Ever find that your Inner Critic beats you up emotionally?
Some of us ask, “What’s an Inner Critic?” That’s the part of you that won’t give you a break. Instead of saying, “You made a mistake,” the Inner Critic says, “What the hell is the matter with you?”
The Inner Critic is a voice inside you that kicks you when you’re down.
Here is a Self-Affirmation Chant to help you exert your inner power.
Self-Affirmation Chant
Inner critic, listen up, You don’t think I make the cut. Listen now and listen good, Just stop pushing “should.” I silence you from ruining my day, Now my Higher Spirit has the last say. Confidence and good thoughts surround me, As I so will, So Mote it Be.
May you guide your Inner Critic to quiet down.
Demote the Inner Critic to just a member of your committee of voices in your thoughts.
Invite the Gods to enhance the power of your Higher Spirit.
“No, I don’t think I’m strong enough to move on from this hell I’m in,” my friend, Amy, said.
“If you realize that Goddess loves you, and you do the things so you can feel Her support—you can do the hard things in life,” I replied.
Here I’ll share three points.
You are not alone.
The God and Goddess are always with you. You can call on Them to help you through the tough times in your life.
“Keep pure your highest ideal; strive ever toward it; let naught stop you or turn you aside.” – Doreen Valiente, speaking in the voice of the Goddess – in The Charge of the Goddess
Sometimes, it feels like everything in the world is trying to stop you from your desired goal. At those moments, look beyond the mundane world. Call on the Gods for Their support. Ask the Goddess, in Her nurturing aspect, to help you and guide you on your path.
Goddess is the Loving Form of Deity.
“Nor do I demand sacrifice, for behold I am the Mother of All Living, and my love is poured out upon the earth.” – Doreen Valiente, speaking in the voice of the Goddess – in The Charge of the Goddess
The Goddess has explained that she doesn’t demand that you sacrifice your desires or dreams for Her. She wants you to be happy. The Gods don’t want us to suffer.
Sometimes, we get the answer of Light, having gone through a time of darkness.
“The dark and the light in succession,
The opposites each unto each,
Shown forth as a God and a Goddess,
Of this did our ancestors teach.” – Doreen Valiente – in The Witches Creed
If we don’t have the hard times or dark times in our lives, we can’t fully appreciate the light parts. In one discussion, one of my friends emphasized that an important part of happiness can be feeling relief after a dark time.
When we see the good times stand out from the dark, we truly appreciate the good times when they arrive.
The dark times can be a powerful form of teacher. Dark times teach us certain lessons we need to learn. When the Light finally arrives, the Light illuminates our progress through those lessons.
We need both times of Light and dark to grow into our full potential and full destiny.
I’ve learned that it is hard to make a healthy choice when you’re in the middle of chaos or stress.
So, what is the solution? Make the choice when things are quiet.
Wiccans, I’ve talked with, mention how they’d like to feel better. In this post, I’ll talk about how you can get to a place of inner quiet. More than that, I’ll show how you can charge a talisman, so you’ll have it available for a stressful moment.
When you make a choice during a quiet time, you can later, during stress, make the healthy choice automatically. In this way you avoid having to make the choice again and again. (Sometimes, we do not have the extra energy to make the healthy choice at that time.)
For example, my husband decided to eliminate peanut butter and apricot preserves from his daily diet. He made the choice once (when he wasn’t hungry.) It has helped him drop 15 lbs. permanently. I have used Goddess Style Weight Loss that I share in my book, and I have dropped 50 lbs. so far.
Charging Your Talisman
Often, Wiccans choose a talisman that can fit into their pocket.
Some suggestions are:
A worry stone
A crystal or mineral that is smooth to the touch
A piece of smooth and sanded wood
Pick something that helps you feel comforted.
Charging and Using Your Talisman Ritual
What you will need:
Your talisman
Brown chime candle
Candle holder
White candles
White bath robe (or a different color that you prefer)
White fresh bath towel
Chamomile tea
Cakes and wine
Gardenia incense
Gardenia oil
Relaxing music
Kosher salt
Altar
Ritual tools
What to do:
Conduct this ritual during a waning moon and when you will not be disturbed.
