Aid. Aurinia Books, 2010.
Gardner, Gerald. The Meaning of Witchcraft. Red Wheel/Weiser, 2004.
Gardner, Gerald. Witchcraft Today. Citadel, 2004.
Giles, Cynthia. The Tarot: History, Mystery, and Lore. Touchstone, 1994.
Graves, Robert. The White Goddess: A Historical Grammar of Poetic Myth, Amended and Enlarged Edition. Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 1966.
Leland, Charles G. Aradia or The Gospel Of The Witches. Kessinger Publishing LLC, 2010.
Lipp, Deborah. The Way of Four: Create Elemental Balance in Your Life. Llewellyn Publications, 2004.
Marcoux, Tom. Darkest Secrets of Spiritual Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself, Boost Your Psychological Immune System and Strengthen Your Spirit. Tom Marcoux Media, LLC, 2011.
McCoy, Edain. Sabbats: A Witch’s Approach to Living the Old Ways. Llewellyn Publications, 2001.
Murray, Margaret Alice. The God of the Witches. NuVision Publications, 2009.
Neal, Carl. The Magick Toolbox: The Ultimate Compendium for Choosing and Using Ritual Implements and Magickal Tools. Samuel Weiser, 2004.
Russell, Jeffrey B. and Alexander, Brooks. A History of Witchcraft: Sorcerers, Heretics & Pagans, 2nd Edition. Thames & Hudson, 2007.
Starhawk. The Spiral Dance: A Rebirth of the Ancient Religion of the Goddess: 20th Anniversary Edition. HarperOne, 1999.
Sylvan, Dianne. The Circle Within: Creating a Wiccan Spiritual Tradition. Llewellyn Publications, 2003.
Tognetti, Arlene. The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Tarot, 2nd Edition. ALPHA, 2003.
Tognetti, Arlene and Flynn, Carolyn. The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Tarot Spreads Illustrated. ALPHA, 2006.
Valiente, Doreen. An ABC of Witchcraft Past and Present. Phoenix Publishing, WA, 1988.
Valiente, Doreen. Natural Magic. Robert Hale, 1999.
Valiente, Doreen. Witchcraft for Tomorrow. Robert Hale, 1993.
Wood, Robin. Robin Wood Tarot: The Book. Robin Wood Enterprises, 1998.
Wood, Robin. When, Why … If. Robin Wood Enterprises, 1997.
Once you have read a number of books, you will have a basic familiarity with the Craft. Next, find a mentor in the particular Tradition (type) of Wicca you want to study.
The Witches’ Voice (witchvox.com) is a great place to read more articles and to network for new connections. You can find people who have taken the giant step (and risks) to be known in the community.
Observe carefully. Use your basic familiarity with the Craft and your intuition to find someone who you feel is a good match for your next steps in learning.
Each Tradition does the Craft a little differently. It’s not that one particular Tradition’s ritual is “wrong” compared to another Tradition. There are many ways of doing the same thing correctly.
How did you come to know the Craft? Let me know in the comments section. Thank you.
Perhaps you’ve noticed our new logo for this blog. It is the heron. Why this particular bird? The heron has been a representation of the Goddess for a long time. Below is the heron’s story as told by my friend Kay Pannell.
Ardea
The name Ardea Herodotus is the Linnaean classification for the heron. The Ancient Greek historian, Herodotus, wrote in the 8th Century BC. His history of the fall of Troy included this:
After the fall of Troy, Prince Aeneas traveled to the area around Rome. One of the lands he visited was the land of the Rutuli, whose capitol was Ardea and whose ruler was Turnus. Turnus had been betrothed to Livinia, daughter of a neighboring king.
Unfortunately, the king decided to give her to Aeneas instead. (You’d think after Aeneas’s brother Paris took Helen of Troy away from her husband, King Menelaus of Sparta, he’d have wised up about taking a woman away from a man with an army—but no). A war ensued between Aeneas’s fleet and Turnus’s army. During the hostilities, the city of Ardea was burned. Herodotus reported that from the ashes of the city a white bird arose that no one had seen before. It was the heron, and for ever afterward, the heron was called Ardea. When Carl Linnaeus began his classification in the 17th Century, he called the heron, Ardea Herodotus, for the story.
The word, Ardea, also translates as “earth goddess” in Greek.
Written by Kay Pannell
Thanks, Kay.
This story is here to stay. I hope you enjoyed it. Now here’s my post for this week.
How to Give Back to the Gods
How do I give back to the Gods? It’s something I think about daily. When I was younger I had no idea. But then I encountered this quote:
Your talent is God’s gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God. – Leo Buscaglia
This hits the mark I think. We may not thing we have much to give back but all of us has something, our talent—the gifts the Gods have given us.
