“I can’t take any more of this,” Todd, a workshop participant, said.
“Would you tell me more?” I asked.
“I feel overwhelmed,” he replied.
I felt great empathy for his situation. This began a valuable conversation.
So, what do you do when your back is against the wall?
Figure out how to lessen the overload
Draw a vertical line down the middle of a sheet of paper. On the left side, list the top three situations that are impinging on you. Directly across from each stressful situation, note two things you might do that could relieve some of your pain. Here’s a helpful angle about this process: Somewhere, somehow, there’s a lesson in all this. Consider writing in a journal about your thoughts and feelings that arise.
Ask the Gods for Guidance
Meditation is the key here. During your meditation session, breathe in deeply. Ask the God and Goddess, “Please guide me for my good and the good of all involved.” You can also ask, “Is there a lesson for me to learn here?”
Do a ritual to help alleviate the pain
Ritual is a great process for releasing negative energy—to flush it away.
Also, during a ritual you can create and enhance positive energy.
“Are there red flags when a coven screens prospective students and members?” one of my readers asked.
Here are considerations that covens I know consider:
Is the person …
On time? Does the person get to the meeting place a bit early? Being late is disrespectful to the coven leader and wastes their time. This gives everyone a bad feeling. Be a bit early.
Reliable? Does the person bring the items he or she is supposed to bring? In a coven, we rely on each other to bring those items we need. How can you do a candle ritual without candles? Fulfill your commitments.
Trustworthy? Does the person own up to his or her mistakes? A person who cannot admit a mistake is not trustworthy. How can they improve if they cannot see the error? Admit mistakes, resolve to improve and make amends.
Hard working? Does the person complete homework and other assignments? Make sure you demonstrate your commitment by completing assignments.
Dedicated? Does the person take the class and the information seriously? Do they study hard and treat the subject with respect? This is how you demonstrate that you really want to be a priest or priestess.
“How do I have a good PantheaCon experience?” Judy, a newbie, asked me.
Since this year’s PantheaCon will be at least the 11th year I have attended, I had a bunch of ideas rise in my mind.
“Start with the basics,” I began. “Enough sleep, good food, enough water, and pace yourself … oh, and don’t try to see everything.”
In this post, I’ll share ideas about having a good PantheaCon experience. Many of these ideas I’ve shared in previous posts.
For PantheaCon 2019, I’m thinking about Setting an Intention when I wake up—before attending PantheaCon for the day.
Here is a Prayer:
Lord and Lady, I’m grateful for PantheaCon and today, In so many ways. May I meet old friends and make new friends, Creating goodwill that never ends. May I have and keep a good personal shield, Protected from negative energies so that they yield. May I enjoy many moments of joy and inspiration, Learning much from every situation. Thank you, Lord and Lady. So Mote It Be.
More Thoughts on PantheaCon
Later, I reflected on the whole PantheaCon experience, and I had more thoughts …
Enjoy What Is There – “Let it be what it is”
“What did you learn last year at PantheaCon?” a friend, Jimmy, asked.
“Enjoy what is there, and let it be what it is,” I replied. By this I mean, pay attention to your expectations and how attached you might be to them. If you hold too tightly to certain expectations, you might feel devastated if they’re not met. Some people say, “Oh, that ruined my conference experience.”
On the other hand, just let the PantheaCon experience be what it is. Yes, you’ll find people of like mind and faith at the conference. It can be a great place to connect with people.
But if you’re a newbie, you may be held at arm’s length by some people because they don’t know you. Don’t take it personally. After your first year, people will know you. Then closer relationships will be possible.
Enjoy what’s in front of you.
My husband tells a story about how he knew a family that always complained about the restaurant food in front of them. It was always: “The fish is more tender at the XY Restaurant” or “I preferred the noodles at the AB Restaurant.” Nobody was simply enjoying what was in front of them. That is, the exception was my husband, who would say, “This works for me.”
“Wiccans listen to the Earth. They don’t shut out the lessons that She is so desperately trying to teach us…. Don’t shut out the physical world in favor of the spiritual or magical realms, for only through nature can we experience these realities.” – Scott Cunningham
Just as Wiccans listen to the Earth, listen to your own body. Do you need to take a break? Get a nap? Walk outside and get away from people for a time?
Pay attention to your body and the energies around you. You will learn a lot.
Align yourself to your “rhythms” during the event
Know when you have had enough. Don’t stay until you can’t think straight. Especially, be careful if you must drive home or to another hotel.