Set up your altar and place your talisman in the middle of the altar. Next draw your ritual bath.
Add your kosher salt, three tablespoons.
Light the white candles and burn some of the incense for the bath. Play some soothing music on a device safely away from the bathtub.
Drink the tea, then recline in the bath water. Feel the soothing water. Close your eyes and envision all the stress and negative energy dispersing and being absorbed by the bath water.
Deep breathe and relax.
Stay in the bath until all the stress and negative energies are gone from your body. Remain as long as you like.
Once you have finished your ritual bath, dry off with your fresh clean white towel. Put on your clean bath robe.
Next, go to your altar area and cast your circle. Then, sit in front of your altar in a comfortable position.
Cleanse and consecrate your oil and brown candle. Then, dress your candle with the oil—from base to wick. (This pushes the bad stuff away from you.)
Cleanse and consecrate your talisman and rub some of the oil on it as well.
Place the talisman in front of the brown candle.
Light the candle and say:
Fear, stress and sadness, I fling you away During the madness here with me today. Let this talisman disperse all my worries and fears away, Replace with calm and peace for me to stay. As I So Will So Mote it Be.
Carry your talisman with you. When you start to feel overwhelmed, rub it and feel the negative feelings pulled away and into the talisman. Your talisman neutralizes your negative feelings.
Let this ritual bring you peace in your heart and soul.
“Why is it getting worse?” my friend, Stephanie, said.
“I know there’s a lot happening. Anything in particular?” I replied.
“More violence in this country!” Stephanie said. And, this began a significant conversation.
What if Goddess Serves as Your Source of Certainty?
Is it possible to be certain of anything, anymore? Some people complain, “Unbelievable. I could not even imagine that people in leadership positions would be so … disgusting.”
I’ve learned that there is value in seeing ourselves as “spiritual beings having a human experience.”
As many of you know, I believe in the Summerlands, a place of love and peace in between the times we incarnate. We return and incarnate into a new body, and the lessons begin. We use our bodies as a user-interface for our spiritual being to learn lessons on this physical plane.
I realize that it can be tough to see this spiritual level when we’re in the midst of suffering and confusion. It’s as if we’re wearing “human-tinted glasses.” I suggest that we pause and consider looking at our lives from Goddess’s perspective. Goddess knows.
A Source of Comfort
Sometimes, I return to The Charge of the Goddess for inspiration and comfort.
“Let my worship be within the heart that rejoiceth, for behold: all acts of love and pleasure are my rituals. And therefore, let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, honor and humility, mirth and reverence within you.” – Doreen Valiente (speaking in the voice of the Goddess—from The Charge of the Goddess)
A couple of meanings rise up for me with the above quote.
Notice the phrase “all acts of love and pleasure are my rituals,” and see that the Goddess gives us the answer. We can derive comfort in honoring Her with our compassion, reverence, humility and more. Acts of kindness and beauty honor the Goddess and make us feel good.
A Prayer
Dear Goddess Release me from my stale, limited beliefs And give me compassion and mirth in heaps. Acts of love and Acts of pleasure. I honor You in this way forever.
May the ideas expressed here comfort you and invite you to listen to your heart. May compassion for others flourish in your heart.
Here is some good news—some comforting news: Goddess is with you through your entire journey.
“I have been with thee from the beginning; and I am that which is attained at the end of desire.” – Doreen Valiente (speaking in the voice of the Goddess—from The Charge of the Goddess)
The last part of the above quote has a couple of meanings to me. “I am that which is attained at the end of desire” implies that the Goddess’s love is what you receive at the end of your life. I believe we go to the Summerlands at the end of this life. You get to rest and enjoy time with your family and friends. The Gods will be there to give you love and support.
Another meaning is that the “end of desire” is actually a revelation that it is Goddess’s love that we really want. By this I mean, that what we want, including inner peace, joy, fun and comfort, are all manifestations of Goddess’s love. One of my friends recently bought a high-end, new car. What did he want? Some form of fulfillment. A car or a hug is just an expression of the blessings from Goddess. We notice that the car or a hug opens the door to good feelings.
Here is a prayer for times when you’re feeling overwhelmed.
