education

How Witches Deal with “What No One Is Telling You”

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“I didn’t know if my friend would help me clean out my dead mother’s apartment,” Jillian, someone I know, said.

“How did you find out?” I asked.

“I took her out to coffee,” Jillian began. She continued, “I told Jessica, ‘I feel awkward about this. Saying ‘no’ is okay with me. But…uh…would you consider helping me clean out my Mom’s apartment?’”

“Wow. That sounds good,” I said.

“I was relieved. It worked,” Jillian said.

Here are three insights.

1. Ask questions of people you trust

Do you wonder about: “What no one is telling you”?

Are people finding you to be “nice”?
Do they think you are awkward?

If you feel awkward, it may be possible that other people think you’re doing fine.

But how do you know how you are doing?

Ask questions of people you trust.

For example, my husband asked, “Could I have made it go better when I was talking with Alfonso?”
I replied, “Did you ask about his cat’s surgery?”
“Oh! Good point,” my husband replied.

From that point forward, my husband got better at asking people about topics they were concerned about.

Who do you trust? And can they give you valuable feedback about how you are doing?

2. Listen and make space for personal reflection.

Let’s say a friend says, “You talk too much.”

(That would not apply to me.)

You could reflect on this. You might consider that your friend is an introvert and they just do not relate to a person being so verbal.

You could consult your divinatory tools. You could ask the Tarot: “Give me clarity about how I talk with people…”

It helps when you slow down and give yourself time to personally reflect on the feedback you are given.

3. Pray to the Goddess

Here is a prayer you can use.

Lady of the Moon,
Guide me to people I can trust.
Inspire me to ask them good questions.
So that they may lead me to my truth.
So Mote It Be.

May these insights support your path.

Blessed Be,
Moonwater

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How Witches See “It’s All About the Magick”

/ Moonwater / 2 Comments

Years ago, I was part of a coven in which someone applied to be a new member. “Marvin” lived with an excess of drama. Everything was going wrong. Marvin could not be trusted to do the simplest task. He wanted to know magick because he thought it would gain him some control over his chaotic life.

On the other hand, when I first learned of Wicca, my primary feeling was that I was coming home. It was so beautiful. It was so different from the brutal and rigid religion of my parents.

I have three insights for you related to magick.

1. Discover why you want power.

    Power? Really? Would you like the power to have happy moments during your day?

    How about the ability to heal and quickly overcome the flu?

    Some people are drawn to the practice of magick because they want something.
    Certain individuals want wealth or fame. Why? They think they’ll have more control.

    So why do you want power? What does having skill with magick mean to you?

    It is possible to use power for positive growth. Imagine the power to grow mentally and spiritually.

    2. Make sure you have support.

    Have you had a mentor? I have learned much from my own spiritual elders.

    Mentors can alert us to pitfalls and ways to avoid them.

    Mentors can guide us to be healthy in body, mind, and spirit.

    Support can also come from friends and family. Good relationships create good energy.

    You can support yourself with walks in nature, exercise, good nutrition, prayer, meditation, and good habits around sleep.

    The Goddess and the God stand by for you, too.

    3. Ask the Goddess for Her knowledge.

    “I am Queen of all the witcheries.” – The Goddess speaking in The Charge of the Goddess, as written by Doreen Valiente

    The Goddess knows all magick. She can help you improve with your pursuits in the Wiccan Arts.

    Here is a prayer you can use:

    Goddess,
    Guide me in learning and practicing magick –
    For the good of all involved.
    May I grow in wisdom and compassion.
    So Mote It Be.

    May these insights support your path.

    Blessed Be,
    Moonwater

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    How Witches Carefully Bring Someone New into Their Coven

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    “It’s important that we are careful to vet someone before the possibility of bringing them into our coven,” one of my spiritual elders said.

    This began an important conversation.

    I have three insights for you.

    1. Use a series of tests.

      To even consider a new member, it’s important to consider these questions:

      • Can they follow instructions?
      • Can they keep secrets?
      • Do they want power too much?
      • Are they mentally stable?
      • Can they contribute to the coven?

      Ask the new person to bring something to the next gathering. Do they bring it? Can you trust them to fulfill a promise?

      If they can’t do the small things, don’t expect them to keep big commitments.

      2. Watch for the signs.

      “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” – Maya Angelou

      Is the person quick to blame anyone or anything for their own mistake?

      A friend, Samuel, has a parent who says, “You make me mad.” This person has never taken ownership of their own bad temper. This person has done horrible things but always made excuses. You do NOT want this type of person in your group.

      Watch out for “overly nice people.” Some nice people are so concerned about their reputation that they will not defend you or anyone you care about.

      A person of integrity will speak up when appropriate.

      They will also keep your secrets.