Some people around you may have similar beliefs andthey may be people who are upside-down—feeling upset about something. Make sure that you take care of yourself. Avoid being vulnerable to picking up other people’s negative energy. In my recent e-newsletter, I wrote:
“If you’re attending PantheaCon, you might want to use this following Shielding Chant to help you stay empowered in such a highly stimulating situation. This Shielding Chant can be used at times when regular shielding isn’t enough.
The InstaCircle Chant for Shielding
As you say this chant, you will take your power hand, (usually your dominant hand) and trace a Circle three times above and around your head. When you do the movements, you will envision the energy streaming from your index finger.
Soon, you will point to the heavens and pull the energy from there to the ground.
Here is the InstaCircle process with the movements:
Using your power hand, trace the Circle three times.
I cast my Circle thrice,
round, round and round.
Point your index finger up to the heavens and then pull energy down to the ground.
Let no bane get in,
From heavens to ground.
May this InstaCircle Chant process bless your life.”
Honor your own rhythms. Recently, I was reading some material by Doreen Valiente, when I came across this quote:
“This deliberate pacing of the circle is called ‘circumambulating.’ It is different from the wild joyousness of the round dance.” – Doreen Valiente
Sometimes, you want to do a “deliberate pace” and get some rest and other times, you’ll probably want to experience some higher energy activities at PantheaCon.
(Note: Having a lot of people in a small space like a hotel can spread germs a lot. Consider washing your hands often or using hand sanitizer. It is good to not only put up our spiritual wards, but keep up our physical wards. You’ll want to avoid catching ill—something known as “Con Crud.”)
In summary, let your PantheaCon experience be what it is, and align yourself to your rhythms during the event.
Do you beat yourself up emotionally? Perhaps, you’ve heard of the Inner Critic.
I have an Inner Critic. She is loud and sometimes in charge. So many times, this Inner Critic not only whispers in my ear but screams at the top of her lungs.
Sometimes, she says, “You’re no good.” Other times she says “You’re too fat … and too stupid.” Too often, this Inner Critic flings me into an overwhelming hopeless feeling.
Maybe, you can relate to this?
One time, when I was feeling particularly down, one of my friends said, “I get it. You have clinical depression symptoms. I’m just wondering if you have some part of you that stands to the side. A part of you that is not caught up in self-hatred. Do you have an … Inner Nurturer?”
What about an Inner Nurturer?
Before that moment, I had never heard this idea, Inner Nurturer. Just imagine, a part of yourself who is on your side. Your Inner Nurturer holds your hand through the tough times.
Maybe, my Inner Nurturer is mirroring what the Goddess would say to me.*
I was intrigued by this Inner Nurturer idea. So, I asked my friend to continue. He said, “It could be like this: Your Inner Critic is like a cup of inky water. And, the Inner Nurturer helps you by filling the inky-water cup with clean spring water. Over time, the ink runs over the edge of the cup, and you’re left with the clean spring water.”
How Can We Fill Up with “Clean, Spring Water”?
I thought about my friend’s story and realized the Inner Nurturer is the Goddess and God.
We reach the God and Goddess through meditation, ritual, and prayer.
Many times, I have let the Inner Critic run my mind. The solution is for me to connect with the God and Goddess more often. More times for meditation, ritual, and prayer. Then, I can banish the Inner Critic—even for a short time.
I’ve learned that it is hard to make a healthy choice when you’re in the middle of chaos or stress.
So, what is the solution? Make the choice when things are quiet.
Wiccans, I’ve talked with, mention how they’d like to feel better. In this post, I’ll talk about how you can get to a place of inner quiet. More than that, I’ll show how you can charge a talisman, so you’ll have it available for a stressful moment.
When you make a choice during a quiet time, you can later, during stress, make the healthy choice automatically. In this way you avoid having to make the choice again and again. (Sometimes, we do not have the extra energy to make the healthy choice at that time.)
For example, my husband decided to eliminate peanut butter and apricot preserves from his daily diet. He made the choice once (when he wasn’t hungry.) It has helped him drop 15 lbs. permanently. I have used Goddess Style Weight Loss that I share in my book, and I have dropped 50 lbs. so far.
Charging Your Talisman
Often, Wiccans choose a talisman that can fit into their pocket.
Some suggestions are:
A worry stone
A crystal or mineral that is smooth to the touch
A piece of smooth and sanded wood
Pick something that helps you feel comforted.