When we use our unique gifts to help others, the Gods smile upon us. For this is why we were given the gifts. To make each other’s lives more enjoyable.
Using your talents doesn’t mean you have to make it a business. You don’t need to produce products or live on a demanding schedule to serve others.
Maybe you like to cook or bake. Prepare some food and take it to a friend who is sick. Or take it to an elderly woman who lives alone and on a fixed income. This will mean a lot to someone who needs something but has no other way to get it. (Be careful to ask about dietary needs and allergies to guard the person’s health.)
If you don’t cook, do you play music? Go to a children’s hospital and play for the kids. You don’t need to book gigs and have tons of followers. You’ll still make an important difference in the hospital.
Can’t think of some particular gift to share? Donate some of your time and do volunteer work for some charity. For example, I donated time at The Peninsula Humane Society. I helped with the small animals.
Now, I write this blog. This came as a surprise because of my dyslexia. But I was led to writing by the Gods themselves. It’s hard to argue with that.
But you don’t need the Gods’ intervention to tell you what to share with others. Try something. You won’t know what is a helpful activity until you experiment a little.
On Monday September 23rd, I was reminded of the importance of celebrating small victories.
Life is meant to be celebrated.
In the days before September 23rd, I was running frantically with so much to do: Getting ready for my upcoming Oct. 19th workshop (in California) and getting my first workbook completed and then available for people to purchase online (available here). I was tired.
I took a belly-flop on the couch. I expected my sweetheart to offer me at least a score of “9.2” for my maneuver.
Instead, he asked, “How are we going to celebrate?” It had been months of work on my workbook with my sweetheart editing portions of the book daily.
Celebrate? I was exhausted and I could only think of the rehearsals for my workshop and other projects with deadlines.
Still, he was right (Don’t tell him.) It’s important to pause and celebrate a little success.
Along the same lines, my sweetie writes in his daily gratitude journal–that’s where you note what you’re grateful for. Perhaps, you had a good phone call with a friend. Maybe you took a walk for exercise. He writes in his gratitude journal just before he goes to sleep each night.
It’s so easy to forget the blessings in our lives. They happen everyday. Some may be small but they are there. However, many of us only remember the things that troubled us during the day.
It’s like a stubbed toe that screams pay attention. But we miss acknowledging all the other toes that are just fine. We concentrate on that which gives us pain.
But what about the joys in our day? The cat that purrs with affection as you caress it; your partner smiles in the morning; and you hear your favorite song on the radio. How about when your loved one makes your favorite meal?
I invite you to push forward the joys and blessing of your day. Pause. Pay attention. Push the “stubbed toe” into the background.
How do we push the joys and blessings forward? Write in your gratitude journal. Then you’ll think about your day in a different way. Sometimes, I think of a day as glancing out the window and seeing two things: a pile of garbage next to a glorious rose. When you write in your gratitude journal, you’re looking at the rose.
When I write down the “roses” of my day, I’m always surprised about how many actually occurred.
How about you? How many positive things are in your life right now? You’re reading this, so your eyes are working. You’re breathing. You’re probably looking forward to something even, perhaps, a favorite TV show.
I find that consciously choosing to look at the “roses” of life helps me focus on the beauty and joy that I experience. Soon after I started this writing in my gratitude journal, I realized that I didn’t just have one rose, I really had a rose garden.
Now, you can take this a step further. In addition to remembering the roses of your life, show your gratitude. Do a simple ritual at the end of your day. After noting my blessings in my gratitude journal, I take a candle and offer it as thanks to the Gods for the blessings I enjoyed.
Tea light candles work great for this. They are small and don’t take too long to burn. This way you don’t have a candle burning when no one is around. (Never leave a burning candle unattended.)
This candle is a small gesture to the Gods in thanks for all the blessings they provide. Since starting this ritual, I have noticed even more blessings occurring in my life.
The nice thing about this ritual is that it doesn’t take much time and it doesn’t require a big fanfare. As long as your ritual is heartfelt and sincere the Gods will be pleased.
If you live with someone who isn’t Wiccan, lighting a candle in not a big inconvenience. Simply let them know that this is a positive part of your daily life.
This ritual is a great way to say “I noticed” and “thanks” to the Gods. They will appreciate it. This ritual also helps you be happier and healthier.
Please leave a comment and let me know if you do something like this or if you have a different way to honor the blessings in your life. I’d love to hear your perspective. Thanks.
I have a treat for you. My friend Heather Greene is guest blogging today. She will tell her story about how she found the Craft.
But first I want to share a few thoughts and a recipe of mine.
This is one of my favorite times of the year. During this harvest time we celebrate ripening of our labors. Now we reap the benefits.