A Prayer
Lord and Lady Give me strength To be compassionate to myself. From that well may I draw The love of the Gods to Persevere on my path And be kind to others.
So Mote It Be.
May this prayer empower you to joy and fulfillment,
“This is so disturbing. All the rich and powerful men who gang together to protect themselves when we see evidence of their sexual abuse of women,” my friend, Jessica, said.
“Yes. And I realize that this is a crucial moment in history,” I replied. Jessica and I continued with a significant conversation. From this conversation and others like it, I have thought a lot about what is going on.
Use Anger as a Stepping Stone for Positive Change
When I was a child, I felt like I did not matter. My brother was given preferential treatment. He tormented me, and my parents’ neglect gave me a clear message that he was worth more to my parents than I was. My brother even went so far as to hold me down underwater (at a neighbor’s pool), terrifying me because I needed air! His friends, all boys his age, did nothing, to help an eight-year-old little girl. They just watched me being assaulted.
With the #metoo movement and with a woman testifying Thursday about the sexual assault she endured, we, women, are now taking our place as worthwhile people who will not stand by while such abuse continues in our society.
Perhaps, like me, you were taught to just swallow your anger.
Now is the moment for a new approach.
Use anger as a stepping stone for positive change.
We, Wiccans, know that there are times when we must stand our ground and even actively defend ourselves. During one of my meditations, I used my astral-sword to defend myself.
Methods of Defense and More …
Here are some suggested actions you can take.
Meditate and keep yourself strong – Keeping your spirit whole and healthy is the foundation for everything.
Call Upon the Goddess – In meditation and prayer, ask the Goddess to strengthen you.
Volunteer in the community with an organization that helps women in need.
“Sometimes, it feels like there’s so much going on and friendships can get hurt along the way. I mean—we all get stressed out,” my friend, Joyce, said. “I’m wondering if there is a magickal way to strengthen a friendship.”
I gave this a lot of thought, and here is a True Friends Spell.
What you will need:
One pink candle
Candle-holder
Rose Incense
Rose oil
Two rings
Ritual tools
Cast Circle in the usual manner.
Dress your candle by rubbing your oil from tip to base. Cleanse and consecrate your candle and rings. Place the pink candle on your altar in its holder. Place the rings by the candle. Take your friend’s hands and both of you say over the rings together:
I swear upon my soul,
Honesty, love, and kindness I shall show.
I State my true name (_each state your name_),
That I am a true friend to you through and through.
That I will be most honest with you,
As I so will, so mote it be!!
Each person places a ring on the other person’s hand other and says:
True friends, true as can be.
Together now so mote it be!
Do the Cakes and Wine Ceremony
Close your Circle
May this True Friends Spell strengthen your bond with your close friend.
Recently a reader asked me: What does the Wiccan Rede “An ye harm none, do what ye will” mean to you? Is it a law, or is it advice?
If you look at the word “rede” it means to give advice to; counsel.
When I look at the Wiccan Rede, An ye harm none, do what ye will, I view it as sage counsel that is given to us.
Advice fits certain situations. Still, other situations call for using a different approach.
How about self-defense? If you do no harm, like block the attack and cause the opponent’s arm to sting, you would be allowing more harm to come upon you.
So, I don’t view the Wiccan Rede as a law, in part because one cannot live up to it. It is impossible to harm none. We eat, we use chemicals to kill germs as we clean our homes, and we brush our teeth. In all of those activities, something’s going to die.
The Wiccan Rede can serve as advice to live a good life, to be kind and loving whenever we can. I have found that the universe will return the same positive energy—perhaps, in another form.
I had another thought. A number of Wiccans suggest that a principle of the universe is grow or die. If we live by the Wiccan Rede as advice, we have the appropriate freedom to grow. As I view material about the #metoo movement, I notice a number of things. It’s reported that the #metoo movement began and continues (as their website states): “The me too. movement has built a community of survivors from all walks of life. By bringing vital conversations about sexual violence into the mainstream, we’re helping to de-stigmatize survivors by highlighting the breadth and impact sexual violence has on thousands of women, and we’re helping those who need it to find entry points to healing.”