Charging and Using Your Talisman Ritual
What you will need:
Your talisman
Brown chime candle
Candle holder
White candles
White bath robe (or a different color that you prefer)
White fresh bath towel
Chamomile tea
Cakes and wine
Gardenia incense
Gardenia oil
Relaxing music
Kosher salt
Altar
Ritual tools
What to do:
Conduct this ritual during a waning moon and when you will not be disturbed.
Set up your altar and place your talisman in the middle of the altar. Next draw your ritual bath.
Add your kosher salt, three tablespoons.
Light the white candles and burn some of the incense for the bath. Play some soothing music on a device safely away from the bathtub.
Drink the tea, then recline in the bath water. Feel the soothing water. Close your eyes and envision all the stress and negative energy dispersing and being absorbed by the bath water.
Deep breathe and relax.
Stay in the bath until all the stress and negative energies are gone from your body. Remain as long as you like.
Once you have finished your ritual bath, dry off with your fresh clean white towel. Put on your clean bath robe.
Next, go to your altar area and cast your circle. Then, sit in front of your altar in a comfortable position.
Cleanse and consecrate your oil and brown candle. Then, dress your candle with the oil—from base to wick. (This pushes the bad stuff away from you.)
Cleanse and consecrate your talisman and rub some of the oil on it as well.
Place the talisman in front of the brown candle.
Light the candle and say:
Fear, stress and sadness, I fling you away During the madness here with me today. Let this talisman disperse all my worries and fears away, Replace with calm and peace for me to stay. As I So Will So Mote it Be.
Carry your talisman with you. When you start to feel overwhelmed, rub it and feel the negative feelings pulled away and into the talisman. Your talisman neutralizes your negative feelings.
Let this ritual bring you peace in your heart and soul.
“I told her that I trust her with something that, in my local community, I have to keep confidential,” Julie began. “I made her promise me—but she told my secret to everybody. And now they shun me!”
“She told them you are Wiccan,” I said, realizing.
Have you had a similar situation in your life? Has someone betrayed you and now you just can’t get the painful thoughts and feelings out? Does it feel like you’re being ripped apart?
To heal after betrayal, we notice a process …
Stages:
Identify the betrayal
The point here is that you need to acknowledge to yourself that you have been wronged. This person made a decision that caused you harm. Before my divorce, I put up with bad actions of my then-husband. Part of gaining the strength to leave him was for me to put my foot down and declare in my own mind: “This is wrong. I will not endure this, anymore.”
Feel the pain
Acknowledge the pain. Feel it. Until you do, you can’t grow and move past it. Additionally, until you feel the pain you might not have the energy to push through and move on. My then-husband would drain our joint account of money to buy his video games and there would be no food in the apartment. He would feed himself with fast food and think nothing of me.
I had to feel the pain and gather my strength to get the hell away from him. (By the way, I’m so glad because after the divorce, I was free to find my soulmate. It’s so much better now.)
Perhaps, you’re like me, and you’d like a break from feeling so much pain. In fact, I had a recent meditation session in which I asked the God and Goddess, “Why do I have to be in such pain?”
Their answer made me pause. They said, “Pain is to grow.”
So, feeling the pain is where growth happens. I know it sucks. But pain is the fuel that creates growth.
Protect yourself from more trouble
This is where you need to cut all contact with the person. You can do the ritual below for this.
Here are the steps of True Separation:
Verbally end the relationship
Stay away from the person.
Ground yourself.
Cast circle.
Do the Separation Ritual (see below).
Do the Cakes and Wine ritual.
Close the circle.
Finally continue to have no contact with the toxic person.
You will need your usual ritual items to cast circle and your altar. As I mentioned you will also have a length of yarn or piece of red string. The yarn/string must be long enough to encircle your own waist and to encircle the object (that represents the toxic person).
The Separation Ritual
Take the object. First, your will asperge it. Asperge means to sprinkle the holy water with your fingers onto the object.
With the holy water, asperge and say:
I cleanse and consecrate you by water and earth.
Next you will cense the object. Cense means to waft incense smoke over the object.
With the incense smoke, cense and say:
I bless and charge you with air and fire.
Then take the string/yarn and cense and asperge it as well and say:
I cleanse and consecrate you by water and earth.
I bless and charge you with air and fire.
Take the red string/yarn in your hands saying:
Tiny bundle of String/yarn
You are now the same as the bonds between me and Name of person.