      3. Covens do not rush the process.

      It takes time to get into a coven. It takes at least a year and a day for the coven members to see if you’re a fit for their group. So don’t be discouraged. And if you are not brought into that coven, it may be that you’re just not a match for that particular coven.

      May these insights support your path.

      Blessed Be,
      Moonwater

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      How Witches Stay Aware of “Talkers” Versus Authentic People

      / Moonwater / 2 Comments

      “Crap! I fell for lies, again!” my friend, Phoebe, said.

      “How can I support you?” I asked.

      “I don’t know. Wait. Maybe, I should just come to you and voice my doubts before I get too entangled with someone next time.”

      This began an important discussion.

      I have three insights for you.

      1. Find where you are vulnerable.

      Are you vulnerable to “Talkers?” How do you know if you are vulnerable?

      Here are possible ways to be vulnerable. Are you:

      • In a stressful time right now?
      • Feeling emotionally vulnerable?
      • Transitioning from one stage of life to another?
      • Young without certain life experiences?
      • Physically older with physical ailments?

      Manipulators are like predatory animals. They prey on the weak. They target people due to something they want: Money, sex, or something else.

      2. Ask “Is this too good to be true?”

      Be careful if you want something too much.

      So many people are experts at pulling a con on others.

      When possible, step on the brakes.
      Get multiple estimates. Check in with trustworthy people. Do relevant research. Type in the name and add “scam” to a Google search.

      I like this quote

      “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
      – Maya Angelou

      If you find out that someone does or says something terrible, do not hide. Instead, “believe them the first time.” Protect yourself. Get away.

      3. Ask for Goddess’s support so you stay strong and face difficult truths.

      Here is a prayer you can use to ask Goddess to empower you.

      Blessed Mother,
      Give me strength,
      Hold me close in Your arms of comfort.
      Empower me to weather the storms of my life.
      Help me face the difficult truths I encounter.
      Give me guidance so I take positive steps forward.
      Thank you, dear Mother.

      May these insights support your path.

      Blessed Be,
      Moonwater

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      How Witches Energize a Romantic Relationship

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      “Women are not attracted to nice guys,” my friend, Alicia, said.
      “Maybe. But I heard that the real turn-off is … some nice guys are passive. You cannot count on them to step up and protect you,” I noted.
      I have learned that we need to be proactive to protect our relationship. And, a big part of that is to know, in a relationship, the partners have real differences.
      Here are three insights.

      1. Observe your preferences and how they differ from your partner’s preferences.
      What do you like? Do you like it when your partner brings you flowers? Or do you like it when they do the dishes, or maybe help you with one of your goals?
      A person who likes “Acts of Service” will feel loved when you do things for them.
      Other people really feel loved when you give them a gift. Think chocolate and flowers. Unless there is an allergy!
      The strange thing is that partners are often opposite in what makes them feel loved.
      It sounds like this: “I brought you flowers, greeting cards, jewelry…”
      “Yeah. But could you just edit my article for my blog?”
      That’s the sound of someone who prefers “Acts of Service.”
      How do you know what makes your partner feel loved? … Ask them.

      2. Note the differences between how you feel comforted and your partner feels comforted.
      Imagine this situation. When you were a kid and you felt sick, your mother gave you chicken soup. And you still like chicken soup. You might feel comforted and loved with chicken soup.
      Let’s say your partner prefers tomato soup. No matter how many bowls of chicken soup you offer, nothing good happens.
      To make sense of this, it helps to have some conversations.

      3. Ask the Goddess to help you make space for the differences.
      Here’s a prayer that may help you:
      Goddess,
      Guide my partner and me.
      Help us ask the right questions so
      We discover what truly supports each other.
      Help us to listen well.
      We understand that our preferences may differ a lot.
      Guide us to improve our personal energy so
      We have reserves of calm and space for listening.
      So Mote It Be.

      May this prayer or something similar support you.
      And…

        May these insights help you on your path.

        Blessed Be,
        Moonwater

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        Happy Ostara 2024

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        Spring Arrives with Ostara

        Spring Arrives with Ostara

        Happy Ostara from all of us at GoddessHasYourBack.com and we wish you and all your kin a great sabbat.

        Ostara

        Ostara happens at the Spring (Vernal) Equinox. The days become equal to the night, and the light finally overcomes the darkness of winter. Ostara’s theme is fertility. The God courts the Goddess and their sexual energies of desire flow over the Earth, leading to a burst of new life and growth upon the land by the plants and the animals. Here the courting God and Goddess’s desire to mate drive the Earth and its inhabitants to mate and bring new life to the land.