The #metoo website continues: “Our goal is also to reframe and expand the global conversation around sexual violence to speak to the needs of a broader spectrum of survivors. Young people, queer, trans, and disabled folks, Black women and girls, and all communities of color. We want perpetrators to be held accountable and we want strategies implemented to sustain long term, systemic change.”
In a conversation with a number of learned friends, we talked about how any social change has associated pain. Social change does not land in “an it harm none.” People who speak out may lose jobs or worse. One of my friends said, “People, that is, individuals make a decision that the social change is worth the adjustment period.”
As I thought more about this, I found this to be valuable: Strive to do as little harm as you can. Be helpful and be kind when possible to all humans, plants, or entities alike.
“I’m concerned about curses. How can I protect myself?” one of my readers asked.
Here’s an easy Hex-breaking Candle Spell.
What you will need:
One black chime candle
One brown chime candle
One white chime candle
Sea salt
A picture of yourself
Cookie sheet or pan
Tinfoil
What to do:
Cover the cookie sheet with your tinfoil.
Start at the middle of the pan, and pour a line of salt, going from left to right.
Place your picture on the right end of your salt line.
Make a circle around your picture by pouring salt to create that circle. Make sure the salt-circle connects to the salt-line you previously made.
Set the black candle on the left side, at the starting end of the salt-line.
Place the brown candle in the middle of the line, and finally set the white candle on the end of the line, next to your picture.
Think of all the stuff that has been going wrong in your life. Really get your emotions into it. Once you have worked yourself up, light the black candle. Next, light the brown candle. Imagine all the muck draining away from your life.
It’s important to breathe deeply, as you focus on the bad stuff leaving your life for good. Take your time.
Once you have envisioned the muck completely vanishing from your life, light the white candle.
You can meditate on the good things you would like to see manifest in your life.
IMPORTANT: Let all the candles burn themselves completely out. And make sure to avoid leaving a burning candle unattended.
May this Hex-breaking Candle Spell help you move forward in your life.
“I’m stuck. I keep ruminating on how that person betrayed me,” my friend, Leena, said. “If I could just get past this—get beyond this.”
I listened with concern for my friend.
Becoming a High Priestess, I worked for years to learn oath-bound rituals to transcend my earthly concerns. It took a lot of work, but with private rituals, I have discovered how to deeply connect with the Goddess.
Wicca is a path of transcendence, which refers to “existence or experience beyond the normal or physical level.”
Beyond the normal … are we referring to positive or negative experiences?
Perhaps, like me, you’ve experienced some downright horrible events in your life. The good news is that, through Wicca, we can move beyond darkness to that which includes love and light. We have the power to use magick, and we can invite the God and Goddess to help us rise above the darkness of our negative past experiences.
Maybe, you’ve heard the term transformation a number of times. To transform however is to change in character or condition.
I have looked upon transformation as something that requires a lot of effort.
Remember, transcendence is something different. As we noted, it is beyond the normal or physical level. Think of it like this: Transcendence can happen in an instant. For example, some time ago, in the middle of one of my meditation sessions, the God and Goddess appeared to me. This was not something I “forced” or “transformed.” Instead, it was an experience that just manifested. I flowed into beyond the normal or physical.
So, what does this all boil down to?
Transcendence is something you invite, and you do not force.
Here is a prayer that you can use to create transcendence in your life by changing bad experiences into good emotions.
Transcendence Prayer
By love and light, By Old Ones’ might! I ask for Transcendence of my (name of difficulty) in Your Name. May You take it and make it tame. That You turn it into love and light, So I will be all right! Let there be a shift in me, from darkness into light. Let transcendence lift me and take flight. By all the powers of the Sun, Moon and in Old Ones’ Name, Keep me safe and keep me sane. Keep me above the dark waters that I tread within my mind. Let me leave my heartache and sorrow behind. Create growth for me and my life with no end. Through every hill and bend. Pain and fear from (name of difficulty) abate, So I have only a good fate. This (name of difficulty) does not define me! It does not hinder or take me! The love of the Lord and Lady ever fills me, As I so will, So Mote It Be!
May this prayer carry you forward and help you transcend that which held you back.
“I’m concerned about curses. How can I protect myself?” one of my readers asked.
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