Tie one end of the string/yarn to the object and then encircle your waist with the other end of the string/yarn, while you say:
You are the bonds that connect us now.
From me to Name of person and from Name of person to me.
Our connection is by thee.
Sit and concentrate on the bond between you both and see it as the string/yarn that now connects you and the object. Once you have a firm connection with that thought, take the boline and cut the string/yarn, seeing in your mind’s eye the astral bonds being cut along with the string/yarn.
Once you complete the cut, say:
I am now free of the ties of Name of person as he/she is of me.
May my happiness expand, and may Name of person’s happiness expand.
Blessed be.
Finish up with the Cakes and Wine part of the ritual and then close the Circle.
Call upon the God and Goddess to assist with your healing
Meditate and pray to the Gods for strength. Here is a prayer you can use.
Heal my heart and mind, Free me of violence that binds Keep me safe and sane from [his/her] madness, Let me stay centered and stay strong as my own badass. So mote it be!
Circle the Wagons with Friends
Keep your true friends close to you. Confide in them and let them build you back up.
Move into Inner Peace
Now that you are centered and have had your friends strengthen you, you can now move into peace. You now know that you have separated yourself from the betrayer, and you have surrounded yourself with the love of your true friends and the God and Goddess.
Keep in mind there is a difference between acceptance and approval. You do not approve of the betrayer’s actions. Eventually, you might get to the point of acceptance. What would you be accepting? You would accept that the person was caught up in their own crap, and you weren’t even a fly on their windshield. We notice that people can be seriously self-centered and cruel.
But acceptance is not approval. Acceptance is realizing that you went through an event, and today you are not ruled by it.
May this material support you and bring you peace.
Find a quiet space, place your feet flat on the ground and breathe deeply.
Feel the tension and stress in your body. In a moment, you’ll use the following Tree of Life Meditation to release this tension.
The Tree of Life Meditation
(You can record your voice on your phone and play it back so you can concentrate on this meditation.)
Slowly breathe in and out.
Breathe in the energy of love and peace (envision this as white energy). Breathe out all stress and negativity (envision this as black smoke).
Keep taking deep breaths in and out.
Concentrate on the white energy being breathed in and filling up your body with loving energy. Then let go and breathe out the negative energy you see, in your mind’s eye, as black smoke. As you do this, release the stresses of the day. Repeat this breathing cycle at least three times until you are comfortable and relaxed.
As your body and mind begin to relax, continue deep breathing and focus on this image:
Envision roots made up of energy that sprout from the bottoms of your feet. With each breath, extend the roots farther and farther down toward Mother Earth.
Extend them down through the floor, down past the plumbing of the house and down deep into Mother Earth’s body. Reach down to her core, to the center of Her heart.
Once there, with each breath in, pull up the energy from Mother Earth. Breathe out the stress and breathe in the blue-green energy of Mother Earth.
Pull the energy up through your roots, up past the plumbing of the house, past the floor and into your feet. The energy feels clean and refreshing.
Breathe in deeply. Pull the blue-green energy up into your legs and past your knees. Pull it up, up into your Root Chakra at the base of your spine. Let it fill your body, up into your Sacral Chakra and continuing to your Solar Plexus Chakra. Breathing in deeply, draw the energy up into your Heart Chakra. Let the energy flow down your arms and into your hands. Feel your body relax as the energy fills it.
Breathing in, draw the energy up into your Throat Chakra.
Concentrate on the blue-green energy filling your body. When you are ready, with another breath in, breathe the energy up into your Third Eye Chakra.
Using your breath, draw the energy up into your Crown Chakra. Feel the energy flow throughout your body.
With another breath in, pull the energy up and out of your head. The energy forms like branches toward the Sky above you. Continue and let the branches flow up and out into the cosmos.
Draw down the golden energy of the Sky and universe into you. Continue to let the Sky energy intermingle and mix with the Earth energy that is already there. Pull it down through your body and into your arms.
Continue breathing deeply, mixing and pulling the energies down to your Heart Chakra.
Breathe in again, pulling the energy of the universe down into your Solar Plexus Chakra.
Continue pulling in the energy. Let it flow into you. Pull it into your Root Chakra. Breathing deeply, pull it down your legs and down to your feet.
Feel the energy from both the Earth Mother and the Sky Father that is within you.
Now focus on pulling this mixed energy out from the top of your head once more. But this time let it cascade down all around you like a waterfall until it completely surrounds you.