        The Teutonic goddess of spring, Easter brings her symbol of the egg and her patron animal, the rabbit. Wiccans celebrate Easter during the Ostara Sabbat. The Christain Church tried to stamp out celebrations of Easter and her symbols of fertility (the egg and the rabbit), but they had become too deeply embedded in the people’s hearts. Christians got their Easter eggs and rabbits from this Goddess. How many Christians know that when they celebrate Easter, they’re using a term originated by Pagans?

        Generally, eggs are a popular representation of fertility and new life. Early Wiccans revered the “cosmic egg,” as many refer to it, for the secrets it held; it contained and produced life. It looked like a stone but held life within.

        Wiccan activities on Ostara include coloring eggs and decorating them with fertility symbols, and then hiding them for children to find.

        Blessed be,

        Moonwater SilverClaw

        How Witches Find Their Way

        / Moonwater / 4 Comments

        “No!” the little girl said.
        Her mother was ordering Chow Mein at the restaurant.
        “I want fried rice,” the girl emphasized.
        “Okay,” her mother said.
        As I saw this, I thought that the little girl had two of three pieces of a process.
        I wondered if her mother would reveal the third step.

        I have three insights for you.

        1. Say “no” to remove distractions.
        Have you ever been in the beginning of a romantic relationship, and you avoided saying what bothers you? Because you want the other person to like you? What if you prefer coffee? But your new partner offers you tea?

        Do you just go along?

        Some people “just go along” so much that the other person does not know what they like or dislike. It is almost as if the other person has not met the real person.

        I notice that if you say no—politely—then you can be a real person. In a romantic relationship, the partner probably wants to please you. Sometimes their efforts work. Sometimes, they don’t.

        As he ages, my husband’s tastebuds are changing. He lets me know what he discovers. He is surprised that he does not like strawberry ice cream anymore.

        Early in our relationship, I let my husband know that I did not find his taste in jewelry to work for me. He waits for me to show what I prefer. That works.

        When you tell your true preferences, your relationship can grow.

        2. Say, “I want…”
        What do you want? Do you know?

        For the little girl, what she wanted was clear. She wanted the rice, not the Chow Mein. This was an easy choice for her. She knew what she wanted.

        As we get older, things change. Sometimes, we can be shocked that we do not want what we have.
        I heard of a doctor who started as a poor kid. He did everything he needed to do to become a doctor. Five years as a doctor, and he was burned out.

        The problem now is that he does not know what he wants, which is different from being a doctor.
        What profession would he go into now?

        Consider using divinatory tools like the Tarot to find new paths to explore.
        Notice when it’s time to ask the Gods.

        3. Ask the Goddess to help you “Hold it together.”
        In the restaurant, I thought that it was healthy for the little girl to say what worked for her and also what she wanted.

        However, later that afternoon, it looked like the girl was running her mother’s life. A thought occurred to me. The mother could say, “Hold it together. Sometimes, you don’t get what you want. Sometimes, you just need to hold it together.”

        Are you feeling low recently? Frustrated? How do you hold it together?
        My husband was feeling low. So, he called a friend, Ethan.
        “How do you take care of yourself when you’re feeling stressed?” Ethan asked my husband.
        “I call you, Ethan,” my husband said. Then he laughed.
        Ethan chuckled.
        My husband said they both felt better.

        Sometimes just calling a friend is the way to go.

        Then, we experience times when our pain and confusion are deep. Seeing a therapist can help.
        And … we can meditate and call upon the Goddess. She will listen to you, nurture your feelings, and guide you to take new steps.

        The Goddess stands close, ready to support you.

        The Divine is in you. The Goddess and God put it into you.
        Do you need to honor your inner voice?
        Who are you? What do you want to say “no” to? What do you want?
        Do you need to hold it together?

        Develop a daily routine for meditation and prayer. This is a true way to “hold it together.”

        May these insights support your path.
        Blessed Be,
        Moonwater

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        How Witches Handle When Life Falls Short of Expectations

        / Moonwater / 2 Comments

        “Ugh. Well, that was SOOO disappointing,” I said to my friend, Maggie.
        I had been looking forward to going to a certain restaurant for three days.
        Previously, the restaurant had closed its doors in my hometown.
        Then, I found it had reopened in a new city, twenty miles away.

        We walked in. The glorious original restaurant’s energy was gone.
        The waitperson was disinterested.
        The restaurant was dark and stagnant, where it had once been light and energetic.

        Here are three insights.

        1. Avoid making it worse.

        I could have reacted by raising my voice and berating the disinterested waitperson.

        But that would have made things worse. I realized that you cannot teach something when someone does not care.

        Raising my voice would have only made me feel bad. Likely the disinterested waitperson would have thought, “Just another jerk.”

        I have learned to devote my energy to situations that can be improved.

        2. Learn the lesson.

        Yes. Learn the lesson. I’ll never return to that restaurant. Life is too short for avoidable bad memories.