One of the best things is how spiced foods start to appear during this season. And with that thought in mind, I’m sharing one of my favorite recipes with you. It’s my pumpkin bread recipe.
Moonwater’s Pumpkin Bread
Makes 2 loaves.
3 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2 tsp. baking soda
1 1/2 tsp. salt
2 tsp. cinnamon
2 tsp. allspice
2 tsp. nutmeg
3 cups sugar
4 eggs, beaten
2 cups of fresh pumpkin → 16 ounces if using canned pumpkin
2/3 cup water → if pumpkin is canned
1/2 cup water → if pumpkin is fresh or frozen
1 cup vegetable oil
1 cup chopped pecans
Preheat oven to 325 F. Combine flour, soda, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg and sugar in large mixing bowl. Add eggs, water, oil and pumpkin. Stir until blended. Add nuts. Mix well. Pour into two 9×5″ loaf pans. Bake 1 hour 30 mins. Cool slightly and take out of pans to let cool on a rack. This tastes best if you wrap, refrigerate and wait a day to eat it. It keeps well in the refrigerator and can be frozen.
I love this bread. It’s great for parties or have a slice for dissert. One of the coolest things is it can be put in the freezer to be stored for a future date. This is wonderful if you have lots to prepare for a party and need the time for other things.
I hope you enjoy it, and if you have any recipes to share I would love to see them, and try them! Please use the comment box below to share.
And now for the main event Heather Greene’s post!
Heather Greene
My Journey to Wicca
“The reaches opened before us and closed behind, as if the forest had stepped leisurely across the water to bar the way for our return. We penetrated deeper and deeper into the heart of darkness.” – Joseph Conrad, The Heart of Darkness
Spiritual awakenings are funny in that they can happen at any given moment – in church, in the car, in the plumbing section of Home Depot. They sneak up on us and seize our minds, bodies and hearts. Then they send us soaring at lightening-speed into another time and space where everything is suddenly crystal clear – for only one moment. When we return an instant later, we are more confused than before but forever changed in some indeterminable way.
My spiritual awakening happened in high school after reading The Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad. The novella blew my mind and kept me in philosophical ecstasy for weeks. I jumped at any and all opportunities to discuss the story’s deeper meanings. In hindsight, I probably lost a few friends that year and it was no coincidence that was the same year I earned my reputation. From that point forward, I was known as the enigmatic, artsy girl who was unofficially voted most-likely-to-be-a-poet. Not a bad reputation by high school standards.
To this day, The Heart of Darkness stills sends my heart a-flutter. The book essentially deconstructs human society. It not only challenges the morality of European Imperialism, it also breaks down deeply rooted Western cultural constructs such as good and evil. It posits that our values and ethics are social impositions rather than anything signed, sealed and delivered by an absolute natural order of existence or some supreme being with a playbook. We, humans, have determined what is good and what is evil. We have constructed our reality.
See, it blows the mind.
Shortly after reading the book, I started my writing career. I wrote fictional tales about horribly impossible and depressing situations that ended with twist of hope. Most of that work was ignored; up until I wrote a suicide story. That one landed me in the counselor’s office where I yelled, “No I’m not going to commit suicide already! Have you not read The Heart of Darkness?” There was an implied teenage “duh!” in that outburst.
So there I was, an enigmatic future poet and angst ridden teen, feeling totally ready to birth my spiritual life. Considering my ethical world had been created solely by art, literature, philosophy and science, I had nothing to go on except a secular world view. In many ways, I was lucky. Unlike many Pagans, I didn’t have to shed a religious belief system before entering into a new one. I just had to step in and see how the water felt.
Not long after the “Suicide Story” incident, I began to journey through the thick forest of the Occult. First I dabbled in Astrology. I can remember working through what seemed like endless hours of painful mathematics to produce one single birth chart. When I had enough money, I finally bought an Astrology program and a computer to go with it. After awhile I expanded to Tarot, Palmistry, scrying, astral projection and crystals. The world was my magical oyster and I was willing to entertain all it had to offer.
By that point I was well into college. During one summer break, I took a weekend house sitting job for a New York City lawyer. While staying in her Upper East Side apartment, I discovered some funny little herbs in tiny plastic bags. A neighbor, who had stopped by, said very casually, “She’s a witch.” I was struck. What?! A Witch? My mind was blown yet again! I should really consider myself lucky to have anything left at this point.
At the very next opportunity, I rushed into a Barnes & Noble and went straight to the Occult section. After careful consideration, I purchased Raymond Buckland’s Complete Book of Witchcraft. Sitting there on the muggy A-Train packed in with all the other tired commuters, I clung to my new book as if I was harboring the last Golden Ticket to the Wonka factory. This witch book was sacred, somehow, and filled with all the answers.