With a deep breath in, take the energy and push it out in all directions into an egg shape around you. This is the Cosmic Egg of Protection.
Keep breathing and push out more and more energy into your egg.
Your egg gets stronger and stronger.
When you are satisfied with the strength of your egg stop and relax.
In a moment or two, slowly start to pull your branches back within you, pulling them in with each breath.
Let any extra energy dissipate through the roots that you had placed into the Earth from your feet, keeping the egg intact.
Now breathe in, pulling the roots, up, and back into your body just like the branches that were above you. Give yourself over to the total relaxation you now feel.
In a moment or two—and when you are ready—open your eyes.
“So much doesn’t make sense now,” my friend, Jacob, said.
“I can guess some of what you’re referring to,” I replied. “Is there something specific that really bothers you?”
“I … I guess. I don’t know why things have to be so screwed up. I feel really bad,” he said.
This began an extended conversation that left me thinking deeply.
So much of what bothers us comes down to asking “Why?”
And then the big question: “Why am I here?”
I have often looked on the earth as a classroom.
So, then the question might take on a new tint, “What am I here to learn?”
The next thought is: “To find out what you must learn, think of… What triggers you? What makes you sad, scared or angry?”
Deep meditation holds the key to the mystery.
Triggers Meditation
Find a quiet somewhere you know you will not be disturbed. Turn off your phone and choose a place to sit comfortably. Keep your back straight.
The Meditation
[Consider recording the following words on your smartphone, and then you can play the recording back. In this way, you would be guided through the process by your own voice.]
First, close your eyes. Notice that the light begins to fade around you. Slowly at first, then it gets darker and darker. Until you are in total darkness, where you feel safe and secure.
(Pause)
Then, just as the darkness came, it leaves. The light returns, slowly at first. Gradually, it gets brighter and brighter. Notice you are in a new place—standing inside a great temple. In front, you find a large stone altar, and you step up to it.
On the altar’s right, you see a large cauldron. Within it, fire burns brightly. It is warm and soothing.
Turning back to the altar, you view three objects resting on the smooth surface. Each of these objects represents a trigger in you. They can represent any belief that keeps you sad, scared or angry.
Picking up the first object, you examine it closely. It is round and light.
(Pause)
You aim the object at the cauldron and continue to feel the warmth of the fire. Toss the object into the fire, and watch as it is consumed by the flames.
Smoke rises from the burning ball. You marvel as you see something in the smoke. Realize that this object in the smoke represents an unknown trigger inside you. Perhaps, it is the source of your sadness or fear—or anger.
(Pause)
Go to the altar. Pick up the second object. Examine it and notice it is round and light.
(Pause)
You aim the object at the cauldron and continue to feel the warmth of the fire. Toss the object into the fire, and watch as it is consumed by the flames.
Smoke rises from the burning ball. You marvel as you see something in the smoke. Realize that this object in the smoke represents an unknown trigger inside you. Perhaps, it is the source of your sadness or fear—or anger.
(Pause)
Turn to the final object on the altar. Pick up this last object and examine it, finding it to be round and light.
(Pause)
You aim the object at the cauldron and continue to feel the warmth of the fire. Toss the object into the fire, and watch as it is consumed by the flames.
Smoke rises from the burning ball. You marvel as you see something in the smoke. Realize that this object in the smoke represents an unknown trigger inside you. Perhaps, it is the source of your sadness or fear—or anger.
(Pause)
Step back from the cauldron. Notice something that you didn’t perceive before. Now resting on the left side of the altar, you find a small silver chest—about the size of a shoebox.
Feel something in your pocket. Pull out the object—the key of knowledge and truth. You find the place to insert the key into the chest. Upon using the key, you hear a quiet click, and the chest opens.
Inside, you see three new and different objects. Pick them up and then find a comfortable place to sit down. Realize that these objects represent three positive truths. These objects are the keys to learning how to grow beyond your old triggers.
(Pause)
Your time here is done. Place these new objects safely into your pocket.
Breathe deeply. One … Two … Three. Notice the light begins to fade around you. Slowly at first, it gets darker and darker. Until you are in total darkness, where you feel safe and secure.
(Pause)
Then, just as the darkness came, it leaves. The light returns, slowly at first. Gradually, it gets brighter and brighter. The light is back. Now open your eyes and see you are back from your meditation. You are safe, feeling refreshed.
May this meditation empower you to find your personal purpose.
GoddessHasYourBack.com 