        I have learned that finding the lesson in tough situations is important. It saves time. It also protects your personal energy. We, witches, need our energy for ritual and spellwork.

        3. Ask Goddess to alert you to your vulnerabilities and solutions.

        I was so looking forward to having a dark chocolate-dipped macaroon (not to be confused with macaron) in that restaurant. They used to have these giant macaroons. Delicious.

        Not anymore. That chapter is closed.

        Still, I realized that I was vulnerable. I had just been enduring some real disruption in my life. My husband’s parents are going through rough times at a nursing home. It is so sad and painful—while I try to help his parents—as he tries to help, too.

        So, I put all my hopes on having a good time at a restaurant.

        How are you vulnerable? Perhaps, you can meditate and call on the Goddess to give you insights.

        I realized that I could have more support in my life. For example, I have a lot of fun gathering with my friends for a role-playing game.

        My solution is to have multiple supports.

        How will you add more supports into your life?

        May these insights support your path.
        Blessed Be,
        Moonwater

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        How Witches Move Beyond People Pleasing

        / Moonwater / 2 Comments

        “My father expects me to travel many hours – on his errands – even though I’m working two jobs. He won’t hear me at all,” my friend, Nadine, said.

        “That sounds terrible,” I replied.

        Nadine has some tough decisions ahead.

        Here are three insights.

        1. Realize how much you’re paying for certain situations.

          “The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.” – Henry David Thoreau

          I’ve learned that “people pleasers” walk a hard path. Over the years I have tended to be a people pleaser—and I do not like it.

          It’s a hard path to walk because no matter what you do—someone is going to be angry with you.

          Let’s say you have two friends. They don’t like each other. When you spend time with one, the other is jealous. You cannot win if your only value is “people pleasing.”

          Pause. Ask yourself, “What would Goddess advise for me in this situation?” She would not want you to pay “the wrong price.” She wants your growth and well-being. Remember that.

          2. Elevate your personal energy, and you help other people.

          Did you grow up in a household in which parents or guardians said, “Don’t be selfish”?

          Have you heard any guardians say, “Take care of yourself. It’s good”?

          At the same time, I realize that if you take care of your personal energy, you can be helpful to others.

          I’ve learned that helping others actually lifts my own mood. Dealing with depression symptoms, I’ve learned that this is a crucial insight.

          “A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal.” ― Steve Maraboli

          It takes energy to make a kind gesture.
          Be kind to yourself and protect your personal energy.

          3. Ask the Gods to give you insight.

          It’s hard to know what the best thing to do is. Do you say, “No”? Do you stretch “just one more time”?

          Ask the God and Goddess to guide you and to give you insight.

          They can see the whole picture. They know your destiny. They give you purpose and meaning.

          Reach out to the Gods through meditation and prayer.

          May these insights support your path.

          Blessed Be,
          Moonwater

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          How Witches Discover the Wicca Advantage and a Knitting Metaphor

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          “It’s beautiful,” my friend Stephanie said, admiring the large blanket I had knit for her.
          “I’m going to place it on my couch.” Her face was lit up.
          Both Wicca and knitting have supported me in enjoying life.
          Here are three insights:

          1. A Wiccan practice includes “interweaving.”

            In knitting, you can combine two different strands to make a new shade or style of fabric. In this way, you can create new effects and looks.
            In Wicca, you interweave different elements into your practice. You make your practice vibrant. It helps when you learn about herbs, divination, oils, and more. It’s even more powerful when you make your own Wicca-related tools like an athame or wand.
            How will you interweave new elements into your practice?

            2. Choose your yarn.

            What have you consciously chosen to put into your Wiccan practice? Additionally, what have you chosen to have in your life? Which people? Which daily habits?
            It seems so obvious that one chooses the right yarn for your knitting project. For a washcloth, you would likely use a good cotton yarn. For pot holders, a type of wool may be best. You may choose a superwash wool yarn or high-quality acrylic yarn for something that gets washed repeatedly.
            Have you considered that you are “knitting” your own life together?
            Take care and consider which people would be excellent elders, mentors, and friends.
            Who would be good to bring into your life?

            3. Have patience.

            Do you want to wield cosmic power? When do you want that? Yesterday?
            Like knitting, Wicca requires patience. Like each stitch in your project, each lesson in Wicca is crucial to learn before proceeding to the next.
            If you rush any part of your training or even your practice, it is like a bad link in a chain. It will give way first. The chain will break.
            For example, you must patiently do your shielding. Otherwise, you risk facing negative energies or even unwanted entities.
            Carefully, patiently, and thoroughly develop your Wiccan practice.
            May these insights support your path.

            Blessed Be,
            Moonwater

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