Unfortunately the book didn’t have any answers. At least not to the questions that I had yet to really ask. What it did have was a key to a door that led to a pathway of spiritual growth using the language of Witchcraft.
Not long after, I began to practice in earnest. Over the following year, I bought more books: Cunningham, Starhawk, Margot Adler and Silver Ravenwolf, for example. I organized my very first solitary Samhain ritual. When not attending to my film student duties, I dabbled in spell craft. Then, on one faithful day, I bought myself a silver pentacle and began calling myself a Witch.
It wasn’t until then that I realized the depth of what I was doing. This was more than just carnival games and Halloween hocus pocus. It was more than counter-culture and The Wizard of Oz. I found something powerful; something that I now defined as good even if the world defined it as evil.
After several years of solitary practice, I decided to join a Wiccan coven. It seemed the next appropriate step. I’ve been with that same group now for sixteen years. The communal experience strengthened me, gave me tools that I could never have found alone and, most importantly, offered me a community of like-minds who were on a similar path. Many of those people have become treasured friends and family.
But the journey is not over. It is never over.
What I can say now, in clarity, is that it all started with that book – The Heart of Darkness. There in that place, where all the social constructs are gone, there is nothing but raw, unbridled, animalistic humanity – body and blood, love and lust, hate and rapture, and spirit. It is the elemental point of beginnings. It is only from that point that we can see the world for what it is – a stack of cards. It is only from that point we can see ourselves, explore our past and find our motivation. It is honesty at a critical level. Deep within the Heart of Darkness, we are pure. Coming out from that space is the journey of a lifetime – and it just may blow your mind.
Heather Greene is a freelance writer living in the South. She has a masters degree in Film Theory and History with a background in commercial media and technology. She spent the first part of her career working at a major Madison Avenue Ad agency and its production subsidiaries, as well as an systems engineer at a Fortune 100 company. In 2001, she left it all behind to become a independent writer and has been doing that ever since.
Heather has been practicing Wicca for almost twenty years in both solitary and group settings. Her other interests fall into the creative realm. She finds peace dabbling in the artistic energy that always seems to encircle her life through music, dance, color and words. Currently, she is entertaining the muse through her own writing and through music as a songwriter. She finds power and inspiration in all that is reflected in nature’s beauty, family and friends.
So what have you heard about the burden of depression?
If you’ve experienced it, you know what an oppressive malady it is. If you have not experienced it, it’s hard to convey the essence of the pain.
Ever since I was little, I’ve had feelings of hopelessness and unworthiness. Abuse in the form of beatings from my brother and neglect from my parents, intensified my hopelessness.
I never knew when abuse would fall upon me. There was no rhyme or reason. Abusing a little girl is inexcusable. But what was worse, as that little girl, I felt a torrent of twisted thoughts. I believed the abuse happened because I deserved it.
I’ve heard a number of times that some people had perhaps a teacher that provided the support they didn’t have at home. But I wasn’t that lucky.
I did what I could to survive. I avoided people.
To me, depression was living in a deep, deep hole. A dark place where I was alone. I felt that I deserved this dark place. I had no hope, no love, no respect. I felt worthless. My chest hurt. Just cold putrid rotting meat inside me. The depression made it move and writhe like a carcass filled with maggots. There was more: tar, shards of broken glass, rusty nails.
Escape! That’s all I wanted. At eight years old, I tried to hang myself.
The Gods intervened. The cord broke. Not just once, but every time I tried to commit suicide, the Gods saved me.
They poured their light into a places I never thought any light could reach. My heart and soul. When that happened it was indescribable. It was beyond an epiphany. It was beyond life and death. It was so miraculous I can’t describe the event. Only that it was life-changing in every way.
It changed my thinking, my speaking, my body. It changed my world. It changed me. I was not me anymore, and yet, I was. My memories were the same, my environment was the same, my story was the same.
I knew who I was, and where I had come from. But now it was all different. How I experienced life was completely new.
I still have depression. I no longer identify myself as “a depressed person.” I am a spirit who deals with depression systems. I take medication and I have a helpful therapist. Each day I have good moments. I reconnect with the Gods on a daily basis. Even as I write this, my altar gleams with a glowing candle.
The Gods gave me a gift of self-love. I want to show you the way to it. I can’t walk this path for you, but I can show you my own path and walk side by side with you on yours.
Here is a chant you can recite to yourself when you’re hurting:
By the Sun and by the Moon,
Let the Gods’ light be my boon.
Shining deep and shining far,
May I be healed by every star.
I saw it then, I see it now,
Darkness be gone right here, right now!
You can use this short chant whenever you are feeling low. For example you can use this chant during meditation, lighting a candle or as a prelude to a meditation.
As always, let me know your experiences using this chant by using the comments box below. I would love to hear them.
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